Don't Vote for Pedro (A Vaughn/JMont Collab)

Post by Peter Vaughn on Jan 16, 2024 15:03:44 GMT -5

A FEW WEEKS AGO


~The picture comes up on what appears to be an aerial view of a rainy highway. A few cars go by, driving carefully through the weather, but for the most part, it’s a fairly peaceful rain. As the drone slowly begins to descend, we begin to hear what sounds like a recording from a voicemail.~

Cliff: Hello? Boss? Look, this is Cliff. You didn’t show up for the new load of cattle showing up, and I know you like to brand them yourself. Text me when you can, I need to know what you want to do here.

~The drone continues along the highway, approaching what appears to be a bridge that goes across a large river. With the rain having been pouring down for a while, the river appears to be at least several inches higher due to the run-off, and it’s running more like a set of rapids than a leisurely stream.~

Thomas: Hey, Pete. It’s your brother. I know, you always say half-brother, but that’s not important right now. Look, I know you’ve been going through a rough patch since Winter Wrestleland. Just give me a call back, okay? Thanks.

~We move closer and closer to the bridge, as a car drives by, moving way too quickly for a day like today. It blares its horn for a second, sliding a few inches to the left, to avoid a person who’s standing near the middle of the bridge. The figure doesn’t even budge, as the car flies past.~

Sadie: Peter? Please call me. I’m really getting worried here. There will be other titles, and you’ll find new allies, better than that jerk, Page. We’ll get through this together. Won’t we? Please… please call. I love you.

~The drone moves around, giving us a full shot of the man standing on the bridge, looking down at the rapidly-swirling water below. It’s Peter Vaughn, the former TPW International Champion. He focuses on the water, studying its movements, oblivious to the rest of the world. That is, until his cell phone goes off. Vaughn pops it out of a pocket, taking a look at the image on the face: a shot of Alexander Marshall. Vaughn immediately hits the disconnect, sending Marshall to voicemail with all the others.~

Vaughn: No more excuses…

~It’s all Vaughn’s heard from Marshall since Vaughn lost to Matthew Knox at the PPV. All the reasons why El Diablo Blanco and Leah Aguero chose not to get involved in his match. All the explanations as to why Marshall himself was occupied with Chris Page and his brother, Terry. All the excuses why Vaughn was left out there, on his own, relying on a plan that nobody else was following through on.~

Vaughn: No more trust…

~Vaughn looks down at the water again. So chaotic. So wild. So inviting. He considers it for a few more moments, then pulls himself over the railing, sitting on it. He then pulls out his cell phone again, shaking his head, before rearing back to toss the expensive device into the drink. Just before Vaughn follows through, though, another call comes in. He stops in mid-toss, his reflexes strong enough to cope with the issue. He then brings the phone back into view… seeing Joe Montuori’s picture on the front, smirking in the photo. Vaughn’s finger heads for the disconnect again… and then hesitates. After a moment, he moves over to the right, pressing the Accept button before bringing the phone up to his ear.~

Vaughn: ... Hello?

~As Vaughn listens to the response, unheard by us, the drone zooms back out, leaving the scene before fading out.~

---

PRESENT DAY


~Winter Storm Warning is in effect as we speak. And where is this at? 3764 Elvis Presley Blvd in Memphis, TN is where you can find the snow, sleet and freezing rain. With temperatures in the very low teens and winds up to 15 miles per hour, who would have the balls to stand outside in this horrific weather?

If this was the Family Feud, Steve Harvey would say that the number 1 answer is….

PETER VAUGHN!

There is no guessing or betting they are here. Vaughn’s balls have to feel like hockey pucks right now. Standing outside the Graceland Mansion, Vaughn stands there with a look of anger on his face. The same look that Travis Kelce is going to have when Taylor Swift finally dumps him. With his hands freezing because of the cold temperatures and freezing rain, Vaughn fights through and reaches into his pocket where he grabs his phone. As he pulls it out of his pocket, he sees that he still has at least 1 bar of service left but only 25 percent juice left on the battery.~

Vaughn: This arrogant, egotistical prick. He told me that he would be here at 10 a.m. And here we are, 30 minutes later and still no sign of him. And to make matters worse, this place is closed because of the weather. Hey jackass, you ever heard of…..

GOOGLE?

Vaughn: He could have looked it up and saw that due to the winter storm warnings, the Mansion was closed until further notice. But NO! He has me standing outside here looking like a fool. Now I know what Dak felt like after the Packers game.

~As Vaughn is getting more annoyed and still no confirmation that he is close by, he looks at his phone one more time, but still nothing.~

Vaughn: I don’t know why I even bothered…

~Vaughn takes a step back, his arm raised and in motion to throw his phone because he has had enough and then…….

BAM!!!!!!

Vaughn gets hit in the side of the face with a snowball. Where in the hell did that come from? Vaughn wonders as he takes one knee to the ground.~

Voice: Hey Colin, I'm here. I didn’t realize how bad this Winter Storm was going to be.

~Vaughn looks up as he wipes the snow from his face. He sees JMont laughing at him, but he doesn't find anything humorous about this whole situation.~

Vaughn: First of all, you are 30 minutes late. Secondly, this place is closed. And thirdly, did you even check the damn weather?

~JMont is still laughing. You would think he is sitting front row at a Dane Cook comedy show with how hard he is laughing. But, finally catching his composure, JMont walks up to Vaughn and helps him up and puts his arm around him.~

JMont: Call me Nick from the movie 30 Minutes Or Less. I just made it here in the nick of time, so i don't owe you Poop. And, you may think it's closed, but it's really open. And, I didn't check the weather. Get in line and sue me.

~Vaughn pushes JMont’s arm off of him as if he hasn't had enough crap happen to him in the last few months.~

Vaughn: Why are we here if this place is closed?

JMont: It’s not closed jackass. I am JMont. Everything is always open for me.

~Vaughn has a look of confusion on his face as JMont waves him on to follow him as they walk up the steps of the Graceland Mansion. The lights are off and the doors are locked. JMont looks at Vaughn and that sinister smirk comes out. Vaughn shakes his head because he knows what happens next will probably get him arrested. JMont walks over to the side of the entrance way and grabs a big rock, which is the size of a 16 pound bowling ball. JMont puts the rock over his head and launches it through the front window. Vaughn puts both his hands on his face like he is the older version of Kevin McCalister as he cannot believe what he just saw.~

JMont: TOUCHDOWN!!!!!

~JMont carefully goes through the window that is shattered. Vaughn just stands there until he sees the front door swing open.~

Vaughn: No alarm system in this expensive place?

JMont: This is why I was 30 minutes late. I was in the back cutting wires and taking care of the security system.

Vaughn: You are one sick individual.

JMont: And you are going to be one AGAIN after this fun day.

~Peter Vaughn joins JMont as they enter the Mansion. And the first thing you see is Elvis’ living room, dining room, the big stairway and the bedroom.~

Vaughn: This truly does remind me of the 60’s or 70’s.

JMont: If you know your music, then you would know that Los Malvados sang that song “Sixties Girl”.



~Vaughn looks at Mont like “How the hell did you know that?” J Mont smirks at Vaughn as they admire their first stop in the mansion.~

Vaughn: So, why are we here? And why are we breaking and entering Graceland?

JMont: Fudge Elvis. He sucks. Buddy Holly was a lot better than him. And I think this is the perfect place to inspire you to get back to the Vaughn that everyone remembers.

Vaughn: And?

~That’s all it took for JMont to hear as he grabbed an expensive lamp made of diamonds and gold. Vaughn really doesn't want to be Harry while J Mont is Marve right now. But that is not the case. JMont slams the lamp on the ground as it shatters everywhere.~

JMont: Come on bitch. Grab something and do the same thing. You will feel so much better.

~Vaughn, with no hesitation after seeing what Mont did, grabs a picture of Elvis and his mother off the wall. Vaughn smashes the picture off the bannister.~

JMont: Yeah. Suck on that Elvis.

Vaughn: That felt pretty good.

JMont: Just think about the Malvados while we are in here and how much Elvis sucks.

~As Mont and Vaughn make their way to the next room, it seems they are working on some team bonding. But also, Mont has a devious plan here to get Vaughn back to his more sinister ways.~

JMont: We are now in the Jungle Room.

Vaughn: Welcome to the Jungle.

JMont: We need to be like an Anaconda and Jaguar.

~JMont sees a Guitar leaning up against the wall that is signed by Elvis.~

JMont: I got a signature for you Elvis.

~JMont slams the guitar into the custom Hawaiian coffee table. Wood pieces fly everywhere as the signature is in a million pieces now.~

Vaughn: That was a 5 million dollar guitar I think too.

JMont: Well I made 10 million betting on the Packers, so we are still good.

~Vaughn and Mont let out a laugh together as they continued on through the Mansion. As they approach the Trophy Room, they both look at one another.~

Vaughn and JMont: [At the same time.] I beat you for the WGWF World Title!

~The Trophy room is bringing out the past between Mont and Vaughn from a different fed. A time when Vaughn was at the top of his game and pretty much unbeatable.~

Vaughn: Well, you pinned Jim Caedus in our triple threat match. I beat you myself to get my title back.

JMont: Sounds like we need a Trilogy match here Vaughn, but that needs to wait because I want to add something to my TROPHY room.

Vaughn: You want S.E.X., don't you?

~JMont looks over at Vaughn because that didn't sound good coming from a man.~

JMont: I want the Cup, not SEX Vaughn. Do I look like Alexander Marshall? Whatever you 2 do in your free time is between you 2. I'm a happily married man to Mia who has the best ass around.

Vaughn: Well, stop being an ass and let's get a game plan together against the Malvado’s.

JMont: That is why we are here. Follow me.

~Vaughn follows Mont as they walk through the Racquetball Court Room. As JMont opens the side door, it leads to the Meditation Garden, where Elvis and other members of his family have been laid to rest. Millions of fans and tourists have come here to pay their respect and get pictures.~

JMont: You see this right here Vaughn?

Vaughn: Yeah. It's the burial of Elvis Aaron Presley.

JMont: If you know me, then you know i dont give a Poop about these burials. I peed on Goth’s ex wife’s grave when he wanted a war. And now we are at a war together versus The Malvados.

Vaughn: So, what, you want me to pee on the burial of Elvis.

JMont: We need to show the world that they are wrong and that Buddy Holly is better than Elvis, and that he should have his own Mansion on display. Plus, The Malvados stated that Elvis is a lot better then Buddy Holly.

~Vaughn thinks it over. He then flips off the burial as he walks right up to it and pulls his pants down. JMont turns the other way because he doesn't want to make Alexander Marshall jealous. You can hear the sound of pee hitting the burial. Vaughn is laughing but it's a very sadistic laugh. As the sounds get lighter and lighter, he finally finishes as he pulls his pants back up and makes sure he zips up.~

JMont: That was for Buddy Holly and a reminder to The Malvados that Team Montaughn is the team to beat in this tournament.

Vaughn: That felt good. Damn, you were right.

~Suddenly, in the distance, we can hear sirens. They’re a good ways off, but Vaughn immediately turns to smirk at JMont.~

Vaughn: Disabled the security system, huh?

JMont: I did it perfectly. You must have tripped a urine alarm or something.

Vaughn: Are you parked nearby?

JMont: You think I’d incriminate myself by parking here?

Vaughn: I suspected as much. I’m a distance aways too. But I’ve got an idea. Follow me.

~Vaughn heads out the door, with JMont knocking over one last lamp before following. They head across the street from the mansion, to the Elvis Presley Museum. Vaughn quickly brings out a key and unlocks the door.~

JMont: How did you…

Vaughn: I asked a custodial connection for the master key when you said to meet you here. I always like to be prepared.

JMont: But why didn’t you use it to get into the mansion?? Why’d I have to climb through a window??

Vaughn: Because… it was CLOSED!

~Vaughn heads inside, with JMont shaking his head. They head to the garage area, where Presley’s famous car collection is located.~

Vaughn: So about the Malvados…

JMont: You want to talk about them now?

Vaughn: No time like the present. I’ve known those two masked wildmen for years now, since my Outsiders days. There’s no doubt that they’re a strong tag-team, and I bet most will think of them as the favorites in the S.E.X. Cup. The problem for them is, they got the absolute worst draw, facing us. They may be great tag-team wrestlers and kings of trickery and deception, but I know all of their secrets. They won’t be able to pull off any of those shenanigans while I’m around. I don’t care which of the maníacos enmascarados is in there, I’ll make both take the Plunge if I have to.

JMont: And I already know what people are saying about us right now. J Mont can't win a tag match. Vaughn can't win a tag match. What makes them think that together, they can finally win a tag match? Well, it's pretty simple. You are talking about 2 former World Champions with the same mindset and goals when it comes to the S.E.X. Cup. Jake Taylor might have used this line for the Indians when he said “Win the whole fuckin thing.”. But that is what we are going to do. The Malvados were probably thinking before the brackets came out that they would coast out of the first round.

EQUIVOCADO!

JMont: The only thing that could stop us right now is if Junko decides to run us over with a police car or Maxwell Stone decides to stick his nose in business that has nothing to do with him. At the end of the day, there is no Obstacle that can stop us. We have been in the business long enough to have seen it all. Together, you put all the knowledge and championship reigns we have had together, it's a recipe for success and a S.E.X. CUP added to our hall of fame resumes.

~Vaughn uses the master key to open another large lock box, which shows off all of the keys of the various vehicles inside. He considers each one carefully, while still talking.~

Vaughn: The Malvados may want the world to believe that they’re unbeatable in the tag ranks. But Lights Out proved that to be untrue. Hector & Victor CAN be taken down, and let’s face it, Vaughn & Montuori are a much more powerful team than Lights Out could ever be. Two World Champions at the top of their game, set to prove to everyone that we are even stronger as a team than we were at each other’s throats. Nobody’s prepared for the act of God… or the Devil… that has brought the two of us together. When we annihilate The Malvados, the most well-renowned and respected team in the tournament, everyone is going to realize that they might as well go home. We’re winning it all.

JMont: Once we take down The Malvados, everyone is going to be running for the fences like Forrest Gump. The world will witness the birth of THE ODD COUPLE. The Malvados are just the start and whoever gets lucky enough to face us next will be doomed the same fate. I am already looking at the number 3 as one that we are going to remember forever. And why is that?

1: Never // More- Matt Knox & Amber Bane Ryan
2: The Malvados- Hector & Victor
3: The Odd Couple- JMont & Peter Vaughn

JMont: Maybe i will even get you a number 3 jersey Vaughn with the name Tres Amigos on the back. And after we get the win we know we are getting, we can sit back and throw down some Dos Equis with a few Tequila shots. But right now, I think we need to just select a vehicle and get out here before the cops show up. I am tired lately of getting thrown in the slammer because people are hating on me. Candice Page. Junko. TPW. WGWF. I say we grab that 1956 Cadillac Eldorado Convertible and head out. The next time I ever want to see Police again, it's them taking The Malvados away after we beat them in the S.E.X. Cup because their green cards have expired.

~Vaughn pulls the correct keys and walks over to the beautiful vehicle.~



Vaughn: A fine choice. Straight from the year Elvis used “hip-shaking” as his way to the top. What a joke. Buddy Holly didn’t need to do that, he just had to put on those glasses and sing “That’ll Be The Day”. That’s just like us, JMont. No gimmick needed, we’ll just go in and throttle the competition one by one, until that trophy is ours. That’ll be the day, indeed.

~Vaughn and JMont both leap into the Cadillac. Vaughn starts it up, and you can immediately tell that the engine has been well-maintained. Ironically, Buddy Holly starts to play on the radio. JMont smirks over at Vaughn.~

JMont: Good to see the real Vaughn again.

Vaughn: You haven’t seen anything yet. We’re just getting started.

~As Vaughn revs the engine, JMont reaches into his pocket, pulling out a mask. He throws it on Vaughn’s lap, with Vaughn picking it up, his eyes suddenly darker.~



JMont: For old time’s sake.

~Vaughn feels the mask, feeling the emotions coming to him from the past. He then revs the engine, quickly peeling out the vehicle through the now-open door. They head down the street, avoiding the oncoming police cars, and disappear into the night.~