Post by Greg T.O.M on Feb 9, 2024 14:58:15 GMT -5
*We open to pitch blackness. The voice of “Thundering” Terry Marshall cuts through the still darkness. *
You know dudes, when I started Thunder Pro back in late twenty-twenty-one, I never thought I’d have to do battle against it.
*The sound of an aerosol can shaking is heard. The bead used for mixing inside the can is heard raddling around inside the stainless-steel can. *
Unfortunately, I got dragged into something I said I wouldn’t do. I got dragged into the ring of my own company. I never wanted to compete in the ring in TPW, but Peter Vaughn knew exactly where to strike to get me into the ring. Vaughn went to my home, and he went after my family. As a man, I couldn’t let that slide. I had to stand up and fight for what was right.
I never would have imagined my brother would turn on me, and take my own company from me. Alexander’s deceit and the wickedness of The Cabal know no bounds. They forced me to go to war with my own creation. I have to step into the ring against two men holding the Duos titles I created in the likeness of myself and my partner.
I…
I can’t do this.
I can’t fight against Thunder Pro. I can’t put down my own creation. I can’t kill my baby.
“Thundering” Terry Marshall, and the Sports Entertainment Xpress can’t kill his creation, but “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall and the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders can.
Jeremy, and Dunan, you two are unfortunate casualties of this war. This war that pits brother against brother, brother that is the most dangerous kind of war. Somehow though, the Cabal has weaseled their way out of this war, isn’t it funny how that worked out? I’d much rather be putting my butt up the backside of Peter Vaughn, cranking the neck of El Diablo, body slamming JMont, and Thunderstriking Leah Aguerro. But you two will have to do, as you serve as proxies for the butt-kicking that is owed to the Cabal.
You two need to understand that you aren’t going to be facing the fun-loving, play-by-the-rules, get a big pop, sell some merch, and send the crowd home happy Sports Entertainment Xpress.
NO WAY JOSE!
You two will have the massive displeasure of stepping into battle with the most ruthless, the most dirty, and downright heelish players in the game, the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders. See dudes, when I tie this black and white bandana around my head, the black from the ink seeps into my pores and goes all the way down into my brain, making me think real dark thoughts, brother.
Too Sweet Terry Marshall won’t break the hold until the count of four point nine. I’ll put my feet on the ropes for leverage. I’ll use a closed fist. I’ll rake the back and the eyes. Too Sweet Terry Marshall and the nWo doesn’t just throw the rulebook out the window, we bash you over the head with it when the referee isn’t looking. That’s what you guys have to deal with, and I gotta ask… whatcha gonna do?
WHATCHA GONNA DO ROGUE’S GALLERY WHEN THE NEFARIOUS WRESTLING OUTSIDERS RUN WILD ON YOU!?!
Wait… I thought it was Rouge’s Gallery.
That was a typo dude.
But I saw it several times.
Well, uh, our intern is dyslexic and…
*Terry Marshall is cut off as Dark Lord steps in front of him and begins yelling. *
Rouge’s Gallery, you may be French, but the only thing you will be kissing is OUR BUTTS! That will not make us blush, even if you are an old fancy word for blush. You may be coloring cheeks and slash or lips in various shades of red, but at Uncivil War it will be YOUR CHEEKS that are red from the spanking we give you. YOUR LIPS will be red when we punch you in the mouth and make them bloody.
I know that you’re on a hot streak, but I have been streaking my whole life. Streaking across the sky, streaking through the quad, and streaking through wins since the formation of Sports Ent… Ur, ah, since the formation of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders. Everywhere we have gone, we have been the tag team champions. Mile High Wrestling, GCWA, WGWF, and like Bruno we don’t talk about the project without honor. We even have a tournament named after us, do you have anything named after you Rouge’s Gallery?
A quick search on the Google machine says that you do not, if only you weren’t so foolish you would have named yourself Rogue’s Gallery, but you are fools. FOOLS for picking the wrong name, and fools for thinking you can defeat the nWo. The only blushing will be when you’re embarrassed by the greatest duo this planet has ever known.
*Marshall pulls Dark Lord by the shoulder to get his attention. *
Brother, it isn’t Rouge, it’s ROGUE’S GALL…
*Dark Lord throws his hand up in Marshall’s face. *
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THEIR NAME IS.
Dude, I told you you can’t use that line, we aren’t doing the Nation of Destrucity.
But I want to beat jabronis and eat pie.
All in due time dude. For now, we are the nWo, and we have come to kill what no one else can, and that is the infected heart of Thunder Pro. Infected by the Cabal, like a parasite.
TPW has worms.
That’s right dude, and we are going to drag Rogue’s Gallery around on the carpet like a dog does their butt when they have worms.
Disgusting.
I know dude, Rogue’s Gallery are in a disgusting spot, but war is far beyond disgusting. War is hell, and next Friday in Dallas, we’re dragging Rogue’s Gallery to hell where they will burn for the sins of my brother.
They will fall into a burning ring of fire, and the flames will go higher and higher.
*Dark Lord holds up a toggle switch. *
Dude, what is that?
*Dark Lord smiles and presses the button, but nothing happens. Marshall looks a bit relieved, but Dark Lord is frustrated. Dark Lord begins pressing the button over and over again, each time pressing it harder. Finally, Dark Lord throws his hands up in frustration as he gives up. *
Brother, what is that button for?
*Looking at Privates Johnson and Richard* SOMEONE, was supposed to plant explosives throughout the TPW arena, so we could blow it up.
DUDE! I still have a mortgage on that place.
You have insurance. Take money while striking a devastating blow against your brother.
*“I knew this was a bad idea”, Marshall says as he shakes his head and begins to walk away. Dark Lork looks around at the rest of the nWo who just shrug their shoulders. They begin to follow after Marshall when suddenly there is a massive explosion from the TPW arena.
The force of the blast knocks the Destrucity Crew, Marshall, Dark Lord, and the camera down. The camera while lying on the ground is still recording as we see debris floating down to the ground. Marshall pushes himself up to a seated position and looks over at the rubble of the arena. As Marshall watches the building burn a tear rolls down his eye while a piece of debris floats to the ground beside him.
Marshall picks the debris up and it is a photo. The photo is partially charred but is a picture of him and his brother Alexander standing together. Terry’s face has been burned away from the explosion, but Alexander’s face with a smug grin is left. Marshall grunts in frustration as he crumples the picture in his hand and the scene goes dark. *
*The shot opens to the outside of a bank. It is a normal, run-of-the-mill, calm day. This tranquil day is interrupted by the sound of an alarm ringing from inside the bank. The doors fly open as a four-man crew, dressed in Malvado masks burst through the heavy glass doors. The four men sprint down the sidewalk, each carrying a large sack of money over their shoulders. Security guards emerge from the bank doors giving chase after the crew.
As the crew reaches the end of the block a large panel van comes to a screeching halt in front of them. The side door is slid open by someone wearing a SuMa mask, and the four men hop in. As the panel door is slammed shut the security guards fire their sidearms and bullets bounce off the door as the van speeds off.
“WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED IN THERE DUDE!?!” Terry Marshall screams as he rips off his Malvado mask.
“YEAH, YOU WERE TO FRISK HIM!” Dark Lord shouts as he pulls his Malvado mask off.
“I DID GET FRISKY WITH HIM!” First Mate Rodman yells as he pulls his Malvado mask off.
“Everyone calm down. We are rolling out on our way to Flavortown, we got nothing to worry about”, Major Flavor says as he pulls his Malvado mask off, revealing that the crew were the four main members of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.
The man who opened the door removes his SuMa mask revealing himself as Private Richard, and the driver removes his SuMa mask revealing himself to be Private Johnson. *
We aren’t in the clear yet Major, we still have to make it out of the cit…
*Marshall is cut off as something falls from the sky and slams into the front of the panel van. The sudden impact sends the van flipping overhead and landing on its top. As the van flies over the object, it appears to be moving in slow-motion. As the van flips Dark Lord falls to the front of the van, looks over his shoulder at the object, and sees who it is. *
*We flash back to real-time speed as the van slams onto its top and slides down the street. The van comes to a stop, and the back doors pop open as the nWo crawls out of the back of the van still groggy from the wreck. As they collect themselves and stand up, they look back to see Super Pooper is joined by the rest of the JLA(Jabroni Losers Alliance).
Wonder If It’s A Woman
Uranus Manhunter
Waterboy
*“Surrender now and no one gets hurt”, Super Pooper says as the Jabroni Losers Alliance joins at his flanks. *
News flash brother, we’re already hurt from the wreck.
Well, then… Surrender and no one else gets hurt worse.
Or, we don’t surrender and we just kick your butts.
HAHAHA!!! DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!!!
Listen Big Biffooorrr…. I mean Fatman, I know you guys are trying to do the right thing. I used to be like that. I used to be a hero, a real hero. When it all came crashing down, and it hurt inside, I would be a man, I wouldn’t run and hide. I’d fight for what’s right, I’d fight for my life. But it didn’t matter brother, The Cabal took over anyway. Evil won dudes.
Superheros and mega babyfaces are a thing of the past now. They’ve been reduced to nothing but cliches and a played-out trope. This is the heels world now. The good guys used to never lose, but now they never win. Evil reigns brother, there is nothing Thunderamania could do about it, and there is nothing you Jabronis can do about it.
We can stop you at least.
*Marshall looks over at Dark Lord, who smirks. Dark Lord turns his evil gaze to Waterboy. *
Hey Waterboy. Water sucks, Gatorade is better.
*Waterboy snaps, showing a clear sign of an issue with his medulla oblongata as he charges headfirst at Dark Lord while releasing a Primal and guttural scream. Dark Lord expected this attack, having taunted Waterboy. Right before impact, in one fluid motion, Dark Lord steps forward while pulling a metal baseball bat from the inside of his black leather trench coat. As Dark Lord pulls it out, he swings the bat up and brings it down, smashing it into the skull of Waterboy.
As Waterboy crumples to the pavement with a severe hematoma to his medulla oblongata, the rest of JLA shout in anger with Fat Man leading the charge. *
ATTACK!!!
*The Jabronis charge into battle, and as they do the nWo power up for battle as well. Firstmate Rodman's body begins to twist and contort, while his skin turns to scales as he morphs into the human-dinosaur amalgamation known as Rodzilla. Major Flavor’s spiked bleached hair turns to flames as he harnesses his pyrokinetic powers. Stimulated by all the action, Privates Richard and Johnson nearly double in size, but everyone knows they are only good for about three minutes of hard action.
Dark Lord lets out a maniacal laugh as he pulls another bat, and some clacking teeth from the inside of his leather trench coat. “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall begins to look like a more mature, but also more jacked Chris Hemsworth version of Thor as lightning pours from his eyes and begins to cover his whole body.
Flasher pulls his trench coat open, hoping to startle Major Flavor, but the Major has seen it all on the mean streets of Flavor town. *
WHOA! I thought they kept the Vienna sausages on aisle nine with the canned goods.
*Embarrassed, Flasher pulls his coat closed. Flavor laughs and grabs a handful of fire from his hair, throwing it at the coat of Flasher. Flasher's coat catches ablaze, sending him running down the street trying to pull his jacket off as he does.
Wonder If It’s A Woman squares off with the two swollen privates. Richard looks at Johnson, and Johnson shakes his head “no”. *
I jumped on the grenade last time bro.
Come on, you like them thicker than a snicker.
*“I can take both you little boys at the same time” Wonder If It’s A Woman says.
The Privates look at each other and nod their heads. The Privates charge headfirst at Wonder If It’s A Woman and give her a real double teaming. She handles them roughly at first, but after a moment she succumbs to the Privates. Meanwhile, Uranus Manhunter is facing off with Rodzilla. *
Brother, ya got no power against me, cause I ain’t a man I’m an animorph.
Like those books from the nineties?
Exactly.
But, you…
*Before Uranus Manhunter can finish what he was saying, Rodzilla bites his head off. Uranus Manhunter’s body falls to the pavement as Rodzilla throws his neck back and swallows the head of the Manhunter down his throat.
Dark Lord has squared off with Fat Man, and the two are engaged in an epic battle of the irresistible force meeting the immovable object. Dark Lord throws the clacking teeth at Fat Man, but Fat Man throws a banana boomerang, knocking the teeth away. Dark Lord moves in, dodging a slow right hook from Fat Man, and countering with a baseball bat shot to the stomach of Fat Man.
Dark Lord tries to pull the bat out, but it is stuck in the massive stomach of Fat Man. Fat Man steps back laughing, and his massive stomach sucks the bat in absorbing it. Dark Lord is bamboozled at how to defeat the sheer mass and absorbing powers of Fat Man. *
You are so fat, when you stand on the scale it says to be continued.
*Fat Man begins to laugh, his stomach shaking like a bowl full of jelly, laughing so much the bat falls from his rolls. *
You are so fat that when the family has their picture taken, you’re the background.
*The laughing continues growing, and Fat Man’s face begins to glow a bright shade of red. *
Two guys were walking down two different streets. They meet each other at an intersection and look at each other intently. The fat man says to the other, “Seems like someone's been through a famine.”. The skinny man replied, “Now I know who caused it.”.
*Fat Man laughs even harder, his face grows even redder, and then suddenly he gasps. Fat Man clutches at his chest and then slowly falls like a lumbering tree. Crashing to the pavement, shaking the ground around him, and cracking the asphalt. We follow the largest crack as it spreads across the asphalt and stops between “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall and Super Pooper.
Super Pooper hurls a giant peanut log at Marshall, but Marshall flashes a lightning bolt at it, splattering it in mid-air. Super Pooper takes two steps forward and flies through the air, his fist forward ready to make an impact, while Marshall leaps into the air riding on the edge of a lightning bolt.
At the last moment, right before impact, Marshall barrel rolls, and slides something down the back of Super Pooper. Super Pooper falls to the ground on his knees, holding his back. In great pain, he looks back at Marshall and asks, “What was that?”.
Marshall snarls as he holds up a fresh rol of toilet paper. *
Charmin… Ultra strong.
*Super Pooper leaps from his feet and charges at Marshall again. As he does, Marshall supercharges the roll of Charmin in his hand and then throws it. The roll of Charmin goes down the throat of Super Pooper and then explodes. Pieces of Super Pooper fly all over the street, and some of it, including chunks of corn splatter onto Privates Johnson and Richard.
Marshall looks at the Privates and the rest of the crew, as their powers slowly fade away and they return to normal. *
Let’s unload the money and grab a car before the Mediocre Four arrive and we have to deal with them too. Privates, clean yourselves up and grab a car.
*The nWo begins grabbing money from the flipped van as sirens are heard echoing in the background as the scene fades to black. *
Let me tell ya somethin', brother! The forces of evil have been runnin' wild for too long in the TPW DUDES! But fear not, because the baddest of the bad, the meanest of the mean, Too Sweet Terry Marshall and Dark Lord are here to lay down the law and restore order.
That's correct, Terry! The good guys have been fightin' tooth and nail against these no-good villains, but it's time for a change! It's time for the REAL bad guys to step up and save the day!
You see, brother, there's a storm brewin' for Uncivil War, and it ain't gonna be no walk in the park for those so-called heroes! The bad guys ain't playin' by the rules no more, 'cause we're gonna do whatever it takes to put Roge’s Gallery, and the Cabal in their place!
The power of the dark side flows through our veins, and we aren't afraid to unleash it on anyone who dares to stand in our way! So listen up, Rouge’s Gallery,, 'cause we're comin' for ya! And when we're through, you'll be thankin' us for savin' ya from the real evil in the TPW.
So buckle up, Jack, 'cause the ride's 'bout to get wild! The bad guys are takin' over, and ain't nobody gonna stop us from settin' things right in the TPW DUDE! So Jeremy The Wicked, SuperUnkown, and The Cabal, I gotta ask one question.
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when Too Sweet Terry Marshall, Dark Lord, the Nefarious World Order, and all the power of the SEXAMANIACS RUN WILD ON YOOOOOUUUUU!!!!
You know dudes, when I started Thunder Pro back in late twenty-twenty-one, I never thought I’d have to do battle against it.
*The sound of an aerosol can shaking is heard. The bead used for mixing inside the can is heard raddling around inside the stainless-steel can. *
Unfortunately, I got dragged into something I said I wouldn’t do. I got dragged into the ring of my own company. I never wanted to compete in the ring in TPW, but Peter Vaughn knew exactly where to strike to get me into the ring. Vaughn went to my home, and he went after my family. As a man, I couldn’t let that slide. I had to stand up and fight for what was right.
I never would have imagined my brother would turn on me, and take my own company from me. Alexander’s deceit and the wickedness of The Cabal know no bounds. They forced me to go to war with my own creation. I have to step into the ring against two men holding the Duos titles I created in the likeness of myself and my partner.
I…
I can’t do this.
I can’t fight against Thunder Pro. I can’t put down my own creation. I can’t kill my baby.
*As Marshall’s words fade into the ether, the sound of an aerosol can shaking is heard again. Then the sound of spray paint is heard in the darkness. As the spraying sound fades the opening cords of “Keep Me” by the Black Keys begin to ring through the darkness. Marshall’s voice cuts in again, but this time with a much more sinister tone. *
“Thundering” Terry Marshall, and the Sports Entertainment Xpress can’t kill his creation, but “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall and the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders can.
*Strobe lights begin to flash revealing Marshall, now decked out and black and white cloathing. By Marshall’s side is Space Lord, from now until the end of the Uncivil War to be known as Dark Lord. *
*The Starship Desolator crew are gone, replacing them is the Starship Destrucity crew, Firstmate Rodman, Major Flavor, Sargent Savage, and Privates Johnson and Richard. The crew is walking away slowly, like an action movie dramatically slow, from the TPW arena. In the background, the sign for the arena can be seen with the letters, “nWo” spray painted on it. *
Jeremy, and Dunan, you two are unfortunate casualties of this war. This war that pits brother against brother, brother that is the most dangerous kind of war. Somehow though, the Cabal has weaseled their way out of this war, isn’t it funny how that worked out? I’d much rather be putting my butt up the backside of Peter Vaughn, cranking the neck of El Diablo, body slamming JMont, and Thunderstriking Leah Aguerro. But you two will have to do, as you serve as proxies for the butt-kicking that is owed to the Cabal.
You two need to understand that you aren’t going to be facing the fun-loving, play-by-the-rules, get a big pop, sell some merch, and send the crowd home happy Sports Entertainment Xpress.
NO WAY JOSE!
You two will have the massive displeasure of stepping into battle with the most ruthless, the most dirty, and downright heelish players in the game, the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders. See dudes, when I tie this black and white bandana around my head, the black from the ink seeps into my pores and goes all the way down into my brain, making me think real dark thoughts, brother.
Too Sweet Terry Marshall won’t break the hold until the count of four point nine. I’ll put my feet on the ropes for leverage. I’ll use a closed fist. I’ll rake the back and the eyes. Too Sweet Terry Marshall and the nWo doesn’t just throw the rulebook out the window, we bash you over the head with it when the referee isn’t looking. That’s what you guys have to deal with, and I gotta ask… whatcha gonna do?
WHATCHA GONNA DO ROGUE’S GALLERY WHEN THE NEFARIOUS WRESTLING OUTSIDERS RUN WILD ON YOU!?!
Wait… I thought it was Rouge’s Gallery.
That was a typo dude.
But I saw it several times.
Well, uh, our intern is dyslexic and…
*Terry Marshall is cut off as Dark Lord steps in front of him and begins yelling. *
Rouge’s Gallery, you may be French, but the only thing you will be kissing is OUR BUTTS! That will not make us blush, even if you are an old fancy word for blush. You may be coloring cheeks and slash or lips in various shades of red, but at Uncivil War it will be YOUR CHEEKS that are red from the spanking we give you. YOUR LIPS will be red when we punch you in the mouth and make them bloody.
I know that you’re on a hot streak, but I have been streaking my whole life. Streaking across the sky, streaking through the quad, and streaking through wins since the formation of Sports Ent… Ur, ah, since the formation of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders. Everywhere we have gone, we have been the tag team champions. Mile High Wrestling, GCWA, WGWF, and like Bruno we don’t talk about the project without honor. We even have a tournament named after us, do you have anything named after you Rouge’s Gallery?
A quick search on the Google machine says that you do not, if only you weren’t so foolish you would have named yourself Rogue’s Gallery, but you are fools. FOOLS for picking the wrong name, and fools for thinking you can defeat the nWo. The only blushing will be when you’re embarrassed by the greatest duo this planet has ever known.
*Marshall pulls Dark Lord by the shoulder to get his attention. *
Brother, it isn’t Rouge, it’s ROGUE’S GALL…
*Dark Lord throws his hand up in Marshall’s face. *
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT THEIR NAME IS.
Dude, I told you you can’t use that line, we aren’t doing the Nation of Destrucity.
But I want to beat jabronis and eat pie.
All in due time dude. For now, we are the nWo, and we have come to kill what no one else can, and that is the infected heart of Thunder Pro. Infected by the Cabal, like a parasite.
TPW has worms.
That’s right dude, and we are going to drag Rogue’s Gallery around on the carpet like a dog does their butt when they have worms.
Disgusting.
I know dude, Rogue’s Gallery are in a disgusting spot, but war is far beyond disgusting. War is hell, and next Friday in Dallas, we’re dragging Rogue’s Gallery to hell where they will burn for the sins of my brother.
They will fall into a burning ring of fire, and the flames will go higher and higher.
*Dark Lord holds up a toggle switch. *
Dude, what is that?
*Dark Lord smiles and presses the button, but nothing happens. Marshall looks a bit relieved, but Dark Lord is frustrated. Dark Lord begins pressing the button over and over again, each time pressing it harder. Finally, Dark Lord throws his hands up in frustration as he gives up. *
Brother, what is that button for?
*Looking at Privates Johnson and Richard* SOMEONE, was supposed to plant explosives throughout the TPW arena, so we could blow it up.
DUDE! I still have a mortgage on that place.
You have insurance. Take money while striking a devastating blow against your brother.
*“I knew this was a bad idea”, Marshall says as he shakes his head and begins to walk away. Dark Lork looks around at the rest of the nWo who just shrug their shoulders. They begin to follow after Marshall when suddenly there is a massive explosion from the TPW arena.
The force of the blast knocks the Destrucity Crew, Marshall, Dark Lord, and the camera down. The camera while lying on the ground is still recording as we see debris floating down to the ground. Marshall pushes himself up to a seated position and looks over at the rubble of the arena. As Marshall watches the building burn a tear rolls down his eye while a piece of debris floats to the ground beside him.
Marshall picks the debris up and it is a photo. The photo is partially charred but is a picture of him and his brother Alexander standing together. Terry’s face has been burned away from the explosion, but Alexander’s face with a smug grin is left. Marshall grunts in frustration as he crumples the picture in his hand and the scene goes dark. *
*The shot opens to the outside of a bank. It is a normal, run-of-the-mill, calm day. This tranquil day is interrupted by the sound of an alarm ringing from inside the bank. The doors fly open as a four-man crew, dressed in Malvado masks burst through the heavy glass doors. The four men sprint down the sidewalk, each carrying a large sack of money over their shoulders. Security guards emerge from the bank doors giving chase after the crew.
As the crew reaches the end of the block a large panel van comes to a screeching halt in front of them. The side door is slid open by someone wearing a SuMa mask, and the four men hop in. As the panel door is slammed shut the security guards fire their sidearms and bullets bounce off the door as the van speeds off.
“WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED IN THERE DUDE!?!” Terry Marshall screams as he rips off his Malvado mask.
“YEAH, YOU WERE TO FRISK HIM!” Dark Lord shouts as he pulls his Malvado mask off.
“I DID GET FRISKY WITH HIM!” First Mate Rodman yells as he pulls his Malvado mask off.
“Everyone calm down. We are rolling out on our way to Flavortown, we got nothing to worry about”, Major Flavor says as he pulls his Malvado mask off, revealing that the crew were the four main members of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.
The man who opened the door removes his SuMa mask revealing himself as Private Richard, and the driver removes his SuMa mask revealing himself to be Private Johnson. *
We aren’t in the clear yet Major, we still have to make it out of the cit…
*Marshall is cut off as something falls from the sky and slams into the front of the panel van. The sudden impact sends the van flipping overhead and landing on its top. As the van flies over the object, it appears to be moving in slow-motion. As the van flips Dark Lord falls to the front of the van, looks over his shoulder at the object, and sees who it is. *
Super Pooper.
*We flash back to real-time speed as the van slams onto its top and slides down the street. The van comes to a stop, and the back doors pop open as the nWo crawls out of the back of the van still groggy from the wreck. As they collect themselves and stand up, they look back to see Super Pooper is joined by the rest of the JLA(Jabroni Losers Alliance).
Fat Man.
Wonder If It’s A Woman
Uranus Manhunter
Flasher
And.…
And.…
Waterboy
*“Surrender now and no one gets hurt”, Super Pooper says as the Jabroni Losers Alliance joins at his flanks. *
News flash brother, we’re already hurt from the wreck.
Well, then… Surrender and no one else gets hurt worse.
Or, we don’t surrender and we just kick your butts.
HAHAHA!!! DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!!!
Listen Big Biffooorrr…. I mean Fatman, I know you guys are trying to do the right thing. I used to be like that. I used to be a hero, a real hero. When it all came crashing down, and it hurt inside, I would be a man, I wouldn’t run and hide. I’d fight for what’s right, I’d fight for my life. But it didn’t matter brother, The Cabal took over anyway. Evil won dudes.
Superheros and mega babyfaces are a thing of the past now. They’ve been reduced to nothing but cliches and a played-out trope. This is the heels world now. The good guys used to never lose, but now they never win. Evil reigns brother, there is nothing Thunderamania could do about it, and there is nothing you Jabronis can do about it.
We can stop you at least.
*Marshall looks over at Dark Lord, who smirks. Dark Lord turns his evil gaze to Waterboy. *
Hey Waterboy. Water sucks, Gatorade is better.
*Waterboy snaps, showing a clear sign of an issue with his medulla oblongata as he charges headfirst at Dark Lord while releasing a Primal and guttural scream. Dark Lord expected this attack, having taunted Waterboy. Right before impact, in one fluid motion, Dark Lord steps forward while pulling a metal baseball bat from the inside of his black leather trench coat. As Dark Lord pulls it out, he swings the bat up and brings it down, smashing it into the skull of Waterboy.
As Waterboy crumples to the pavement with a severe hematoma to his medulla oblongata, the rest of JLA shout in anger with Fat Man leading the charge. *
ATTACK!!!
*The Jabronis charge into battle, and as they do the nWo power up for battle as well. Firstmate Rodman's body begins to twist and contort, while his skin turns to scales as he morphs into the human-dinosaur amalgamation known as Rodzilla. Major Flavor’s spiked bleached hair turns to flames as he harnesses his pyrokinetic powers. Stimulated by all the action, Privates Richard and Johnson nearly double in size, but everyone knows they are only good for about three minutes of hard action.
Dark Lord lets out a maniacal laugh as he pulls another bat, and some clacking teeth from the inside of his leather trench coat. “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall begins to look like a more mature, but also more jacked Chris Hemsworth version of Thor as lightning pours from his eyes and begins to cover his whole body.
Flasher pulls his trench coat open, hoping to startle Major Flavor, but the Major has seen it all on the mean streets of Flavor town. *
WHOA! I thought they kept the Vienna sausages on aisle nine with the canned goods.
*Embarrassed, Flasher pulls his coat closed. Flavor laughs and grabs a handful of fire from his hair, throwing it at the coat of Flasher. Flasher's coat catches ablaze, sending him running down the street trying to pull his jacket off as he does.
Wonder If It’s A Woman squares off with the two swollen privates. Richard looks at Johnson, and Johnson shakes his head “no”. *
I jumped on the grenade last time bro.
Come on, you like them thicker than a snicker.
*“I can take both you little boys at the same time” Wonder If It’s A Woman says.
The Privates look at each other and nod their heads. The Privates charge headfirst at Wonder If It’s A Woman and give her a real double teaming. She handles them roughly at first, but after a moment she succumbs to the Privates. Meanwhile, Uranus Manhunter is facing off with Rodzilla. *
Brother, ya got no power against me, cause I ain’t a man I’m an animorph.
Like those books from the nineties?
Exactly.
But, you…
*Before Uranus Manhunter can finish what he was saying, Rodzilla bites his head off. Uranus Manhunter’s body falls to the pavement as Rodzilla throws his neck back and swallows the head of the Manhunter down his throat.
Dark Lord has squared off with Fat Man, and the two are engaged in an epic battle of the irresistible force meeting the immovable object. Dark Lord throws the clacking teeth at Fat Man, but Fat Man throws a banana boomerang, knocking the teeth away. Dark Lord moves in, dodging a slow right hook from Fat Man, and countering with a baseball bat shot to the stomach of Fat Man.
Dark Lord tries to pull the bat out, but it is stuck in the massive stomach of Fat Man. Fat Man steps back laughing, and his massive stomach sucks the bat in absorbing it. Dark Lord is bamboozled at how to defeat the sheer mass and absorbing powers of Fat Man. *
You are so fat, when you stand on the scale it says to be continued.
*Fat Man begins to laugh, his stomach shaking like a bowl full of jelly, laughing so much the bat falls from his rolls. *
You are so fat that when the family has their picture taken, you’re the background.
*The laughing continues growing, and Fat Man’s face begins to glow a bright shade of red. *
Two guys were walking down two different streets. They meet each other at an intersection and look at each other intently. The fat man says to the other, “Seems like someone's been through a famine.”. The skinny man replied, “Now I know who caused it.”.
*Fat Man laughs even harder, his face grows even redder, and then suddenly he gasps. Fat Man clutches at his chest and then slowly falls like a lumbering tree. Crashing to the pavement, shaking the ground around him, and cracking the asphalt. We follow the largest crack as it spreads across the asphalt and stops between “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall and Super Pooper.
Super Pooper hurls a giant peanut log at Marshall, but Marshall flashes a lightning bolt at it, splattering it in mid-air. Super Pooper takes two steps forward and flies through the air, his fist forward ready to make an impact, while Marshall leaps into the air riding on the edge of a lightning bolt.
At the last moment, right before impact, Marshall barrel rolls, and slides something down the back of Super Pooper. Super Pooper falls to the ground on his knees, holding his back. In great pain, he looks back at Marshall and asks, “What was that?”.
Marshall snarls as he holds up a fresh rol of toilet paper. *
Charmin… Ultra strong.
*Super Pooper leaps from his feet and charges at Marshall again. As he does, Marshall supercharges the roll of Charmin in his hand and then throws it. The roll of Charmin goes down the throat of Super Pooper and then explodes. Pieces of Super Pooper fly all over the street, and some of it, including chunks of corn splatter onto Privates Johnson and Richard.
Marshall looks at the Privates and the rest of the crew, as their powers slowly fade away and they return to normal. *
Let’s unload the money and grab a car before the Mediocre Four arrive and we have to deal with them too. Privates, clean yourselves up and grab a car.
*The nWo begins grabbing money from the flipped van as sirens are heard echoing in the background as the scene fades to black. *
Let me tell ya somethin', brother! The forces of evil have been runnin' wild for too long in the TPW DUDES! But fear not, because the baddest of the bad, the meanest of the mean, Too Sweet Terry Marshall and Dark Lord are here to lay down the law and restore order.
That's correct, Terry! The good guys have been fightin' tooth and nail against these no-good villains, but it's time for a change! It's time for the REAL bad guys to step up and save the day!
You see, brother, there's a storm brewin' for Uncivil War, and it ain't gonna be no walk in the park for those so-called heroes! The bad guys ain't playin' by the rules no more, 'cause we're gonna do whatever it takes to put Roge’s Gallery, and the Cabal in their place!
The power of the dark side flows through our veins, and we aren't afraid to unleash it on anyone who dares to stand in our way! So listen up, Rouge’s Gallery,, 'cause we're comin' for ya! And when we're through, you'll be thankin' us for savin' ya from the real evil in the TPW.
So buckle up, Jack, 'cause the ride's 'bout to get wild! The bad guys are takin' over, and ain't nobody gonna stop us from settin' things right in the TPW DUDE! So Jeremy The Wicked, SuperUnkown, and The Cabal, I gotta ask one question.
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when Too Sweet Terry Marshall, Dark Lord, the Nefarious World Order, and all the power of the SEXAMANIACS RUN WILD ON YOOOOOUUUUU!!!!
