Post by DiOGee on Nov 28, 2023 8:18:01 GMT -5
I have been in Atlanta for a few days now and the moment I landed, trouble found me like I was playing Hide n Seek with it. I wanted to be an easy target or at least appear to be to the one person in the world I wanted to hug again..
My Fan.
Now I don't want to lie to you, the reader and say that I was in a hurry to go see my Momma. I wasn't. Truth be told, if she hadn't called the Hospital while I was flirting with the cousin of sleep. I wouldn't be here at all. It wasn't still without hesitation.. I grabbed a Hotel near the Airport as soon as I landed and from there, I wanted to make sure I WAS being followed. I wanted to know that my Fan was still watching me.
November 26th
4:00 AM
“Well this is awkward..” We’re all human and at times we make mistakes. That's what I tried to tell myself as I sat in the passenger seat of an SUV with this poor guy who was slumped behind the wheel. I hit him a few times. Grabbing a handful of his hair, I lift and slam his face into the steering wheel. Not once but twice. Pausing only to stare into his face, I leaned over to get a better look. Blood drooling from his bottom lip, his nose split across the bridge. “Hey! You're not him..” I let him go and he slumped forward, ‘resting’ his head against the wheel. In the movies the horn would blare and get the attention of unwanted eyes. That didn't happen. He looked peaceful.
I felt bad but only a little. Is it MY fault he was driving an SUV and he just so happened to be parked outside of the hotel I was staying at. He even kind of looked like him so you can see where I could have made the mistake. It's not his fault he checked all the boxes but it sure isn't mine either! I should have noticed when I got into the vehicle and he screamed out like his soul got jump scared. It didn't even sound like the same guy but I didn't think about that until after the fact. “My bad. No hard feelings..”
I got out of the SUV, shut the passenger door and looked around. There were plenty of people around. Some were walking down the sidewalk on either side of the main street. Some sitting in cars parked along the curb or sitting at the four way traffic light down the way some. None of them notice what happened. Nobody saw it or they just didn't care. They just carried on with their lives and it was about time I did the same..
First things first, I subtweeted:
“I made an oops..” It was subtle and like those going on about their days, I was sure nobody would catch onto my meaning. Attempting to catch up with my Fan, I now needed to do something far more intense and concerning to my well being. I had to go see my Mother..
November 27th
North Decatur, GA
What I expected was about what happened when I got to my Mother's house. The place I grew up, my childhood home. I got cussed, yelled at, threatened and called a wide range of names because I ALLOWED myself to get stabbed. I could have told her the situation but I didn't. Why bother? She was set in her ways and it was almost her way of showing she cared and worried.
For most of that first day, I stayed in my room. Most of it has remained the same since I last lived here. Album covers I collected for a little while. I would glue them to the wall so there were at least 100 covers but they were spread around the walls and ceiling. My one dresser that I have had since middle school was now filled with extra clothes I could use when I come to visit. My old Stereo sits on top of it along with two books full of CDs. Albums and Mixes I burned on the computer. Those were the days..
I laid there on my bed listening to music. R&B and some older HipHop which was almost still where I was in music today. 90s and early 2000s were peak for both genres. In my ears were the sounds of great music but deeper into my head came a different tune of the mind. I was frustrated, confused. Finally able to settle down and let it hit me.
Why didn't she reach out?
Why didn't she come to see me?
“I’ma just call her..” Who was I even talking to? Popping up off the bed, I grabbed my phone. Why was I feeling like a teenager pacing in his bedroom, nervous about calling a girl? This was some boooshit. I wasn't a punk. “Yeah, I’ma do it!” Determined, I went to my contacts. There it was. “Josslynn.”
I hit call and spun the volume knob on the stereo down. Hearing it ring, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. My heart was racing and as I turned around, I flinched. “What the hell! You need to knock!”
“Say huh?” Her head cocks at an angle as she stands in my doorway in a big fuzzy purple robe. “Boy you better knock on wood for some luck next time you think to tell me what I NEED to do in my house!”
She didn't have a weapon of any kind in her hands. I looked and as I heard the ringing stop and Josslynn's voicemail pick up, I spoke out at random. Not thinking as I hung up the phone. “I pay the bills here..”
She held up her index finger and stepped out of the room. She even shut the door which was weird to me and then to my added surprise, she knocked on the door. I stood there confused. Was she being sarcastic or was she finally going to respect my boundaries? I knew better.
“Who is it?” Now who was being sarcastic? I laughed as I reached for the doorknob and opened my bedroom door. “Whoa!!” My reflexes were tested as a baseball bat came swinging downward at me! I stumbled back as she came in, winding the bat up at her side. She was going for a swing at bat! “Stop playing, Ma!”
“Who’s house is this?” She asks but I knew there was only one answer she would accept. She grabbed the bat and not a gun so maybe she was going easy on me.. Should I be grateful? “Go on.. Tell me!” She growls and cocks the bat up over her shoulder, switching to a side stance as if she was about to participate in a Homerun Derby.
“Yours. It's your House, Ma..”
She swung anyway!
THUD!
Right into my left outside shoulder. “Ow! That REAALLY Hurt!” I grabbed the sore spot with my right hand, holding it like there was an open wound. She couldn't just win, she had to have her cake and blow out the candles.
“So.. Where's your girlfriend?” Her random is the origin story to my own. I watched the bat return to her shoulder, held in a casual manner. “Joanne?”
“It’s Josslynn, Ma.. Josslynn!” I corrected her. She had only met her once, backstage at a show.
“That's what I said. Where is she?”
“You know we aren't together anymore.” I vividly remember her texting me about it after the breakup.
“Oh so you never made up?” Her eyebrows stood up. She was surprised by that and started to turn and leave the room. “Shame.. She seemed like a keeper. For you, I mean.”
I wasn't sure that was a compliment. “Tell me about it..” Stepping out into the hallway, she turns and faces me again.
“Well you can stay here for as long as you need to but uhh..” She grabs for the doorknob. “If you hear screaming or weird noises late at night. Mind you business, you hear?”
“That's haunting.. Say less.. Please..” I wanted to show my immaturity and stick my fingers in my ears to block out her voice. I wanted to avoid letting that information even register. She just laughed and pulled the door shut. “Tuesday. I leave for Houston on Tuesday.. I can make it.”
Present Day
Leaving Mom's
“Momma, I’m leaving!” I was already in the living room with my bag packed. Ready to leave in a hurry now that it was time to do so. I didn't hear any stirring in the back room. Thinking about it, I hadn't seen her all morning. I made coffee and watched some news. She was usually an early bird. “Yooo Ma!” I hollered out.
Stepping over my bag, I stepped into the hallway. It was a small house, 2 bedrooms, 1 bath. Just big enough for what she needed to live and raise her child. On the right side of the hallway was my room and up further was the bathroom. Across the bathroom at the end on the left was her room. The master bedroom.
Old wallpaper, some pictures along the walls and a huge cross at the far end of the hallway itself. Her bedroom door was cracked as I moved down closer to it. Easing it open, I remembered her warnings from the other day. I hadn't heard anything the night before but I fell asleep with earbuds in.
“Ohhh that's not right!”
I shouldn't have looked. I shouldn't have gone in there. On the bed with the sheets barely covering anything was a large hairy ass. I scurried back and pulled the door shut as the bathroom door behind me opened.
SMACK!
Her hand reached up and cracked me upside the back of my head. “I done told you to stay out of my room!”
“Ugh! So much hair.. I.. Nevermind, I don't wanna know.” I was scrambling to empty my brain of what I saw and what I knew had happened the night before. This is why Memory Erasers are of interest but to remove these thoughts, I’d risk electric shock therapy right now. If I had a quarter for everytime I have seen something I shouldn't have in this house.. I’d be a VIP member of the Fancy Pants People.
”He’s a real grizzly bear!”
”La La La can’t hear you!” I had to remove myself from near her room so I hurried back down the hall.
“Where are you off to now?” Her voice follows behind me.
“I told you. Houston. I have some business there.” Which was true. I had plans in place and I didn't want to waste any time. After the close call with being stabbed. Having a lung collapse, potentially dying. I was finding I had things I wanted to still do before I died and I sure wasn't planning to let the Fan win. “Oh before I forget.. Sloane says hello.”
“Who?” She asks as I stop in the living room and pick up my bag. I turned to her and I wasn't sure why I was even explaining anything.
“Sloane? My best friend? Blonde with gianormous eyebrows?”
“The one who is dating that Gorgeous British guy?” Her words gave me an added disgust on top of what I saw in her room.
“... They’re not together anymore.”
“Don't get any ideas. She is out of your league..”
“That's not at all the case. We're just friends and I’m not.. Not really available. Neither is she.” Tightening the grip on the strap on my bag. “My uber is here, I’ve got to go.” Moving to the door, I was ready to be gone. I didn't think either of us would even say goodbye. She would just be present to see me leave. That was what usually happened..
“Hey..” She calls out. I pull the door open, step out on the front porch and turn to look back. She was right up on me before I could fully turn towards her. Hugging me at my side. “Be careful you hear?”
“Say huh?” This wasn't normal. I couldn't tell you the last time I got a hug. I barely can get words of encouragement from her. Part of me figured this to be a joke in progress. The punchline must be coming next. “Are you feeling okay?”
She pushed away, the hug was over. “I’m fine. Here..” She had my wallet. Plucking from it all the bills I had, she tosses it back to me. “Stop hugging people, stupid.”
I stood there stunned. She entered the house and slammed the door shut. Right in my face. After taking the money out of my wallet. “Did I just pay for a hug from my Mom or was I mugged?”
It was time to leave Georgia and head to Houston!
My Fan.
Now I don't want to lie to you, the reader and say that I was in a hurry to go see my Momma. I wasn't. Truth be told, if she hadn't called the Hospital while I was flirting with the cousin of sleep. I wouldn't be here at all. It wasn't still without hesitation.. I grabbed a Hotel near the Airport as soon as I landed and from there, I wanted to make sure I WAS being followed. I wanted to know that my Fan was still watching me.
November 26th
4:00 AM
“Well this is awkward..” We’re all human and at times we make mistakes. That's what I tried to tell myself as I sat in the passenger seat of an SUV with this poor guy who was slumped behind the wheel. I hit him a few times. Grabbing a handful of his hair, I lift and slam his face into the steering wheel. Not once but twice. Pausing only to stare into his face, I leaned over to get a better look. Blood drooling from his bottom lip, his nose split across the bridge. “Hey! You're not him..” I let him go and he slumped forward, ‘resting’ his head against the wheel. In the movies the horn would blare and get the attention of unwanted eyes. That didn't happen. He looked peaceful.
I felt bad but only a little. Is it MY fault he was driving an SUV and he just so happened to be parked outside of the hotel I was staying at. He even kind of looked like him so you can see where I could have made the mistake. It's not his fault he checked all the boxes but it sure isn't mine either! I should have noticed when I got into the vehicle and he screamed out like his soul got jump scared. It didn't even sound like the same guy but I didn't think about that until after the fact. “My bad. No hard feelings..”
I got out of the SUV, shut the passenger door and looked around. There were plenty of people around. Some were walking down the sidewalk on either side of the main street. Some sitting in cars parked along the curb or sitting at the four way traffic light down the way some. None of them notice what happened. Nobody saw it or they just didn't care. They just carried on with their lives and it was about time I did the same..
First things first, I subtweeted:
“I made an oops..” It was subtle and like those going on about their days, I was sure nobody would catch onto my meaning. Attempting to catch up with my Fan, I now needed to do something far more intense and concerning to my well being. I had to go see my Mother..
November 27th
North Decatur, GA
What I expected was about what happened when I got to my Mother's house. The place I grew up, my childhood home. I got cussed, yelled at, threatened and called a wide range of names because I ALLOWED myself to get stabbed. I could have told her the situation but I didn't. Why bother? She was set in her ways and it was almost her way of showing she cared and worried.
For most of that first day, I stayed in my room. Most of it has remained the same since I last lived here. Album covers I collected for a little while. I would glue them to the wall so there were at least 100 covers but they were spread around the walls and ceiling. My one dresser that I have had since middle school was now filled with extra clothes I could use when I come to visit. My old Stereo sits on top of it along with two books full of CDs. Albums and Mixes I burned on the computer. Those were the days..
I laid there on my bed listening to music. R&B and some older HipHop which was almost still where I was in music today. 90s and early 2000s were peak for both genres. In my ears were the sounds of great music but deeper into my head came a different tune of the mind. I was frustrated, confused. Finally able to settle down and let it hit me.
Why didn't she reach out?
Why didn't she come to see me?
“I’ma just call her..” Who was I even talking to? Popping up off the bed, I grabbed my phone. Why was I feeling like a teenager pacing in his bedroom, nervous about calling a girl? This was some boooshit. I wasn't a punk. “Yeah, I’ma do it!” Determined, I went to my contacts. There it was. “Josslynn.”
I hit call and spun the volume knob on the stereo down. Hearing it ring, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. My heart was racing and as I turned around, I flinched. “What the hell! You need to knock!”
“Say huh?” Her head cocks at an angle as she stands in my doorway in a big fuzzy purple robe. “Boy you better knock on wood for some luck next time you think to tell me what I NEED to do in my house!”
She didn't have a weapon of any kind in her hands. I looked and as I heard the ringing stop and Josslynn's voicemail pick up, I spoke out at random. Not thinking as I hung up the phone. “I pay the bills here..”
She held up her index finger and stepped out of the room. She even shut the door which was weird to me and then to my added surprise, she knocked on the door. I stood there confused. Was she being sarcastic or was she finally going to respect my boundaries? I knew better.
“Who is it?” Now who was being sarcastic? I laughed as I reached for the doorknob and opened my bedroom door. “Whoa!!” My reflexes were tested as a baseball bat came swinging downward at me! I stumbled back as she came in, winding the bat up at her side. She was going for a swing at bat! “Stop playing, Ma!”
“Who’s house is this?” She asks but I knew there was only one answer she would accept. She grabbed the bat and not a gun so maybe she was going easy on me.. Should I be grateful? “Go on.. Tell me!” She growls and cocks the bat up over her shoulder, switching to a side stance as if she was about to participate in a Homerun Derby.
“Yours. It's your House, Ma..”
She swung anyway!
THUD!
Right into my left outside shoulder. “Ow! That REAALLY Hurt!” I grabbed the sore spot with my right hand, holding it like there was an open wound. She couldn't just win, she had to have her cake and blow out the candles.
“So.. Where's your girlfriend?” Her random is the origin story to my own. I watched the bat return to her shoulder, held in a casual manner. “Joanne?”
“It’s Josslynn, Ma.. Josslynn!” I corrected her. She had only met her once, backstage at a show.
“That's what I said. Where is she?”
“You know we aren't together anymore.” I vividly remember her texting me about it after the breakup.
“Oh so you never made up?” Her eyebrows stood up. She was surprised by that and started to turn and leave the room. “Shame.. She seemed like a keeper. For you, I mean.”
I wasn't sure that was a compliment. “Tell me about it..” Stepping out into the hallway, she turns and faces me again.
“Well you can stay here for as long as you need to but uhh..” She grabs for the doorknob. “If you hear screaming or weird noises late at night. Mind you business, you hear?”
“That's haunting.. Say less.. Please..” I wanted to show my immaturity and stick my fingers in my ears to block out her voice. I wanted to avoid letting that information even register. She just laughed and pulled the door shut. “Tuesday. I leave for Houston on Tuesday.. I can make it.”
Present Day
Leaving Mom's
“Momma, I’m leaving!” I was already in the living room with my bag packed. Ready to leave in a hurry now that it was time to do so. I didn't hear any stirring in the back room. Thinking about it, I hadn't seen her all morning. I made coffee and watched some news. She was usually an early bird. “Yooo Ma!” I hollered out.
Stepping over my bag, I stepped into the hallway. It was a small house, 2 bedrooms, 1 bath. Just big enough for what she needed to live and raise her child. On the right side of the hallway was my room and up further was the bathroom. Across the bathroom at the end on the left was her room. The master bedroom.
Old wallpaper, some pictures along the walls and a huge cross at the far end of the hallway itself. Her bedroom door was cracked as I moved down closer to it. Easing it open, I remembered her warnings from the other day. I hadn't heard anything the night before but I fell asleep with earbuds in.
“Ohhh that's not right!”
I shouldn't have looked. I shouldn't have gone in there. On the bed with the sheets barely covering anything was a large hairy ass. I scurried back and pulled the door shut as the bathroom door behind me opened.
SMACK!
Her hand reached up and cracked me upside the back of my head. “I done told you to stay out of my room!”
“Ugh! So much hair.. I.. Nevermind, I don't wanna know.” I was scrambling to empty my brain of what I saw and what I knew had happened the night before. This is why Memory Erasers are of interest but to remove these thoughts, I’d risk electric shock therapy right now. If I had a quarter for everytime I have seen something I shouldn't have in this house.. I’d be a VIP member of the Fancy Pants People.
”He’s a real grizzly bear!”
”La La La can’t hear you!” I had to remove myself from near her room so I hurried back down the hall.
“Where are you off to now?” Her voice follows behind me.
“I told you. Houston. I have some business there.” Which was true. I had plans in place and I didn't want to waste any time. After the close call with being stabbed. Having a lung collapse, potentially dying. I was finding I had things I wanted to still do before I died and I sure wasn't planning to let the Fan win. “Oh before I forget.. Sloane says hello.”
“Who?” She asks as I stop in the living room and pick up my bag. I turned to her and I wasn't sure why I was even explaining anything.
“Sloane? My best friend? Blonde with gianormous eyebrows?”
“The one who is dating that Gorgeous British guy?” Her words gave me an added disgust on top of what I saw in her room.
“... They’re not together anymore.”
“Don't get any ideas. She is out of your league..”
“That's not at all the case. We're just friends and I’m not.. Not really available. Neither is she.” Tightening the grip on the strap on my bag. “My uber is here, I’ve got to go.” Moving to the door, I was ready to be gone. I didn't think either of us would even say goodbye. She would just be present to see me leave. That was what usually happened..
“Hey..” She calls out. I pull the door open, step out on the front porch and turn to look back. She was right up on me before I could fully turn towards her. Hugging me at my side. “Be careful you hear?”
“Say huh?” This wasn't normal. I couldn't tell you the last time I got a hug. I barely can get words of encouragement from her. Part of me figured this to be a joke in progress. The punchline must be coming next. “Are you feeling okay?”
She pushed away, the hug was over. “I’m fine. Here..” She had my wallet. Plucking from it all the bills I had, she tosses it back to me. “Stop hugging people, stupid.”
I stood there stunned. She entered the house and slammed the door shut. Right in my face. After taking the money out of my wallet. “Did I just pay for a hug from my Mom or was I mugged?”
It was time to leave Georgia and head to Houston!
