Post by Jayce Pierce on Dec 17, 2023 22:52:21 GMT -5
Drip. . . Drip . . . Drip. . .
went the sound of the leaky faucet there in my cell. I laid there looking up at the concrete walls and listening to that consistent sound. Thinking about life. Thinking about the choices I made that had landed me in prison - a second time. For the last twelve years I’ve had to live with these thoughts. All of the sudden though my concentration was broken by a very loud and booming voice.
“Inmate Pierce!”
I rolled over to my stomach. Peering right through the bars at the cell to see the very prison guard I had dealt with countless times over the years. So it wasn’t like this was an uncommon interaction. “What can I do for you boss?”
“Get your belongings together. I’ll be back in fifteen.”
“You got me switching cells again?!”
“No. You’re being released today.”
“Wait? What?” I am sure the shocked and confused look on my face said it all. My sentence was coming to an end soon. It just wasn’t today or even this month. “I’m not meant to be released until December.”
“Listen. It’s something to do with laws being passed and the prisons being overcrowded. It’s a call being made by the mayor and the state.” I watched as he shrugged his shoulders in such a nonchalant manner. “Like I said, get your things together. Or I’m sure there’s something I could charge you with to make you serve out the rest of your sentence if you’d like.”
“No, I’ll pass.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Such a smug smirk crossed his lips as he turned to walk away from my cell. Couldn’t help but mumble a single phrase out. “What a dick.” Thankfully, it wasn’t heard. That’s when I rolled out of my bunk. My feet hit that concrete floor and I just looked around for a second. It wasn’t like I had a lot, it was prison. However this all just seemed so real. This was August. I wasn’t meant to be going home for another four months. But, I guess this was a blessing and I should be more grateful.
However, leaving prison was a bit of a scary thought for me. After all, I had left once before and ended up right back here. For an even longer sentence. I couldn’t come back a third time. I’d no doubt die in this place if that was the case. At the same time though, I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. I didn’t know how to stay out of trouble. I didn’t know what all of this meant. Yet, it was something I was going to have to figure out soon enough.
In twenty four hours life had changed for me. One minute I was laying in a stiff bed surrounded by nothing but the concrete walls and bars of my cell. Waiting to serve out those last few months of my sentence. To now I was standing right outside the apartment complex where my daughter lived with her grandmother. Last time we saw each other was three years ago. In a moment where she couldn't stand seeing me behind in prison. It was a reminder of how out of her life I was.
But now I am out. Now I could be part of her life. Now I could be the big influence she needed. Sure, I understood she wasn’t a child anymore. In fact she was only a few months past her eighteenth birthday. However, as a young adult you need help still. You need guidance. I know I did. I took those couple of steps forward onto the porch, balled up my fist, and took a step back. Waiting patiently for the door to open.
Creek. . .
The sound of the older door as it came open. My eyes instantly locked with my daughter’s. There was silence amongst us. I could only imagine she was in pure shock of seeing me. I was just so happy to see her. That it had me choked up and a little lost for words.
“Madelyn!”
I found myself taking a step forward. The moment that I did. She proceeded to slam the door shut. Coming within an inch of smacking me in the face. I was completely thrown off guard by what had just happened. I couldn’t contain myself. I went to pound on the door but before I could. It swung open, but this time I wasn’t met with the appearance of my daughter. Instead it was her grandmother. She had quite the scowl on her expression.
“What are you doing here, Jayce?”
“Why else would I be here Gwen? I clearly came to see my daughter.”
“The daughter you haven’t seen or spoke to in the last three years?”
“That wasn't my doing. She said it was too painful to see me in there. She stopped coming. She stopped calling. She stopped answering the calls.”
“And there you are once again. Not looking at the bigger picture. Just worried about yourself. Like you have been since the day I met you.”
I wanted to say the most out of pocket thing I could to this old woman, but she didn’t give me a chance.
“If you stopped to think for a second. You would have seen the writing on the wall. You haven’t truly been in her life since she was six years old. You spent all this time in prison. You spent all this time missing out on her growing up. You don’t even know who she is. But you think you can just show up out of nowhere and everything is going to be all good.”
“Look, I have paid for my mistakes the last twelve years. I don’t need you reminding me of them.” My expression said it all. I wasn’t having all of that. “I get that I wasn’t around. But I have to start somewhere. That’s better than not trying at all, isn’t it?”
“Honestly Jayce. My suggestion would be to move on with your life. Let her live hers. Because she’s never going to forgive you for being an absent father. That’s your own fault.”
Not even giving me a chance to say a word. Before she herself aggressively shut the door herself. I stood there for a moment. A complete loss for words. I didn't expect this. Not even in the slightest, but this was the reality of the situation. Nothing I could do about it, at least not this momemt. With a heavy sigh escaping my lips I turned and stepped off the porch. As I began to walk down the roads I reached into my parking lot pulling out my phone. Pressing on the touch screen a few times and bringing it up to my ear. After a couple of rings from the otherside I heard a voice.
“Hey... I know I told you, I wasn't interested at first. But something has come up. I'm looking to blow off some steam. You still think you can get me in with that company you were telling me about?” I paused for a moment to hear the response. "Uh, what the Fudge? A secret Santa battle royal? ... Fudge it, let's make it happen. I need something to blow off some steam and a situation where I can punch someone in the face with no consequences!"
went the sound of the leaky faucet there in my cell. I laid there looking up at the concrete walls and listening to that consistent sound. Thinking about life. Thinking about the choices I made that had landed me in prison - a second time. For the last twelve years I’ve had to live with these thoughts. All of the sudden though my concentration was broken by a very loud and booming voice.
“Inmate Pierce!”
I rolled over to my stomach. Peering right through the bars at the cell to see the very prison guard I had dealt with countless times over the years. So it wasn’t like this was an uncommon interaction. “What can I do for you boss?”
“Get your belongings together. I’ll be back in fifteen.”
“You got me switching cells again?!”
“No. You’re being released today.”
“Wait? What?” I am sure the shocked and confused look on my face said it all. My sentence was coming to an end soon. It just wasn’t today or even this month. “I’m not meant to be released until December.”
“Listen. It’s something to do with laws being passed and the prisons being overcrowded. It’s a call being made by the mayor and the state.” I watched as he shrugged his shoulders in such a nonchalant manner. “Like I said, get your things together. Or I’m sure there’s something I could charge you with to make you serve out the rest of your sentence if you’d like.”
“No, I’ll pass.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Such a smug smirk crossed his lips as he turned to walk away from my cell. Couldn’t help but mumble a single phrase out. “What a dick.” Thankfully, it wasn’t heard. That’s when I rolled out of my bunk. My feet hit that concrete floor and I just looked around for a second. It wasn’t like I had a lot, it was prison. However this all just seemed so real. This was August. I wasn’t meant to be going home for another four months. But, I guess this was a blessing and I should be more grateful.
However, leaving prison was a bit of a scary thought for me. After all, I had left once before and ended up right back here. For an even longer sentence. I couldn’t come back a third time. I’d no doubt die in this place if that was the case. At the same time though, I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. I didn’t know how to stay out of trouble. I didn’t know what all of this meant. Yet, it was something I was going to have to figure out soon enough.
In twenty four hours life had changed for me. One minute I was laying in a stiff bed surrounded by nothing but the concrete walls and bars of my cell. Waiting to serve out those last few months of my sentence. To now I was standing right outside the apartment complex where my daughter lived with her grandmother. Last time we saw each other was three years ago. In a moment where she couldn't stand seeing me behind in prison. It was a reminder of how out of her life I was.
But now I am out. Now I could be part of her life. Now I could be the big influence she needed. Sure, I understood she wasn’t a child anymore. In fact she was only a few months past her eighteenth birthday. However, as a young adult you need help still. You need guidance. I know I did. I took those couple of steps forward onto the porch, balled up my fist, and took a step back. Waiting patiently for the door to open.
Creek. . .
The sound of the older door as it came open. My eyes instantly locked with my daughter’s. There was silence amongst us. I could only imagine she was in pure shock of seeing me. I was just so happy to see her. That it had me choked up and a little lost for words.
“Madelyn!”
I found myself taking a step forward. The moment that I did. She proceeded to slam the door shut. Coming within an inch of smacking me in the face. I was completely thrown off guard by what had just happened. I couldn’t contain myself. I went to pound on the door but before I could. It swung open, but this time I wasn’t met with the appearance of my daughter. Instead it was her grandmother. She had quite the scowl on her expression.
“What are you doing here, Jayce?”
“Why else would I be here Gwen? I clearly came to see my daughter.”
“The daughter you haven’t seen or spoke to in the last three years?”
“That wasn't my doing. She said it was too painful to see me in there. She stopped coming. She stopped calling. She stopped answering the calls.”
“And there you are once again. Not looking at the bigger picture. Just worried about yourself. Like you have been since the day I met you.”
I wanted to say the most out of pocket thing I could to this old woman, but she didn’t give me a chance.
“If you stopped to think for a second. You would have seen the writing on the wall. You haven’t truly been in her life since she was six years old. You spent all this time in prison. You spent all this time missing out on her growing up. You don’t even know who she is. But you think you can just show up out of nowhere and everything is going to be all good.”
“Look, I have paid for my mistakes the last twelve years. I don’t need you reminding me of them.” My expression said it all. I wasn’t having all of that. “I get that I wasn’t around. But I have to start somewhere. That’s better than not trying at all, isn’t it?”
“Honestly Jayce. My suggestion would be to move on with your life. Let her live hers. Because she’s never going to forgive you for being an absent father. That’s your own fault.”
Not even giving me a chance to say a word. Before she herself aggressively shut the door herself. I stood there for a moment. A complete loss for words. I didn't expect this. Not even in the slightest, but this was the reality of the situation. Nothing I could do about it, at least not this momemt. With a heavy sigh escaping my lips I turned and stepped off the porch. As I began to walk down the roads I reached into my parking lot pulling out my phone. Pressing on the touch screen a few times and bringing it up to my ear. After a couple of rings from the otherside I heard a voice.
“Hey... I know I told you, I wasn't interested at first. But something has come up. I'm looking to blow off some steam. You still think you can get me in with that company you were telling me about?” I paused for a moment to hear the response. "Uh, what the Fudge? A secret Santa battle royal? ... Fudge it, let's make it happen. I need something to blow off some steam and a situation where I can punch someone in the face with no consequences!"
