Post by The Malvado Brothers on Dec 20, 2023 23:59:46 GMT -5
The scene opens in the magical forest of the north pole where Vanessa Jimenez, dressed as Mother Nature, has gathered her family around for an especially important meeting. It is daytime, cold, but nothing these magical beings are fazed by. The skies are blue, and the snow is thick and fluffy, freshly fallen. She sits at the head of the family table, wearing a beautiful green dress that matches her green hair and goes well with her brown complexion. The table used to be the trunk of the largest tree in all the land, was it just cut down to be made into a table? Not sure, that is a tale for another day but who asks those kinds of questions anyway? Tree huggers? To her left are the entities representing the North Wind, Earthquake, The Tides, and TPW’s own Thunder and Lighting. These last two look confused as to why they are here, but they just roll with it, they fit the roles so perfectly and it’s not like they had anything better to do. Do not worry about who the other entities are, and no, that is not John Tenta, God rest his soul, as Earthquake. They are all hired background actors, not wrestlers from TPW, the 7 Wrestling Sins or other feds. Having just arrived to the meeting are also Santa Claus, being played by Paco, The Malvados’ father and Mrs. Claus, being played by another hired actress, a very hot brunette.
Did we really need to post her picture? Yes we did. Classic Paco.
Santa: Sorry we’re late, you know, busiest time of the year and all.
Mother Earth: It’s okay Santa, we get it. We’re just waiting on the Malvado, er, Miser Brothers.
Santa: The brothers? Oh, not again… Please tell me you are not trying to run an intervention again.
Mother Earth: We can’t give up on them Santa, you know that… No child is truly evil, and every kid deserves a gift on Christmas. You have to get them off the naughty list.
Santa: Okay, first of all, they are not children! They are grown ass men!
Mrs. Claus: Santa dear, please watch your language.
Santa: I’m sorry hon, it’s just these brothers do not deserve a gift, not this Christmas, not any Christmas. They have been evil for as long as I can remember and have been on the naughty list just as long!
Mother Earth: I get that Santa, I really do, but will you please just give them one more chance?
Santa: I don’t know why you insist so much on giving them chance after chance after chance? Do you not recall how the eldest tree in the forest became the council table of mystical beings?
They all tilt their head and look up at the sky, as if remembering that fateful day. I guess that is a tale for this day after all. We flashback to then, and we find ourselves in this very forest, where the much younger Miser brothers, Snow Miser and Heat Miser are in a fierce snow fight with Thunder & Lighting. As they chase each other around the huge tree, Thunder and Lightning decide to climb it, but The Miser brothers, despite being able to climb walls and fences like no one else, when it came to trees, they simply struggle. So Snow Miser has the bright idea of using all his might to freeze the big tree, and it takes all his power to do this, but he manages to freeze it all the way to the very top, where Thunder and Lighting are. They start to slip but quickly use lightning bolts to stick in the tree and use them to hang on. Heat Miser tells his brother to step aside, that “he got this!” He begins to rub his hands together, making the biggest fireball you ever saw. He then breaks his hands apart, forming two fireballs… then, with evil intentions in his heart, he hugs the tree, and it quickly catches on fire! The flames shoot up from his hands upwards, chasing after Thunder and Lighting who have no choice but to let go and fall to their doom. The Miser brothers celebrate their victory as the big tree is nothing but ashes in record time. Mother Nature and the rest of mystical beings appear and upon seeing what has happened, she screams in horror. The brothers look at each other and then point to Thunder and Lightning, saying: “they did it!”. We come back to present time and Mother Nature is fighting the tears.
Mother Earth: Well, thank you very much for making me relive those horrible memories.
Santa: I’m sorry, but I’m just pointing the obvious… The brothers don’t care about anyone but themselves… It is a lost cause, so if you don’t mind, me and Mrs. Claus will take our leave… We have babies to make…
Mrs. Claus: Nicolas!
Santa: TOYS! We have toys to make!
Santa and the lovely Mrs. Claus leave, heading for their sleigh and after getting in and naming every darn reindeer, because that seems to be the only way to get the sleight to fly every damn time, they take off. Mother Nature shakes her head and takes a seat, disappointed. She then looks at the remaining entities and asks.
Mother Earth: Where are those two anyway?!
Everyone shrugs.
Mother Earth: Alright, you two, go find them and bring them.
Thunder and Lighting stand up.
Mother Earth: No, not you two. You guys always make matters worse.
They sit back down, dejected. Mother Earth points to the Tide Twins.
Mother Earth: Please bring them to me?
The twins stand up and nod before turning into a high tide and low tide, disappearing into the forest. Our view switches to find The Malvado brothers dressed as Heat Miser and Snow Miser… Victor, we assume is Heat Misser, wearing a red business suit with yellow flame accents. His mask is red, yellow, and orange, blended to make the color of fire. The spiral on his mask is black while the one on Snow Miser is white. His mask however is different shades of blue, giving that ice cold look. He wears a matching color track suit, and a nice striped scarf around his neck. The Miser brothers are in their secret lair, looking at a map of the TPW Wrestleland. Almost all the regions have x marks on them, either orange or blue, marking where the Malvados have been victorious…. They are pointing at an area where normally Canada would be, and there the pictures of two of the ugliest women you ever saw have been pinned. Both brothers are looking at their picture and shake their heads in disgust.
Victor: Once again we are being asked to face another makeshift duo… Once again, we are being asked to make two wrestlers who couldn’t cut it in singles competition, look good as a duo… How many times do we need to explain that this formula just does not work? Take wrestler “a” and put them with wrestler “b” and watch the magic happen… And I know it’s Christmas time and they say magic is in the air, magic is every where… But trust a Malvado when he says NO, THERE IS NO MAGIC! There has never been any magic and there will never be any magic… Specially between these two broads who hate each other! Khloe “Kartoon” Cox wants us to believe that her and Eavan "Sykobitty" Maloney now love each other just because instead of destroying each other in their match, they decided to hug it out. Does Khloe think we’re just going to forget about her attacking her back in August? Or how about her saying how she "wanted to peel back her soul and show her where the darkness is.." I mean that’s some dark, emo Poop right there.
Hector: Mucho Dark.
Victor: But Eavan didn’t hold back either… She attacked Khloe just as brutally, just as vicious if not more… How can someone so vengeful call the person she attacks her partner? Does she think we forgot her words to Khloe that night? How she brought out the worst in her, how Khloe made her go to that place she didn’t want to go? But now what, you have managed to bottle it all back up? That’s a bunch of boloney I say!
Hector: Bologna?
Victor: Salami?
Hector: Hamon endiablado?
Victor: No not deviled ham, focus hermano!
Hector: Pero hermano, ahoran se llaman los “Jersey Devils”.
Victor: Oooooh so they have come up with a generic ass name for their generic ass tag team? Wow, how originál… When did they come up with that name? While sitting at home, sulking, doing nothing with their lives?
Hector: No se.
Victor: While at the gym pretending to work out those spaghetti arms of theirs?
Hector: No se.
Victor: Well I’ll tell you what I do know, and that is that I’ll take the devil that came out of Georgia over the devils that are coming out of the armpit of America known as New Jersey. At least that devil knew how to play the fiddle, what do these girls know how to do besides lose match-in and match-out? They are tired of losing individually so now they want to lose as a duo? Well, despite how much we hate facing them in this match, we are very happy to accommodate that for them.
Hector: Mucho happy.
Victor: Even though we much rather be fighting, and beating the team who continues to hold our titles without permission: Lights Out. But hey, at least the winner of this match gets a title shot, right hermano?
Hector: Um, no.
Victor: Como que no?
Hector: No es numero uno contenders match.
Victor: Que-que?!
Hector: No se.
Victor: Entonces porque estamos peleando con estas putas?!
Hector: Um, es un, como se dice, special attraction match?
Victor: Special at-, what the hell man?! We’re trying to get our titles back; we’re not fighting just to showcase our talents… or theirs… because let’s face it, they don’t have none! Everyone already knows what we bring to the table… Everyone knows our history, what we’re made of, what we have done, specially this year winning that cup thingy that everyone but us wanted so badly… After all of that, we don’t even get a number one contender’s match?
Hector: No, lo siento hermano.
Victor: Ugh, it’s fine… It is fine… Okay, so it’s a special attraction match… and it’s Christmas, so okay what’s the gimmick for the match? Miracle on 34th Street Fight?
Hector: Um, no.
Victor: “The Grinch who set their opponents on fire” aka an inferno match?
Hector: I which…
Victor: wish hermano, wish. Okay, so a candy cage match?
Hector: Suena rico, pero no… It’s just a -
Victor: Mistletoe in a north pole match?
Hector: Um, who you even kiss in that match?
Victor: I don’t know, Vanessa? Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Okay enough of that, it’s getting creepy.
Hector: Mucho creepy.
Victor: Okay fine, tell me, what kind of match are we getting at Winter in Wrestleland?
Hector: eh, duos match.
Victor: Que?
Hector: Gud ol fachon duos match.
Victor: Good old fashion? So, like any other match on any other type of event?
Hector: Si.
…and Victor Malvado, with his evil-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling, and puzzling…
Victor: How could it be so?
Hector: Mr. Marshall said-
Victor: A match with no ribbons?
Hector: No.
Victor: A match without tags?
Hector: Well, si tag, you tag me, I tag you. Classic duos match.
Victor: Er, a match without packages?
Hector: I mean, we win with pequeno package?
Victor: A match without boxes or bag?
Hector: Um, de que estas hablando loco?
And Victor puzzled and puzzled ‘till his puzzler was sore.
Victor: Sorry, was watching The Grinch last night.
Victor: Then why the hell did we dress up like this?
Hector: Plus I don’t think the younger demographic even know who we are, “A Miser Brothers’ Christmas?” This story is “old AF”.
Victor: Spanish hermano, Spanish. I’m the fluent one. But not our fault no one can come up with good Christmas stories nowadays. What were we going to do, one of those Hallmark channel stories? Hell no!
Hector: Some are mucho heart warming.
Victor: I prefer the Ovation channel versions.. I mean… Let’s just get back on point, and that point is that we look ridiculous!
Hector: I don’t know mang, I kind of like being Snow Miser.
Victor: Well yeah, you are Hector El Frio! But I’m Victor El Black… The dark one, not the hot one. I mean, I am pretty hot.
Hector: Mucho hot.
Victor: We both are… But not Heat Miser hot… At least I thought we could have a snow fight or something, this is so boring.
Hector: Fighting Kartoon Klutz and Ee i ee i o Old Maloney had a farm is mucho boring too.
Then Victor thought of something he hadn’t before.
Victor: When you are right, you are right brother… Well, I guess we’ll just do what we do best… and show the whole world that being a champion doesn’t come from a store…
Hector: Que?
Victor: That being a champion means a little bit more.
Hector: Oh, back to The Grinch are you?
Victor: You don’t need gimmicks or titles, or trophies or cups… Being champion is simply showing, you are the best at your craft… and Hector, are we not the best?
Hector: Mucho Best.
And what happened then? Well, in TPWville they’ll say, that The Malvados egos grew three sizes this day.
Victor: Of course we are… So once again we will show why the Mucho Evil empire stands tall, ruling with a frozen fist over the TPW Duos division.
Just then the walls to their mucho evil lair come crashing down ironically as The Tide Twins arrive.
Victor: Oh wow, look at you guys, you look identical. Hector, I think we were miscast in this thing.
Hector: Me think so too.
Victor: Anyway, what’s up amigos?
The Tides do not answer and instead Turning into the high tide and the low tide again and wash the brothers away. We focus on the map where a cartoon-like wave appears, making its way north on the map until it reaches the magical forest in the north pole. Our view changes and we are back at the family gathering where the Tides wash off on top of the table, revealing a soaked Snow Miser and Heat Miser. Snow Miser seems fine aside from being soaking wet, but Heat Miser is passed out and he is no longer yellow, orange and red but a dark brown color. Snow Miser holds him in his hands as he kneels right in the middle of the table.
Victor: You sons of bitches! My brother is made of fire, you killed him!
The twins look at eachother, swallow hard and then at Mother Nature who slaps her forehead and shakes his head as she buries her face in her hand.
Mother Earth: I’m in a family of morons, I swear.
Lightning: We could have done the job right mother!
Mother Earth: Could you L? Honestly?
Both hang their head in shame.
Lightning: No ma’am.
Mother Earth: Snow Miser, bring him to me.
*He stands up and picks up his brother and takes him over to Mother Nature where she places her hand on his forehead and her other hand in his chest. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, exhales and then magically the colors return to the Heat Miser and he opens his eyes, wondering what has happened. *
Hector: Que paso?
Victor: The Tides killed you brother.
Hector: Hijos de puta! Let’s get them!
Mother Earth: Okay first of all, they are your siblings, so their mother is your mother… Second, I am your mother, so you just called me a puta.
Hector: Lo siento mama.
Victor: Why are we here mother? Why is everyone here? Are we meeting about Santa Claus again? He can’t deliver on Christmas can’t he? I knew it! This is our big chance!
Mother Earth: No, that’s a different story, one that we couldn’t really pull off so we’re just winging it right now.
Victor: Huh?
Mother Earth: We are here today, to get you to stop doing evil deeds.
Hector: Mucho evil.
Mother Earth: No, nada evil! It’s Christmas time, the festive season, the time for holidays… The time to be good, be charitable, to care for your fellow men and women more so than any other time of the year. I’m here to ask you, to beg you, to be good these last few days before Christmas so Santa has compassion and takes you off the naughty list.
Victor: Wait, what?!
Hector: Ese viejo gordo, panson, barbudo, hijo de p-
Mother Earth: Hey!
Hector: Perdon.
Victor: So Santa has put us in the naughty lis eh? Well it looks like we have a new arcnemesis Hector. After we defeat The Jersey Devils at Winter Wrestleland this Friday, we will head to the north pole and declare war on the fat man.
Hector: Mucho war.
Mother Earth: No, don’t you understand! If you do bad things, you will continue to be on the naughty list… One good deed is all you need, and you’ll be in the nice list. Can’t you just do one good deed?
Victor: What? Like letting The Jersey Devils win?
Mother Earth: Oh hell no, by all means, kick their asses… Just promise me, right here, right now, in front of all your siblings that you will try to do one good deed, EACH, before Christmas?
Victor: Oh alright, fine. We will do our best, but not until we have gone mucho evil all over Khloe and Avion or whatever her name is.
Mother Earth: You promise?
Victor: Of course madre.
Hector: Mucho promise.
Mother Earth: Now doesn’t that feel great? Come give your mother a hug before you leave.
*The brothers both hug their mother at the same time tightly. *
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Mother Earth: Boys?
They quickly let go of their mother and say their goodbyes, not only to her but the rest of their families… A portal opens that will take them back home, and once on the other side, they turn to face their family who are all waving. They start to wave back, and as they do, the brothers feel the warmest of feelings in their heart they have never felt before. I guess is the feeling that comes with the promise of doing a good deed.
Victor: Did you have your fingers crossed the whole time?
Hector: Totally.
Victor: Me too.
Or not.
Fin.
Did we really need to post her picture? Yes we did. Classic Paco.
Santa: Sorry we’re late, you know, busiest time of the year and all.
Mother Earth: It’s okay Santa, we get it. We’re just waiting on the Malvado, er, Miser Brothers.
Santa: The brothers? Oh, not again… Please tell me you are not trying to run an intervention again.
Mother Earth: We can’t give up on them Santa, you know that… No child is truly evil, and every kid deserves a gift on Christmas. You have to get them off the naughty list.
Santa: Okay, first of all, they are not children! They are grown ass men!
Mrs. Claus: Santa dear, please watch your language.
Santa: I’m sorry hon, it’s just these brothers do not deserve a gift, not this Christmas, not any Christmas. They have been evil for as long as I can remember and have been on the naughty list just as long!
Mother Earth: I get that Santa, I really do, but will you please just give them one more chance?
Santa: I don’t know why you insist so much on giving them chance after chance after chance? Do you not recall how the eldest tree in the forest became the council table of mystical beings?
They all tilt their head and look up at the sky, as if remembering that fateful day. I guess that is a tale for this day after all. We flashback to then, and we find ourselves in this very forest, where the much younger Miser brothers, Snow Miser and Heat Miser are in a fierce snow fight with Thunder & Lighting. As they chase each other around the huge tree, Thunder and Lightning decide to climb it, but The Miser brothers, despite being able to climb walls and fences like no one else, when it came to trees, they simply struggle. So Snow Miser has the bright idea of using all his might to freeze the big tree, and it takes all his power to do this, but he manages to freeze it all the way to the very top, where Thunder and Lighting are. They start to slip but quickly use lightning bolts to stick in the tree and use them to hang on. Heat Miser tells his brother to step aside, that “he got this!” He begins to rub his hands together, making the biggest fireball you ever saw. He then breaks his hands apart, forming two fireballs… then, with evil intentions in his heart, he hugs the tree, and it quickly catches on fire! The flames shoot up from his hands upwards, chasing after Thunder and Lighting who have no choice but to let go and fall to their doom. The Miser brothers celebrate their victory as the big tree is nothing but ashes in record time. Mother Nature and the rest of mystical beings appear and upon seeing what has happened, she screams in horror. The brothers look at each other and then point to Thunder and Lightning, saying: “they did it!”. We come back to present time and Mother Nature is fighting the tears.
Mother Earth: Well, thank you very much for making me relive those horrible memories.
Santa: I’m sorry, but I’m just pointing the obvious… The brothers don’t care about anyone but themselves… It is a lost cause, so if you don’t mind, me and Mrs. Claus will take our leave… We have babies to make…
Mrs. Claus: Nicolas!
Santa: TOYS! We have toys to make!
Santa and the lovely Mrs. Claus leave, heading for their sleigh and after getting in and naming every darn reindeer, because that seems to be the only way to get the sleight to fly every damn time, they take off. Mother Nature shakes her head and takes a seat, disappointed. She then looks at the remaining entities and asks.
Mother Earth: Where are those two anyway?!
Everyone shrugs.
Mother Earth: Alright, you two, go find them and bring them.
Thunder and Lighting stand up.
Mother Earth: No, not you two. You guys always make matters worse.
They sit back down, dejected. Mother Earth points to the Tide Twins.
Mother Earth: Please bring them to me?
The twins stand up and nod before turning into a high tide and low tide, disappearing into the forest. Our view switches to find The Malvado brothers dressed as Heat Miser and Snow Miser… Victor, we assume is Heat Misser, wearing a red business suit with yellow flame accents. His mask is red, yellow, and orange, blended to make the color of fire. The spiral on his mask is black while the one on Snow Miser is white. His mask however is different shades of blue, giving that ice cold look. He wears a matching color track suit, and a nice striped scarf around his neck. The Miser brothers are in their secret lair, looking at a map of the TPW Wrestleland. Almost all the regions have x marks on them, either orange or blue, marking where the Malvados have been victorious…. They are pointing at an area where normally Canada would be, and there the pictures of two of the ugliest women you ever saw have been pinned. Both brothers are looking at their picture and shake their heads in disgust.
Victor: Once again we are being asked to face another makeshift duo… Once again, we are being asked to make two wrestlers who couldn’t cut it in singles competition, look good as a duo… How many times do we need to explain that this formula just does not work? Take wrestler “a” and put them with wrestler “b” and watch the magic happen… And I know it’s Christmas time and they say magic is in the air, magic is every where… But trust a Malvado when he says NO, THERE IS NO MAGIC! There has never been any magic and there will never be any magic… Specially between these two broads who hate each other! Khloe “Kartoon” Cox wants us to believe that her and Eavan "Sykobitty" Maloney now love each other just because instead of destroying each other in their match, they decided to hug it out. Does Khloe think we’re just going to forget about her attacking her back in August? Or how about her saying how she "wanted to peel back her soul and show her where the darkness is.." I mean that’s some dark, emo Poop right there.
Hector: Mucho Dark.
Victor: But Eavan didn’t hold back either… She attacked Khloe just as brutally, just as vicious if not more… How can someone so vengeful call the person she attacks her partner? Does she think we forgot her words to Khloe that night? How she brought out the worst in her, how Khloe made her go to that place she didn’t want to go? But now what, you have managed to bottle it all back up? That’s a bunch of boloney I say!
Hector: Bologna?
Victor: Salami?
Hector: Hamon endiablado?
Victor: No not deviled ham, focus hermano!
Hector: Pero hermano, ahoran se llaman los “Jersey Devils”.
Victor: Oooooh so they have come up with a generic ass name for their generic ass tag team? Wow, how originál… When did they come up with that name? While sitting at home, sulking, doing nothing with their lives?
Hector: No se.
Victor: While at the gym pretending to work out those spaghetti arms of theirs?
Hector: No se.
Victor: Well I’ll tell you what I do know, and that is that I’ll take the devil that came out of Georgia over the devils that are coming out of the armpit of America known as New Jersey. At least that devil knew how to play the fiddle, what do these girls know how to do besides lose match-in and match-out? They are tired of losing individually so now they want to lose as a duo? Well, despite how much we hate facing them in this match, we are very happy to accommodate that for them.
Hector: Mucho happy.
Victor: Even though we much rather be fighting, and beating the team who continues to hold our titles without permission: Lights Out. But hey, at least the winner of this match gets a title shot, right hermano?
Hector: Um, no.
Victor: Como que no?
Hector: No es numero uno contenders match.
Victor: Que-que?!
Hector: No se.
Victor: Entonces porque estamos peleando con estas putas?!
Hector: Um, es un, como se dice, special attraction match?
Victor: Special at-, what the hell man?! We’re trying to get our titles back; we’re not fighting just to showcase our talents… or theirs… because let’s face it, they don’t have none! Everyone already knows what we bring to the table… Everyone knows our history, what we’re made of, what we have done, specially this year winning that cup thingy that everyone but us wanted so badly… After all of that, we don’t even get a number one contender’s match?
Hector: No, lo siento hermano.
Victor: Ugh, it’s fine… It is fine… Okay, so it’s a special attraction match… and it’s Christmas, so okay what’s the gimmick for the match? Miracle on 34th Street Fight?
Hector: Um, no.
Victor: “The Grinch who set their opponents on fire” aka an inferno match?
Hector: I which…
Victor: wish hermano, wish. Okay, so a candy cage match?
Hector: Suena rico, pero no… It’s just a -
Victor: Mistletoe in a north pole match?
Hector: Um, who you even kiss in that match?
Victor: I don’t know, Vanessa? Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Okay enough of that, it’s getting creepy.
Hector: Mucho creepy.
Victor: Okay fine, tell me, what kind of match are we getting at Winter in Wrestleland?
Hector: eh, duos match.
Victor: Que?
Hector: Gud ol fachon duos match.
Victor: Good old fashion? So, like any other match on any other type of event?
Hector: Si.
…and Victor Malvado, with his evil-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling, and puzzling…
Victor: How could it be so?
Hector: Mr. Marshall said-
Victor: A match with no ribbons?
Hector: No.
Victor: A match without tags?
Hector: Well, si tag, you tag me, I tag you. Classic duos match.
Victor: Er, a match without packages?
Hector: I mean, we win with pequeno package?
Victor: A match without boxes or bag?
Hector: Um, de que estas hablando loco?
And Victor puzzled and puzzled ‘till his puzzler was sore.
Victor: Sorry, was watching The Grinch last night.
Victor: Then why the hell did we dress up like this?
Hector: Plus I don’t think the younger demographic even know who we are, “A Miser Brothers’ Christmas?” This story is “old AF”.
Victor: Spanish hermano, Spanish. I’m the fluent one. But not our fault no one can come up with good Christmas stories nowadays. What were we going to do, one of those Hallmark channel stories? Hell no!
Hector: Some are mucho heart warming.
Victor: I prefer the Ovation channel versions.. I mean… Let’s just get back on point, and that point is that we look ridiculous!
Hector: I don’t know mang, I kind of like being Snow Miser.
Victor: Well yeah, you are Hector El Frio! But I’m Victor El Black… The dark one, not the hot one. I mean, I am pretty hot.
Hector: Mucho hot.
Victor: We both are… But not Heat Miser hot… At least I thought we could have a snow fight or something, this is so boring.
Hector: Fighting Kartoon Klutz and Ee i ee i o Old Maloney had a farm is mucho boring too.
Then Victor thought of something he hadn’t before.
Victor: When you are right, you are right brother… Well, I guess we’ll just do what we do best… and show the whole world that being a champion doesn’t come from a store…
Hector: Que?
Victor: That being a champion means a little bit more.
Hector: Oh, back to The Grinch are you?
Victor: You don’t need gimmicks or titles, or trophies or cups… Being champion is simply showing, you are the best at your craft… and Hector, are we not the best?
Hector: Mucho Best.
And what happened then? Well, in TPWville they’ll say, that The Malvados egos grew three sizes this day.
Victor: Of course we are… So once again we will show why the Mucho Evil empire stands tall, ruling with a frozen fist over the TPW Duos division.
Just then the walls to their mucho evil lair come crashing down ironically as The Tide Twins arrive.
Victor: Oh wow, look at you guys, you look identical. Hector, I think we were miscast in this thing.
Hector: Me think so too.
Victor: Anyway, what’s up amigos?
The Tides do not answer and instead Turning into the high tide and the low tide again and wash the brothers away. We focus on the map where a cartoon-like wave appears, making its way north on the map until it reaches the magical forest in the north pole. Our view changes and we are back at the family gathering where the Tides wash off on top of the table, revealing a soaked Snow Miser and Heat Miser. Snow Miser seems fine aside from being soaking wet, but Heat Miser is passed out and he is no longer yellow, orange and red but a dark brown color. Snow Miser holds him in his hands as he kneels right in the middle of the table.
Victor: You sons of bitches! My brother is made of fire, you killed him!
The twins look at eachother, swallow hard and then at Mother Nature who slaps her forehead and shakes his head as she buries her face in her hand.
Mother Earth: I’m in a family of morons, I swear.
Lightning: We could have done the job right mother!
Mother Earth: Could you L? Honestly?
Both hang their head in shame.
Lightning: No ma’am.
Mother Earth: Snow Miser, bring him to me.
*He stands up and picks up his brother and takes him over to Mother Nature where she places her hand on his forehead and her other hand in his chest. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, exhales and then magically the colors return to the Heat Miser and he opens his eyes, wondering what has happened. *
Hector: Que paso?
Victor: The Tides killed you brother.
Hector: Hijos de puta! Let’s get them!
Mother Earth: Okay first of all, they are your siblings, so their mother is your mother… Second, I am your mother, so you just called me a puta.
Hector: Lo siento mama.
Victor: Why are we here mother? Why is everyone here? Are we meeting about Santa Claus again? He can’t deliver on Christmas can’t he? I knew it! This is our big chance!
Mother Earth: No, that’s a different story, one that we couldn’t really pull off so we’re just winging it right now.
Victor: Huh?
Mother Earth: We are here today, to get you to stop doing evil deeds.
Hector: Mucho evil.
Mother Earth: No, nada evil! It’s Christmas time, the festive season, the time for holidays… The time to be good, be charitable, to care for your fellow men and women more so than any other time of the year. I’m here to ask you, to beg you, to be good these last few days before Christmas so Santa has compassion and takes you off the naughty list.
Victor: Wait, what?!
Hector: Ese viejo gordo, panson, barbudo, hijo de p-
Mother Earth: Hey!
Hector: Perdon.
Victor: So Santa has put us in the naughty lis eh? Well it looks like we have a new arcnemesis Hector. After we defeat The Jersey Devils at Winter Wrestleland this Friday, we will head to the north pole and declare war on the fat man.
Hector: Mucho war.
Mother Earth: No, don’t you understand! If you do bad things, you will continue to be on the naughty list… One good deed is all you need, and you’ll be in the nice list. Can’t you just do one good deed?
Victor: What? Like letting The Jersey Devils win?
Mother Earth: Oh hell no, by all means, kick their asses… Just promise me, right here, right now, in front of all your siblings that you will try to do one good deed, EACH, before Christmas?
Victor: Oh alright, fine. We will do our best, but not until we have gone mucho evil all over Khloe and Avion or whatever her name is.
Mother Earth: You promise?
Victor: Of course madre.
Hector: Mucho promise.
Mother Earth: Now doesn’t that feel great? Come give your mother a hug before you leave.
*The brothers both hug their mother at the same time tightly. *
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Hector: Hmm…
Victor: Hmm…
Mother Earth: Boys?
They quickly let go of their mother and say their goodbyes, not only to her but the rest of their families… A portal opens that will take them back home, and once on the other side, they turn to face their family who are all waving. They start to wave back, and as they do, the brothers feel the warmest of feelings in their heart they have never felt before. I guess is the feeling that comes with the promise of doing a good deed.
Victor: Did you have your fingers crossed the whole time?
Hector: Totally.
Victor: Me too.
Or not.
Fin.
