Post by pan on Dec 19, 2023 17:29:00 GMT -5
We see Pan and his newfound friend/student Luis Arroyo walking down the hall towards a hotel suite. Based on their garb and general disheveled manner, it’s clear they’ve both been training. Pan stops at a door and removes a key card from his duffel bag, then turns to Luis and says, You did real good today. I hope you know that.
But something in Luis doesn’t seem to jive with the comment, as though his mind is on something else. He draws in a far away look and discards it, licking his lips nervously before replying. I thought I did alright. But thanks for saying so.
Pan cants his head to the door. Well, I’m gonna get changed. You still up for those drinks later?
Um, sure.
Pan narrows his eyes at Luis. You okay? Look man, botching one top rope lariat doesn’t mean-
And suddenly, Luis closed the gap between himself and Pan, getting deep in the young man’s space and kissing him wantonly. Pan, surprised at first, settles into the passion of the moment and absent mindedly thrusts his key card into the reader. It blinks red and the door fails to open. Still kissing Luis, he looks over his shoulder at the card reader, frantically trying it again, but still to no avail. Pan breaks the embrace and sends Luis an apologetic look. These stupid things! Finally, he attempts the key card again and with a flash of green it’s go, go, go time.
Luis practically pushes Pan through the open door, kissing him hungrily and running his hands up Pan’s shirt, feeling the contours of his body. It’s not long after that that they’re a passionate whorl of discarded clothes, probing kisses and…well…
The shot returns to Pan and Luis in bed. Both of them glisten with a sheen of sweat. Luis seems to be taking a moment to recollect his breath. He smiles broadly and comments, That didn’t take long.
Pan smacks Luis’ chest. What do you mean by that?!
Luis chuckles. Not the sex. The sex was great. MORE than great. It just didn’t take long before we became something more than sparring partners.
Oh. Pan settles, and smiles. I suppose not.
Mr. Peter Pan, I do believe you have me under your spell. Luis reaches over and gently takes hold of the back of Pan’s head, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. And if this is some kind of enchantment, I’d rather it never end.
I promise I’m not enchanting you. Well, I AM enchanting you. Just the au naturale way.
So what’s next for us?
Pan wasn’t quite sure if Luis meant that figuratively or literally. He chose to interpret it literally. Less messy that way.
Next, we go get ourselves a Christmas tree.
Our view opens on a hard close up of a revving chainsaw, and pulls back to reveal that it’s being held by Pan with a nervous looking Luis standing a respectable distance away.
Are you sure you know how to use this thing?
Of course! What am I but a paragon of safety.
Luis doesn’t look convinced, and he winces as Pan gives the chainsaw another rev.
You know you won’t make it to Winter Wrestleland with one arm, right?
Pan puckers his lips in a kissy face at Luis before returning his attention to the tree. Ah, the tree. And a majestic thing it is.
Standing amidst a backdrop of its like minded brothers and sisters, the tree is coated with a fine dusting of snowy powder. Standing tall even amidst its prodigious peers, this tree is certainly something special.
Have you considered if the hotel is going to let us bring this thing in?
But Pan, who has the chainsaw going at full blast, only ekes out a What?! over the din before forgetting Luis’ question entirely and setting to work on the bottom of the tree. Luis can barely look as Pan cuts through the wood, but before long, and with nary an injury to be found, the tree slumps to the ground, creating a fine plume of snow as it strikes the Earth. Pan shuts off the chainsaw and looks at his handiwork smartly.
See, no injuries!
Thank God for that. There’s one other thing I’m concerned about though. Luis jerks his thumb in the direction of the camera. This isn’t exactly exciting TV, is it? Shouldn’t we be doing something…more?
Pan chuckles and shakes his head. Au contraire my sexy friend! This is PRECISELY what TPW needs. Why, just look at so many other promo packages and hype videos. What are they full of? Drama, sadness, angst. It’s all just MISERY PORN. But that’s not what I’M about. I’m about bringing some cheer, some merriment to Thunder Pro Wrestling. We don’t need anymore dour slices of life, or anymore paens to the egotistical or whatever it is that JMont does.
The downing of this Christmas tree is, in fact, a metatextual statement of what needs to change around here.
“A metatextual statement…?” Luis questions with a hint of mirth.
Don’t question it loverboy, just ride the ride with me. Pan looks around. I didn’t bring anything to tie this thing down with, did I?
Nope, I don’t think you did.
Ah hell. Pan scratched the back of his head underneath his Rudolph woven hat. Well, while I stall for time trying to figure a way out of this predicament, I might as well spare a few words for my esteemed opponent at Winter Wrestleland, Jake Keeton!
Jake, like I said on free TV, I am looking forward to this match with all my heart. The way I beat you never set quite right with me, and I am looking forward to the do over.
HOW-EV-ER! I think it’s important to point out that whether it was me or pseudo “legend” extraordinaire, Rob Williams (who’s below us on the card, natch!) you were the one who was going to lose that match. In other words my grumpy friend, you were the weak link. And hey, that’s no biggie. We’re all the weak link at something. I’m the weak link at scarfing down arena hotdogs compared to my good friend and sexy times companion Luis.
Really? REALLY?! Luis says with some consternation.
It’s true boo boo. Own it! Pan smiles and waggles his fingers playfully at Luis as Luis averts his gaze from the camera in embarrassment.
I also want to give you a fair warning Jake Keeton. Please don’t take my kindness for weakness. I know you old school guys have a penchant for doing that. But this match? It may only be the second match on the card but it matters a lot. In fact, a little bird told me that the boss man is going to be watching this match for inspiration in deciding future championship contenders. Meaning one of us just might be face to face with oh say…picking a name out of a hat….that colossal sack of douche JMont. And that is an opportunity I will simply not allow to slip through my fingers.
Savvy?
And let's face facts, Jakey-bo-bakey, you slung a lot of talk about being a better wrestler than me and Rob Williams when you're the one who ended up in the lurch. Are you still going to insist on peddling that? Or did you learn some well earned humility in that match? Your answer will demarcate whether you're a wise man or an aging fool, Jake.
Pan stops to breathe in some cool air before proceeding.
From where I'm standing I've already defeated two industry veterans and one “legend” and I'm just getting started baby! This match is just one more foothold, one more grasp on my way to the top. But that doesn't mean I want to leave you behind. Because I will say this for you though. You seem to be a good father. And in my line of work I don't see enough of those. You're a decent man Jake, if not a little rough around the edges. So I'm going to make you an offer. Win or lose in this match, would you like to team with me in the SEX cup? I'd ask Luis but he says he's not ready.
Pan shoots a pointed look in the others direction. Luis returns it and says I'm not ready yet, Pan!
Pan sighs but doesn't respond, instead returning his focus to the camera.
So, what’ll it be? I’ll give you ample time to respond. But in the meantime, don’t expect easy goings at Winter Wrestleland. I know I’m not. And there is wisdom in preparing for a rocky road ahead.
He looks to the downed tree and then to Luis.
Okay, let’s cram this thing in the car before somebody comes home.
Pan looks over his shoulder and the camera spins about to reveal they are, in fact, in someones backyard.
Yes, let’s.
The shot open on a grand sight. Sort of. Luis and Pan’s Christmas tree is now standing bright in their Toronto area hotel suite. It glistens with…well…rapidly made tinfoil “ornaments” and a star made out of a silvery fast food wrapper as a topper. Pan, hands on his hips, considers their handiwork.
Not bad.
He moves to turn away from the tree, but wheels around when he senses some movement behind him. The tree gives a quiver, and then a shake, and then against all logic and reason, a seven foot tall BEING steps out of it!
Gah! Pan gives a start and places a hand on his chest, but soon settles. Wodeword you scared the crap out of me.
Pan, we need to talk. The creature has an august voice, gravely and as old as time. You’re endangering your mission with your recklessness.
Well hello to you too, old friend.
I’m serious, Pan. Tinkerbell told me about this boy you’re galavanting around with. This…Luis.
Yeah, well, Tink’s a worry wart. I’ve got this under control.
The boy says he knows you. From when he was a child. Wodeword takes a seat on the bed, and it buckles beneath his weight. We both know that’s not possible. You should have done away with him.
I’m not killing him!
Then you should have parted from him when you had the chance. The children of Neverland are more important than some petty fling, Pan. And if he found out the truth he wouldn’t understand.
Pan wheeled away from Wodeword, a sudden expression of concern etched on his face. The…the truth…
Yes. THE TRUTH. The truth of how…
No, just STOP. Pan wheels back towards the fey creature, hands spread wide as though he was fending off the being’s words. Enough!
Wodeword sighs, and it sounds like wind rattling through the willows. Even you still cannot accept the truth. A shame.
Look, you should go, okay? Luis will be back any moment and…
Speak of the devil. Pan hears the subtle beep of the keycard in the lock, and the door yawns open. Pan turns from the door to Wodeword, but the creature has already vanished. Luis looks at Pan strangely as he enters.
Were you talking to someone in here?
Pan smiles nervously. Just myself! Admiring our tree!
Oh. Well it could use a bit more sprucing up, don’t you think? How about we go get some real ornaments, eh?
Oh…uh…sure! Let me get my jacket.
Pan looks at the tree one last time as he retrieves his coat, taking note of the deep set eyes within it before they close and are enveloped in the tree’s branches.
The dulcet tones of Dean Martin’s “Silver Bells” echo throughout the department store. Before us is a row of big screen TV’s showing the last episode of Friday Night Fury. Pan’s image is splashed across all the screens. And, standing and musing over the images, is a man who cuts an intimidating mein. He’s tall and broadshouldered, wearing a long coat that dips down past his ankles. His face bespeaks a hard life, etched as it is with creases and subtle scars.
And then, of course, there is the wicked looking prosthetic hook in place of a left hand.
A member of the sales team approaches the imposing man slowly, taking note of the hook before forcing himself to look at the man’s face.
Um, can I help you?
The man points his good hand at the screen before him. I know this boy. What is this program?
Oh, it’s Thunder Pro Wrestling. It’s pretty good.
So I can find this boy at this “Thunder Pro Wrestling”?
The clerk looks befuddled. I suppose so. He wrestles for them.
Without another word, the man turns away from the clerk curtly and heads down the aisle, looking very much like he’s on a mission.
But something in Luis doesn’t seem to jive with the comment, as though his mind is on something else. He draws in a far away look and discards it, licking his lips nervously before replying. I thought I did alright. But thanks for saying so.
Pan cants his head to the door. Well, I’m gonna get changed. You still up for those drinks later?
Um, sure.
Pan narrows his eyes at Luis. You okay? Look man, botching one top rope lariat doesn’t mean-
And suddenly, Luis closed the gap between himself and Pan, getting deep in the young man’s space and kissing him wantonly. Pan, surprised at first, settles into the passion of the moment and absent mindedly thrusts his key card into the reader. It blinks red and the door fails to open. Still kissing Luis, he looks over his shoulder at the card reader, frantically trying it again, but still to no avail. Pan breaks the embrace and sends Luis an apologetic look. These stupid things! Finally, he attempts the key card again and with a flash of green it’s go, go, go time.
Luis practically pushes Pan through the open door, kissing him hungrily and running his hands up Pan’s shirt, feeling the contours of his body. It’s not long after that that they’re a passionate whorl of discarded clothes, probing kisses and…well…
****REDACTED FOR THE SENSITIVE AMONGST US****
The shot returns to Pan and Luis in bed. Both of them glisten with a sheen of sweat. Luis seems to be taking a moment to recollect his breath. He smiles broadly and comments, That didn’t take long.
Pan smacks Luis’ chest. What do you mean by that?!
Luis chuckles. Not the sex. The sex was great. MORE than great. It just didn’t take long before we became something more than sparring partners.
Oh. Pan settles, and smiles. I suppose not.
Mr. Peter Pan, I do believe you have me under your spell. Luis reaches over and gently takes hold of the back of Pan’s head, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. And if this is some kind of enchantment, I’d rather it never end.
I promise I’m not enchanting you. Well, I AM enchanting you. Just the au naturale way.
So what’s next for us?
Pan wasn’t quite sure if Luis meant that figuratively or literally. He chose to interpret it literally. Less messy that way.
Next, we go get ourselves a Christmas tree.
LATER…
Are you sure you know how to use this thing?
Of course! What am I but a paragon of safety.
Luis doesn’t look convinced, and he winces as Pan gives the chainsaw another rev.
You know you won’t make it to Winter Wrestleland with one arm, right?
Pan puckers his lips in a kissy face at Luis before returning his attention to the tree. Ah, the tree. And a majestic thing it is.
Standing amidst a backdrop of its like minded brothers and sisters, the tree is coated with a fine dusting of snowy powder. Standing tall even amidst its prodigious peers, this tree is certainly something special.
Have you considered if the hotel is going to let us bring this thing in?
But Pan, who has the chainsaw going at full blast, only ekes out a What?! over the din before forgetting Luis’ question entirely and setting to work on the bottom of the tree. Luis can barely look as Pan cuts through the wood, but before long, and with nary an injury to be found, the tree slumps to the ground, creating a fine plume of snow as it strikes the Earth. Pan shuts off the chainsaw and looks at his handiwork smartly.
See, no injuries!
Thank God for that. There’s one other thing I’m concerned about though. Luis jerks his thumb in the direction of the camera. This isn’t exactly exciting TV, is it? Shouldn’t we be doing something…more?
Pan chuckles and shakes his head. Au contraire my sexy friend! This is PRECISELY what TPW needs. Why, just look at so many other promo packages and hype videos. What are they full of? Drama, sadness, angst. It’s all just MISERY PORN. But that’s not what I’M about. I’m about bringing some cheer, some merriment to Thunder Pro Wrestling. We don’t need anymore dour slices of life, or anymore paens to the egotistical or whatever it is that JMont does.
The downing of this Christmas tree is, in fact, a metatextual statement of what needs to change around here.
“A metatextual statement…?” Luis questions with a hint of mirth.
Don’t question it loverboy, just ride the ride with me. Pan looks around. I didn’t bring anything to tie this thing down with, did I?
Nope, I don’t think you did.
Ah hell. Pan scratched the back of his head underneath his Rudolph woven hat. Well, while I stall for time trying to figure a way out of this predicament, I might as well spare a few words for my esteemed opponent at Winter Wrestleland, Jake Keeton!
Jake, like I said on free TV, I am looking forward to this match with all my heart. The way I beat you never set quite right with me, and I am looking forward to the do over.
HOW-EV-ER! I think it’s important to point out that whether it was me or pseudo “legend” extraordinaire, Rob Williams (who’s below us on the card, natch!) you were the one who was going to lose that match. In other words my grumpy friend, you were the weak link. And hey, that’s no biggie. We’re all the weak link at something. I’m the weak link at scarfing down arena hotdogs compared to my good friend and sexy times companion Luis.
Really? REALLY?! Luis says with some consternation.
It’s true boo boo. Own it! Pan smiles and waggles his fingers playfully at Luis as Luis averts his gaze from the camera in embarrassment.
I also want to give you a fair warning Jake Keeton. Please don’t take my kindness for weakness. I know you old school guys have a penchant for doing that. But this match? It may only be the second match on the card but it matters a lot. In fact, a little bird told me that the boss man is going to be watching this match for inspiration in deciding future championship contenders. Meaning one of us just might be face to face with oh say…picking a name out of a hat….that colossal sack of douche JMont. And that is an opportunity I will simply not allow to slip through my fingers.
Savvy?
And let's face facts, Jakey-bo-bakey, you slung a lot of talk about being a better wrestler than me and Rob Williams when you're the one who ended up in the lurch. Are you still going to insist on peddling that? Or did you learn some well earned humility in that match? Your answer will demarcate whether you're a wise man or an aging fool, Jake.
Pan stops to breathe in some cool air before proceeding.
From where I'm standing I've already defeated two industry veterans and one “legend” and I'm just getting started baby! This match is just one more foothold, one more grasp on my way to the top. But that doesn't mean I want to leave you behind. Because I will say this for you though. You seem to be a good father. And in my line of work I don't see enough of those. You're a decent man Jake, if not a little rough around the edges. So I'm going to make you an offer. Win or lose in this match, would you like to team with me in the SEX cup? I'd ask Luis but he says he's not ready.
Pan shoots a pointed look in the others direction. Luis returns it and says I'm not ready yet, Pan!
Pan sighs but doesn't respond, instead returning his focus to the camera.
So, what’ll it be? I’ll give you ample time to respond. But in the meantime, don’t expect easy goings at Winter Wrestleland. I know I’m not. And there is wisdom in preparing for a rocky road ahead.
He looks to the downed tree and then to Luis.
Okay, let’s cram this thing in the car before somebody comes home.
Pan looks over his shoulder and the camera spins about to reveal they are, in fact, in someones backyard.
Yes, let’s.
MORE LATER…
Not bad.
He moves to turn away from the tree, but wheels around when he senses some movement behind him. The tree gives a quiver, and then a shake, and then against all logic and reason, a seven foot tall BEING steps out of it!
Gah! Pan gives a start and places a hand on his chest, but soon settles. Wodeword you scared the crap out of me.
Pan, we need to talk. The creature has an august voice, gravely and as old as time. You’re endangering your mission with your recklessness.
Well hello to you too, old friend.
I’m serious, Pan. Tinkerbell told me about this boy you’re galavanting around with. This…Luis.
Yeah, well, Tink’s a worry wart. I’ve got this under control.
The boy says he knows you. From when he was a child. Wodeword takes a seat on the bed, and it buckles beneath his weight. We both know that’s not possible. You should have done away with him.
I’m not killing him!
Then you should have parted from him when you had the chance. The children of Neverland are more important than some petty fling, Pan. And if he found out the truth he wouldn’t understand.
Pan wheeled away from Wodeword, a sudden expression of concern etched on his face. The…the truth…
Yes. THE TRUTH. The truth of how…
No, just STOP. Pan wheels back towards the fey creature, hands spread wide as though he was fending off the being’s words. Enough!
Wodeword sighs, and it sounds like wind rattling through the willows. Even you still cannot accept the truth. A shame.
Look, you should go, okay? Luis will be back any moment and…
Speak of the devil. Pan hears the subtle beep of the keycard in the lock, and the door yawns open. Pan turns from the door to Wodeword, but the creature has already vanished. Luis looks at Pan strangely as he enters.
Were you talking to someone in here?
Pan smiles nervously. Just myself! Admiring our tree!
Oh. Well it could use a bit more sprucing up, don’t you think? How about we go get some real ornaments, eh?
Oh…uh…sure! Let me get my jacket.
Pan looks at the tree one last time as he retrieves his coat, taking note of the deep set eyes within it before they close and are enveloped in the tree’s branches.
ELSEWHERE…
And then, of course, there is the wicked looking prosthetic hook in place of a left hand.
A member of the sales team approaches the imposing man slowly, taking note of the hook before forcing himself to look at the man’s face.
Um, can I help you?
The man points his good hand at the screen before him. I know this boy. What is this program?
Oh, it’s Thunder Pro Wrestling. It’s pretty good.
So I can find this boy at this “Thunder Pro Wrestling”?
The clerk looks befuddled. I suppose so. He wrestles for them.
Without another word, the man turns away from the clerk curtly and heads down the aisle, looking very much like he’s on a mission.
