3 Nights of Christmas

I could tell something was bothering her even as she was mixing the ingredients for whatever pie she was preparing to bake. Getting ready for Christmas at her Mother's house, Sloane was keeping herself busy. She has been obsessed with Taylor Swift music as of late and I could guess that it's because Tay Tay knows a thing or two about break ups. My Bestie had a lot of reason to be bummed out but I knew that Sebastian Everett-Bryce was the deepest rooted sadness that she was dealing with. There wasn't much I could say or do to change that, I’m not sure I wanted to try. I still had some pains from my own breakup and that was months ago..

Sloane was making an attempt to carry on. Trying her best to push through the agony of her mind. To shift through the pains that weighed heavy in her thoughts but still, she kept a smile. Forced or not, it was there. I caught myself staring. I envied her ability to put the stress to the side. Noticing me staring, she waited for me to say something.

“Why not just buy pies at the store like regular people?” It was the first thing I thought to say. The look she gave me was of disturbance. As if I had asked her the worst possible question.

“Hand me one of those..” Her eyes shifted to the stack of premade crusts. “Store bought isn't as good. Wait until you’ve tasted my pie, you’ll see!”

She didn't notice how awkward her words were but maybe I’m just immature.. I smiled and she didn't notice at all, she was in a zone! She was in full fledged bake mode. “What about like a blackberry cobbler? Or.. Or.. Banana Cream?”

“Nope. I have a Cinnamon Apple with Maple Whipped Cream. Bourbon chocolate Pecan, a few Pumpkin and some mini cookie butter cheesecake.”

“Sounds fancy..”

Waving me off at my consistent reference to her being of a certain etiquette. She goes back to the preparation of various pies and a cheesecake for the upcoming Christmas dinner. “You sure I should be going? To your Mom’s I mean.” Questioning it because there was some weirdness to it, not just for me but everyone who would be there.

Again, she gives me a look from over her shoulder. “You are technically my Husband, are you not?”

“I mean.. I don't remember saying I do but there is paperwork that says I did so..” Still trying to grab any trace of a memory of the Vegas events, I came up with nothing. “At least until after the New Year anyway!”

Nodding, she didn't make any argument to my response. It was the truth but I think for both of us, there could have been worse people to wake up married to. “Then you're going.” She stepped back from the counter and pulled open the oven. Bending over right in my view so she could put a few pies in to bake. I lost whatever concerns I had in my head for the moment..



It was beginning to look a lot like Christmas.. Yet I wasn't really feeling the spirit to be celebrating. I had been invited weeks prior so I had planned on coming but since the invitation, a lot has changed.

Still..

It was a beautifully organized event! There were decorations from floor to roof in every room you could explore. The main hall had an enormous tree that grabbed your visual attention! There were presents wrapped along the walls, I checked, they were just decorations. That was the first glaring stare I got from Cassandra Savage and I expected there would be more before I leave..

Big fan of the Savages though. Tony was my doood and Cassandra? Well, Cassandra was kind of scary in a too smart for everyone else's own good. Lovely woman though!

They had elves as waiters. They had a Santa so that the adults could sit on his lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas. I imagine after a few drinks, that would get out of hand. Santa doesn't deliver THOSE kinds of toys.. Maybe he does, he does carry a big sack. Nevertheless, I’m zoning out in my own thoughts as I sat and just watched people enjoy the festivities.

“What's wrong?” Her voice kind of jolted me out of my own head. Sloane's eyes looked into mine but it was her bright red lipstick that matched her dress that truly popped her whole look. She was stunning. Of course I couldn't say that, she’s my wife.

“I don't belong here..” I probably could have said that better. I tried to belong but even the table where I was sitting told me I didn't. The name tag where I was in front of me said ‘Sebastian’. This was where he was supposed to be sitting. It wasn't the name placement that was bothering me though. “I feel like we're trying to force ourselves to wear a smile.”

The joy in her face diminished a little. “You want to leave?” She said as her hand laid across the arm of my hoodie.

“No.” Pushing up from the chair, I snatched the name tag on the table and tossed it over my shoulder. “I just need some air..” Leaning down, I kiss the top of Sloane's head. NO IDEA why, it just happened and immediately I felt that awkwardness appear. Like it's dehydrated and in these moments, the weirdness gets to quench its thirst.

Getting myself away from the crowd was no simple task. I dodged running into Austin Ramsey, I wasn't wanting to deal with the banter right now. There were a few familiar faces and all of them were dressed to impress while I was in a black hoodie, some jeans to match and some sneakers. Putting the crowd behind me, I find myself in one of the main hallways. It led to the kitchen as well as the bathrooms on this floor. Having been here before, I knew it also led to the balcony. That's where I wanted to be and beelined it for the doors.

Stopping because I thought I heard my name. It was hard to get a clear listen on anything. The voices of conversation and the Christmas music rolling like thunder through the floors and walls. I saw nobody approaching or looking my way and yet she stood out. Between the moving parts of the crowds, her red dress and blonde hair stood out like the sore thumb I thought I was being here.

“This is like Stockholm syndrome.. Has to be..”

I shook my head and pushed through the doors. The night breeze slapped against my face but it kind of felt good. Felt freeing in a way. What the hoodie provided was comfort in the cold and storage in the big pocket pouch at the front. I kept a lighter and a few pre rolls on hand. Sparking one up, it was what I felt was needed. It eased my worries, removed the guilt just enough and just let mellowness take over and all of that is something to celebrate..

After the first cone was at its end, I had sold myself on another. Get good and high I told myself! Then the door opened and I was no longer alone in my created environment of tranquility.

“It's cold out here!” Sloane says as she hugs herself, hands against her bare arms, rubbing along her skin to generate heat.

“So go back inside..”

“Okay, fine. Come with me.” She responded. Plucking the roach end of the cone from my fingers so she could take a hit. Her nails were like roach clips..

“Toss that..” I tell her as I pull out the second cone from my hoodie pouch. “Here..” I offer it to her so she can light it. She didn't seem the type to smoke and wasn't the type until she met me and we had our first match together. Even now though, she looks like the type to take small puffs and overreact a high with a bundle of giggles.

After lighting the cone, Sloane returns my lighter to me. With a lungful of smoke, she manages to break the ice a bit more. “So what's wrong?” Taking another pull on the cone, she passes it to me.

“Nothing.. Just.. recharging a bit I guess.” With every word spoken, smoke flows from my lips as I hand the cone back to her. She takes it, hits it once more and then waves me off after returning it to me. An indicator that she didn't want anymore.

“Recharging from what? Being around me?”

I almost gave myself whiplash with how I snapped a look to her. “No.. I mean.. No but yeah.”

She sat down on one of the chairs that were out on the balcony. Checking it beforehand to see if it was wet. It would have been funny if she sat in a wet spot.. I let the idea give me a grin and she must have noticed.

“Nobody asked you to stick around, Jason..” She didn't sound upset, just maybe disappointed.

“Not like that!” I sat up in my chair, pinching the burning head on the cone before flicking its heat over the railing. I put the rest of it back into my hoodie pocket. “It's just..”

“It's just what?” Now she sounded demanding. Even her eyebrows curled a bit to express that better.

“You weren't supposed to be in Vegas..” I tried to say it under my breath. “You were supposed to stay away..” There was more volume to that and I didn't dare look at her to see her reaction. She was no doubt going to take it the wrong way. “You were supposed to be safe.”

“Safe?!” She blurted out. “Safe? So if I stayed in Chicago then what would have happened if those guys broke in?”

I laughed. She wasn't as innocent as she looked. She wasn't a damsel in distress as some might assume she was and here she was trying to play the role.

“They’d find that the Final Girl aka the Bubblegum Princess lived there and they messed up!”

A smile crept across her face. She really did have a beautiful smile.. I hate being a sucker for a good smile but here we are and it became a focus as I looked over at her. Not wanting to linger with my stare, I kept talking.

“Listen.. You are my best friend. If you want me to spend the night for the next year because it makes you feel safe or adds comfort, I’m there. No questions asked.. But..”

She gave no pause. “But what?”

“I wonder if I am here because of my own guilt that I didn't make sure you stayed away from me..”

I should have looked away. I didn't want to see that look spread across her face. The color drained some, her eyebrows dropped down so low I thought they were going to fall off her face. That was a look of sadness without needing to pout. It made me feel like a villain.

“Fine.” She sniffled and kept herself from letting tears form in her eyes. I could guess she was all cried out. “Will you at least attend this party with me? When we get back, you can leave. I won't bother you anymore..”

“That's not..” She didn't want to hear anymore as she stood up and turned to head back inside. “Damnit!” I chased after her. Grabbing the door before it shut, I stepped inside and had to jog a bit to catch up to her. She made it to the entry of the main hall. I grabbed her arm and spun her around. “Sloane!”

You know that awkward moment when the music just happens to stop or it's between songs and everyone in the room hears you and turns their heads? This was that moment. Even as the next song started to play, Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer was just background noise at this point. “Can we talk?” I whispered to her, hoping she would agree and follow me away from the viewing crowd.

“Yoooo! Loook!” I couldn't tell who it was that shouted out but I could see a few fingers pointing above my head. Looking up, I saw exactly what people were pointing at.

A Mistletoe.

Right above our heads. I looked down at Sloane and she was upset but also a bit mad. She was gaining thick skin from all that has been happening and I was almost grateful for it. Not sure I wanted to see her cry on account of me. “Come on, come talk to me..” I held out a hand for her to take.

Thank GAWD for people's short attention span so when some elf waiter dropped a whole tray of drinks. The sound tore the attention off of us like wrapping paper. Sloane stared at me for another moment before she turned and walked away.

“It's gonna be a loooong flight home..”



As predicted, the flight was a long one. Quiet. Sloane spent as much time as she could trying to sleep. She didn't even sit in the same general area as I did on the plane. A Private plane that she has some sort of ownership in. I tried to make a joke about her being fancy but it fell on deaf ears.

To kill time, I played my usual petty prick self on social media. Trying to put on a mask and not show what really was going on away from the timeline. I watched a movie or two and played some games on my phone. To make matters worse, the drive to her apartment was even worse. She was giving me the silent treatment. As the driver pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment, she immediately opened the door and got out. Even the driver noticed and snickered as I got out. “Good luck buddy!”

“Thanks..” I shut the door and heard a voice I haven't heard since before we got on the plane.

“He was supposed to wait for you.” Turning to face her, I must have given her a confused look. “Stop him!” Nodding at the uber as it drove away. “He was paid to wait for you and take you back to the airport!”

“Where am I going?” I asked but I knew what she was getting at.

“Somewhere not here. That's what you want right? Time to recharge from being around me?”

She scoffed and headed up the stairs leading to her front door. I followed because I wasn't going anyway regardless of what she was saying. At the top of the stairs where she was supposed to unlock her door, she stood in place, frozen. “What?” I asked as I came up to her side. “Maaaaaail tiiime!”

I made the reference to Blue’s Clues seeing the envelope taped to the front of her door. It didn't have an address or any other postage on it. Instead, just a name. Mine.

“One of my many suitors, I’m sure..” She didn't really respond to my sense of humor. My ‘wife’ was mad at me, go figure. Plucking the envelope free of the door, I open it up. Sloane unlocks the door and seemingly no longer cares about the letter as we enter her apartment. “Let's see who it's from!”

“I’ll get you another uber after I get out of the shower..” Such sass in her voice as she trots towards the back bedroom.

“I’m not going anywhere though so don't bother..” Looking from her down to the letter, all my alarms started going off. “Wait!” I called her with a growl to my voice but couldn't take my eyes off the letter.

“What..” She sighs and turns back towards me. I assume she recognized my stance, my stare at the paper in my hand. She had to have noticed because in seconds she was in front of me and grabbed my hands as they shook. “What is it?”

She took the mail from me. I was stuck. I didn't know what to do. “It's him.. My fan..”

Once upon a time, mostly in Hollywood I would imagine. When a stalker sends a letter to the stalkee or when a ransom letter was sent out. It wouldn't be in written words but cut outs from magazines. Whole words or letters glued to a page to spell out the letter intended. This was very much that..

“Who even gets magazines anymore?” I questioned it because it without question made the letter more creepy. It was a good question to ask as the last time I picked up a magazine was in the waiting room at the Doctor's office. Sloane didn't share my curiosity about magazines as she simply read the letter out loud.

“Marriage is a sacred bond that ties two people together to share the other's fate. Congratulations!”

We let the room fall silent for a moment. I let it make me angry, I let it get to me. Snatching the letter from Sloane, I went to the couch and started gathering my belongings. What I had with me which fit inside of a backpack.

“What are you doing?!” Sloane asked with a soft touch to her voice. I barely heard her if I’m being honest, I was fuming. “HEY!” She shoved me to get my attention.

“What?!” I snapped back.

“What are you doing?” She asked again.

“Leaving.. Like you wanted. Just stay away from me, ok? I’ll fix this..” I hated having to say that. I hated her having to hear it but it felt like the only way.

“No!”

I paused. Letting my bag fall to the couch, I turned to face her.

“No?”

“You're going to talk to me, Jason.” She steps closer before leaning down and picking up the letter I had let drop on the floor. “About this and why you want me to leave you alone..”

I should have lied. At least tried.. She claims she can tell when I am lying but I’m a good liar damnit! That's a debate for another time but here and now, at this moment? I didn't want to lie to her, I wanted to tell someone. With that letter and what he could mean by it? She might need to know now..

So I told her. I told her about how this ‘Fan’ has been a step ahead at every turn. Even back at the Hospital, he came to visit. At the strip club in Houston, he got the jump on me. I told her how he took pictures of my Sisters, of her, of Josslynn and even my Mother.. Telling me how easy it is to get close to people when they don't feel the presence of danger. I told her everything I could remember and why I didn't want her in Vegas.

“You weren't supposed to be there..” I hated letting my guard down. “When I woke up in the hospital.. I expected–”

“Josslynn.” Sloane finished the sentence for me. It kind of made it more real at that point.

“Yeah. She didn't call, text, or anything. Instead I woke up to thick eyebrows looking at me..”

I let out a sigh. It still bothered me because I loved Josslynn, still love her and when she wasn't there, I wanted to be alone. I felt lost all over again and I was mad at myself about it. Sloane refused to let me stay self hating. “And that smile of yours.. But you dropped everything you had going on with Seb, your Father and still you came but she..”

Flashing it a bit, she didn't let it fully form. “I’m sorry she wasn't there.”

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that this friendship and our.. Marriage made things even worse for you.. With everything in general. I wanted to handle this on my own. That's why I went to Vegas. I went for information!”

“And? Did you get any?” Her curious face added a wrinkle across her nose like she was about to do an ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ magic trick.

“I did. He takes his contracts out of a PO Box in Montana..”

That was all I had so far. That was everything I could tell her because it was all I knew myself. After a moment of thought, she bounced her shoulders in a shrug. “I guess I’ll have to play Bodyguard a bit longer!”

Geezus help me..



It was infectious, the Holiday spirit. Maybe it was the weight I felt coming off my shoulders after telling Sloane everything that I was trying to enjoy the moment. At least for a while, the trip to Nina’s was nice. The problem is that no good stays good with me around. That's almost science..

I had been surrounded by awkwardness for a while now. Even before Vegas and with all that 2023 had given me as a dealt hand? I wasn't going to be one of those people who thought the year on a calendar would change anything.

It wasn't the first time I have been to Nina’s house. Sloane had been staying here for a bit earlier in the year when she and Seb were both dealing with ‘Daddy issues’. His issues were just too important to be there for hers so I filled the void. I guess looking around, you could argue I was once again doing the same.

While everyone was gathered around the tree, I watched from near the front door. Nina started passing out presents like everyone had just woken up and ran downstairs as is seen in most stories about Christmas morning. I had only seen this maybe once before now, never as a kid myself. There was a magic to the feeling even sitting outside of it and just being a spectator.

It had to be weird for Sloane. Nina, her boyfriend, her biological Father and her Sister, Cynara. Oh and Seb’s Grandfather who Sloane said is like her Grandfather. All inside of a home that Sloane and Seb bought for Nina, celebrating a Holiday for Family and I just can't shake the fact that I should be the one in a hotel room alone, not Seb.

That was when I grabbed my jacket and started to head outside. Just like at the Savage Christmas Party, I needed some air.

“Oh no mister!” Her scolding but playful pitched voice calls out and I knew she was talking to me. “Where do you think you're going?!” Turning to face the noise, Sloane Taylor stands in front of me.

“Need some air..”

“Oh, you need to rEcHaRgE again?” She tried to mock me but she was wearing her smile like the world around us wasn't on fire. I wasn't sure how she did it. “My Dad has a present for you!”

“Say huh? Why?”

I wasn't really questioning the present part. I questioned why Sloane linked her arm into mine and tried to lead me back to the living room. It sent the wrong message to anyone who saw it. Immediately my theory was correct as I felt Bastian’s eyes before I actually saw them staring at me. I pulled myself free of Sloane's link as Patrick, who is dressed up head to toe as Santa, approaches with a gift in hand.

“Ho! Ho! Ho! MERRY CHRISTMAS!” His jolly was terrible but he was trying and I was glad to see the attempt. He wasn't a bad guy, he has just had some bad luck in life. “I come bearing gifts!”

“You shouldn't have..” I responded with drawn out dread in my voice. He smiled more, noticing it.

“Open it! I wanna see!”

Sloane was more excited than needed. I surely wasn't going to shred through the wrapping paper like some anxious kid unable to control myself. It was a gift I didn't ask for or expect from someone who doesn't know anything about me to know what might be a good gift to give me. ”Alright..

Moment of truth.. I let the wrapping paper fall to the floor and hold a box with a lid. It had no logos or any indication what might be inside. I look up to meet Patrick’s stare back at me before I lift the lid. “Oof..”

Sloane’s whole demeanor changes from excited to she is gone. Like, she just walked away as I pulled from the box a bottle of Moonshine. Santa Patrick standing as tall and proud as he could was all smiles as if he understood the joke. Out of my peripheral to the right, near the front door, I turn to see Cynara laughing as she falls into the door itself.

“Did I get the gift wrong?” Patrick looks from Cyn back to me. He wasn't sure what was going on. “I even paid for it to be bottled in an old Prohibition, Speakeasy bottle.”

“The gift is fine..” Shaking my head as I turn away from Cynara. “Lemme guess, Cyn told you to get this?”

His gaze returns to his dark haired Daughter as she hurries outside with Jack Graves. Back on me, he nods. “Yeah, she said you had a taste for it?” Scoffing, he adds. “Did I get punk’d? Did she prank me?”

Laughing at his reference. “No, it was Moonshine that Sloane and I drank the night we..” My hesitation was either because I didn't want to say it or I wasn't sure who all knew about it. Another voice finished the sentence though.

“Got married!” Both Patrick and I turn to see Kit Taylor, Sloane’s younger Brother approaching from the side.

“What he said..” I nodded towards Kit to confirm my agreement with what had taken place. “Allegedly.” I added because again, I don't remember.

“Not that it matters.” Kit stood at the side of us. “I heard my Sister say that the Annulment will be taken care of after the New Year..”

“Yerrp!” I was again in full agreement with what Kit was saying. We haven't had many interactions so I wasn't sure how to really read him.

“Then you can both go back to your own lives and my Sister can be happy again..”

The stare Kit and I had lingered for a moment. Was he being protective of his Sister? Most likely and why not? What about Sloane can be discussed without mentioning Seb as well? I understood that to a degree.

“Happy? What's that? I proposed twice to my ex and somehow ended up married to my Best Friend a few months later.”

His smile was forced as Kit nodded and leaned in a bit closer. “Yeah, we all figured it wasn't Sloane's idea..”

My smile wasn't forced but it wasn't a happy smile. It was that smile you get when you recognize a situation and for whatever reason, the idea that Poop could get bad creates a smile on your face.

“Patrick, could you give us a minute?” Nothing else was said, Patrick nodded and backed away before turning and converting back to his role as Santa. “What's up, Kit? Say what you want to say..”

I wasn't going to do anything. He has something to say, I wanted him to say it. He was Sloane’s kid Brother and he should have every comfort to speak freely.

“Now is not the time..” He looks back at the gathering of his Family. Nina is smiling as she chats up her guests. Patrick is dancing around in his Santa costume with Sloane, she has a smile on her face as she has her Mother, Father, Sister and Brother all together and getting along for the most part. Outside of Graves and maybe Kit’s girlfriend, I was what didn't quite belong. At least it was consistent.. “Maybe this weekend?”

I almost forgot we were having a conversation. I got caught up in the moment of how everyone here connected to one another.

“Whatever works best for you Kit.. You're the one with something to say, right?”

Making plans to meet with Kit to discuss Sloane and whatever else, I figured the conversation was over. He stepped in front of me to pass but stopped. “Do me a favor though?” Kit adds. “Don't tell Sloane..” Turning to look me in the eyes, he says. “Not yet anyway, let's talk first.”

“You got it, Kitten!” I patted him to the back shoulder, maybe a bit too hard as he stumbled forward. He kept moving and I cut away and again, beelined for the front door.

“HEEEEEEY!”

Oh my Dang! I shouted in my head as I turned to once again find Sloane chasing after me. This bodyguard gig was serious business to her and for the life of me, I didn't understand why.

“I’m just going to smoke with Cyn and Tennessee..” Trying to calm her concerns or whatever it was that kept her from letting me leave this house. “I’ll be right back.”

“That's fine but I want to give you your present first!” She shrills a bit as she lifts up onto the toes of her feet. “It's in the kitchen, come on!”

“Wait.. No..” Again, I tried to plead as she took my hand and dragged me with her towards the kitchen. Sure enough, she had a box wrapped up and handed it to me with both hands.

“Merry Christmas!” She was excited like before with Patrick’s gift but I would hope it wasn't Moonshine inside this time. “Open it!”

“Fiiiinnne.. Your gift is at the apartment. I didn't know I was supposed to bring it.”

She nodded but rolled her hand wanting me to hurry up. Getting it open, the box wasn't big so I imagined it could be anything. Maybe it was a spring trap and upon opening it, glitter would shoot me in the face. Now I was suddenly having second thoughts, cold feet if you will. Funny ain't it?

I heard some jiggling from inside the box. Clanking. Finally getting the gift wrapping off, I opened the box that could have maybe held a stick of deodorant. Inside were two keys. The look on my face must have matched my thoughts because I surely didn't understand.

“Keys?”

Sloane on the other hand was all smiles. Her red lipstick and bright white outfit looked as filled with Holiday Spirit as you could find being paid to have it. It was annoying.

“Until you find a place of your own.. Those are keys to my apartment! We can be roomies!”

It took a minute but I remembered telling her at the Savage party that if she wanted me to stay over every night for a year that I would, no hesitation. Had she already had these made and why was I feeling the opposite of positive about it? I didn't like it.. What was the gesture? I didn't dare try to ruin her joy over it but it felt as though she was trying to work charity on me. It gave me a pathetic feeling if I was being honest and to myself, I couldn't be anything but honest..

“How cute is this?!” Nina’s voice approaching from behind me had me turning to see that everyone was now looking in our direction. “Well? It is tradition!” She asks as if I’m supposed to know what she meant.

“Oh!”

Sloane says and I spin around to find her looking above us. Sure enough, another mistletoe hung above our heads. Just like at the Savage party. I looked back and everyone was getting closer and muttering amongst themselves as they waited to see a kiss.

“Yeaaaaah.. No.” I reach up and yank down the dreadful holiday tradition and head for the front door. Passing by Patrick, I shove the mistletoe into his hands. Keys? For what I asked myself? After the New Year, all this was over..