Post by Andrea Hernandez on Feb 14, 2024 23:52:09 GMT -5
Monday: Broadway Pier
Baltimore, Maryland
Coming off of a successful world title defense the night prior and thinking about flying to the Dallas area the following morning, Uncivil War was weighing on my mind. I was sitting at the edge of the pier, crumpled pieces of paper sitting next to me as I was writing in my journal.
“You are the biggest assh…” I let out a sigh of frustration. “I never thought writing a letter to my brother would be so damn difficult.”
I ripped the page out of the journal, crumpled it, and tossed it aside with my previous failed attempts. I looked into the water, saw my reflection and ruminated a bit about Roddy and how my relationship with my oldest brother never materialized because he was always so cruel to me. I was feeling sick to my stomach that after all he put me through, he wanted to talk to me after he got out of prison. I decided to put said anger into written words…
“Roddy,
You have some nerve. You come out of prison after all these years and you want to talk to me like nothing happened. You’re leaving notes at Dad’s grave? That tells me that this is all about your and making yourself feel better or at least that is the impression that I get. Why would I want to talk to you after you beat me up in my own closet? Had you not gone to prison, God only knows what else you would’ve done to me. You think I’d forget that? Do you truly think I would forget that so many of my self-esteem issues, most of them a thing of the past, with my own wrestling career are truly because of YOU? Why would you think that I would just forget that prior to that ‘closet incident’, you verbally abused me for years…
All I wanted was a big brother that loved and cared about me.
Thank God for Eddie that I had that with him, but I never had that with you…
You never bothered to try…
Ever…”
I stopped and suddenly felt bitter. I wasn’t frustrated that I couldn’t get it my feelings like moments ago. I was angry that I was ever on his bad side when I didn’t do a damn thing to him.
“I don’t remember you ever playing with me. Would one game of Clue have hurt?
Was a simple hug or an ‘I love you’ that difficult for you?
As the oldest brother, you should’ve protected me but all you did was hurt me and for what? So many of the issues I’ve had in my career would’ve been avoided if I had grown the confidence that I did to face them when I was growing up instead of recently.
But NOW you want to talk to me after you made it clear that you wished I was never born? You think I won’t forget how my 14th birthday was ruined?”
There was the muse that I needed to really push across how I was feeling about the fact that the root of my self-esteem issues was now apparently trying to snake his way back into my life after he did everything he could to ruin it…
…and sadly?
That memory of the aforementioned birthday was beginning to sear in my brain…
March 8, 2008
“You can be a bit of a pain…” I heard my good brother Eddie tell me with a laugh as I was gathered at the table with my parents and my two brothers. The strawberry banana cake my mother worked hard on looked appetizing even though the candles hadn’t been lit yet. Even I was laughing because I knew that’s how he joked with me. “...but you’re someone that I am always going to stand by no matter what. You’ve got a big heart and I think that’s going to carry you a long way going forward in your life. I couldn’t be happier to call you my baby sister and I don’t care what anyone else says, you’re the best sister anyone can ask for.”
I was tearing up with joy as I said ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ to the one brother that truly cared. I stood up to hug him before sitting back down.
“That’s so sweet…” I heard my mother say.
“Alright Roddy, any words for Andrea?” my father added. “And don’t just leave it at happy birthday! Actually TRY this time.”
“Try…” Roddy said with a scoff. “Sure, I’ll try.”
Roddy cleared his throat and I was already feeling worried inside. By this point, I was feeling like he would never come around on me but there was still that naive feeling in my gut that maybe, just maybe, this was when he finally would.
“Andrea…” Roddy began. “So… happy birthday I guess and I want to tell you how I really feel about you, sis…”
My eyes widened a bit.
“I think you are the most repulsive, useless person that I have in my life!”
A chilled, stunned silence filled the room as he continued.
“Why are we even celebrating your birthday? What exactly are we celebrating? Someone that’s just going to be another stay at home mom like most women in our family? I don’t remember waking up one morning asking God for a little sister.”
“Roddy… enough…” my father said, trying to chime in.
“You want to act like you can be a professional wrestler and trying to take MY dream away from me and I take offense to that because to me, that tells me that you’re trying to be better than me. I feel like you’re a whiny, annoying, pathetic little brat that is never going to amount to anything and the sooner I move out of this house the better so I never have to see your ugly face again! You understand me? You’re NEVER going to amount to anything! Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll be an escort and make five bucks a bang or something… oh don’t start crying on me now…”
I couldn’t help it at this point as tears were falling down my face hearing all of this. My father was pissed at this point.
“ENOUGH!” he yelled. “You’re done here. Get out! NOW!”
Roddy just scoffed as he stood up and began to walk away. Only, he doubled back and grabbed me by the hair, shoving my face into my own birthday cake, humiliating me and having a laugh at my own expense. My father was screaming at him in Spanish to leave and I heard him refuse and then heard my father grab him and basically drag him out the door.
It wasn’t enough.
My birthday was ruined beyond repair.
The worst part was that his worse abuse of me was still to come…
Monday…
My soul was on fire once I recapped how I felt about that birthday, what he said to me, and what he did to me. I didn’t feel like crying anymore because I had grown much stronger now, but that 14 year old child in me wanted to just scream at him.
“I’m not sure a load of apologies will ever be enough…” I wrote as I began to wrap up my letter to him. Eddie was coming by, though I wasn’t noticing him yet. “...and even then? I’m not sure you will ever mean them.
Stay away from me!
Andrea.”
“Andrea?” I heard Eddie say as I took the page out of the journal and folded it up. I stood up and handed him the note.
“I want you to give that to Roddy next time you see him.”
I didn’t let him say anything else as I walked out of the pier and further into the boardwalk.
Today…
I found myself in a donut shop once the cameras were on me and I had Uncivil War further on the brain. I had a box of a dozen donuts with me and there was a banner above me that said “Valentine’s Day 10 Cent Special”. Thinking about Jenny Myst and studying what she was all about, particularly her recent escapades in WGWF, was really making my blood boil but when the camera was on, I was hiding that to the best of my ability as I began to speak.
“I want to start off by offering everyone in my home company of TPW a special Valentine’s Day deal here at KAYFABE BAKERIES! Today AND tomorrow, if you stop by this wonderful shop, you get the JENNY MYST SPECIAL. Now, what is the Jenny Myst Special, you ask? For ten cents, you got 12 donuts! That’s right! A dime a dozen special for a dime a dozen herself!”
I had a bit of a chuckle at my own humor before I continued on.
“I’m going to start off by saying this VERY clearly, Jenny. I don’t like people like you in this business. The respect that I have for what you accomplish in that ring is one thing, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you. I’ve been looking forward to this match ever since I found out it was a thing and there was some good word of mouth about you from people that know about you. But then? I find your video where you talk about your match against Dubois and I also streamed WGWF Brawl and studied what you’re about and I was VERY disappointed…
I THOUGHT that maybe I was getting someone that stood out from the rest of the pack… but instead? I’m getting something that I’ve seen before. In fact…”
I put down the donut box and picked up a recipe card that said “Basic Wrestler Recipe” on it.
“...here are the ingredients for the most generic wrestler you can find…
Ingredient One… having a crazy personality… or I guess one of the commentators on Brawl described it as ‘eclectic’?
Two: naming inanimate objects… “Miriam”... in an attempt to spook your opponent or to come off as edgy and original when millions of others in wrestling have done something similar.
Three: Tearing down every single person you come across and trying to verbally diminish, if not verbally abuse them, to make yourself feel better because despite what you’ve accomplished in WGWF, you clearly have a little inferiority complex going on there.
That’s it. You’re a TRYHARD that wants to be SO intimidating but the reality is, the majority of your success comes because people that face you beat themselves mentally because they take your vacuous, vapid, middle school level words of “hurt” to heart. Am I the only one that finds it funny that you spent so much of your promo against Dubois calling him an imitation and basically beating that point to death 100 different ways when really, YOU’RE an imitation of SO many basic BLEEPS before you that have come into this business and done the exact same thing you’re doing? That IS funny, but what’s FUNNIER is that Dubois BEAT YOU more than a week ago on Brawl after ALL of the crap you talked and on that same night, there you were, running down Goth in a similar way you did Dubois going into your match with him and probably the same damn way you try to run down all of your opponents.
You’re a strong wrestler. You wouldn’t have the belt that you’ve had for so long if you weren’t.
But you’re NOT SPECIAL, Jenny. I’ve faced MORE than enough people like you in my career that have done the same shtick you’re doing. Hell, let me introduce you to some of those people.”
I pause as I open the donut box and pull out a glazed donut.
“HI PIPER, you basic ass donut, remember when you were racist toward me saying I should be deported and that I’d never amount to anything? Yeah, you haven’t wrestled since 2017! Next”
I tossed the donut aside and pulled out a filled chocolate Long John
“HI EVIE, remember when you said I had fallen in SCW and tried to make me out to be the worst world champion of all time? How’d that work!”
I squeezed the pastry as chocolate flowed out.
“You always were full of… IT…”
One last pause to toss that aside and pull out a plain cake donut.
“HI DEACON… remember when you said I would never do anything in EWC? Wait, I won a belt. You did… NOTHING!”
I tossed aside the donut to finish my thoughts.
“See Jenny? It’s SO easy to do your thing… and as you can see? I’ve silenced SO many doubters like those names I dropped and SO many people that act just like you do and bully and run down people like you do. So whatever it is you think about me, or what to say about me, just know it matters NONE! You will NOT get to run me down like you do your own coworkers and if you TRY, I WILL send you back to WGWF a humbled, silenced EMBARRASSMENT to your own company… I PROMISE!
Nothing against WGWF, but I’m representing my home and I WILL do so when I beat you and make it known that people like you, like my older brother, will NEVER, EVER break me down again!
With that, I tossed aside the remaining donuts and shut off the camera.
Baltimore, Maryland
Coming off of a successful world title defense the night prior and thinking about flying to the Dallas area the following morning, Uncivil War was weighing on my mind. I was sitting at the edge of the pier, crumpled pieces of paper sitting next to me as I was writing in my journal.
“You are the biggest assh…” I let out a sigh of frustration. “I never thought writing a letter to my brother would be so damn difficult.”
I ripped the page out of the journal, crumpled it, and tossed it aside with my previous failed attempts. I looked into the water, saw my reflection and ruminated a bit about Roddy and how my relationship with my oldest brother never materialized because he was always so cruel to me. I was feeling sick to my stomach that after all he put me through, he wanted to talk to me after he got out of prison. I decided to put said anger into written words…
“Roddy,
You have some nerve. You come out of prison after all these years and you want to talk to me like nothing happened. You’re leaving notes at Dad’s grave? That tells me that this is all about your and making yourself feel better or at least that is the impression that I get. Why would I want to talk to you after you beat me up in my own closet? Had you not gone to prison, God only knows what else you would’ve done to me. You think I’d forget that? Do you truly think I would forget that so many of my self-esteem issues, most of them a thing of the past, with my own wrestling career are truly because of YOU? Why would you think that I would just forget that prior to that ‘closet incident’, you verbally abused me for years…
All I wanted was a big brother that loved and cared about me.
Thank God for Eddie that I had that with him, but I never had that with you…
You never bothered to try…
Ever…”
I stopped and suddenly felt bitter. I wasn’t frustrated that I couldn’t get it my feelings like moments ago. I was angry that I was ever on his bad side when I didn’t do a damn thing to him.
“I don’t remember you ever playing with me. Would one game of Clue have hurt?
Was a simple hug or an ‘I love you’ that difficult for you?
As the oldest brother, you should’ve protected me but all you did was hurt me and for what? So many of the issues I’ve had in my career would’ve been avoided if I had grown the confidence that I did to face them when I was growing up instead of recently.
But NOW you want to talk to me after you made it clear that you wished I was never born? You think I won’t forget how my 14th birthday was ruined?”
There was the muse that I needed to really push across how I was feeling about the fact that the root of my self-esteem issues was now apparently trying to snake his way back into my life after he did everything he could to ruin it…
…and sadly?
That memory of the aforementioned birthday was beginning to sear in my brain…
March 8, 2008
“You can be a bit of a pain…” I heard my good brother Eddie tell me with a laugh as I was gathered at the table with my parents and my two brothers. The strawberry banana cake my mother worked hard on looked appetizing even though the candles hadn’t been lit yet. Even I was laughing because I knew that’s how he joked with me. “...but you’re someone that I am always going to stand by no matter what. You’ve got a big heart and I think that’s going to carry you a long way going forward in your life. I couldn’t be happier to call you my baby sister and I don’t care what anyone else says, you’re the best sister anyone can ask for.”
I was tearing up with joy as I said ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ to the one brother that truly cared. I stood up to hug him before sitting back down.
“That’s so sweet…” I heard my mother say.
“Alright Roddy, any words for Andrea?” my father added. “And don’t just leave it at happy birthday! Actually TRY this time.”
“Try…” Roddy said with a scoff. “Sure, I’ll try.”
Roddy cleared his throat and I was already feeling worried inside. By this point, I was feeling like he would never come around on me but there was still that naive feeling in my gut that maybe, just maybe, this was when he finally would.
“Andrea…” Roddy began. “So… happy birthday I guess and I want to tell you how I really feel about you, sis…”
My eyes widened a bit.
“I think you are the most repulsive, useless person that I have in my life!”
A chilled, stunned silence filled the room as he continued.
“Why are we even celebrating your birthday? What exactly are we celebrating? Someone that’s just going to be another stay at home mom like most women in our family? I don’t remember waking up one morning asking God for a little sister.”
“Roddy… enough…” my father said, trying to chime in.
“You want to act like you can be a professional wrestler and trying to take MY dream away from me and I take offense to that because to me, that tells me that you’re trying to be better than me. I feel like you’re a whiny, annoying, pathetic little brat that is never going to amount to anything and the sooner I move out of this house the better so I never have to see your ugly face again! You understand me? You’re NEVER going to amount to anything! Maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll be an escort and make five bucks a bang or something… oh don’t start crying on me now…”
I couldn’t help it at this point as tears were falling down my face hearing all of this. My father was pissed at this point.
“ENOUGH!” he yelled. “You’re done here. Get out! NOW!”
Roddy just scoffed as he stood up and began to walk away. Only, he doubled back and grabbed me by the hair, shoving my face into my own birthday cake, humiliating me and having a laugh at my own expense. My father was screaming at him in Spanish to leave and I heard him refuse and then heard my father grab him and basically drag him out the door.
It wasn’t enough.
My birthday was ruined beyond repair.
The worst part was that his worse abuse of me was still to come…
Monday…
My soul was on fire once I recapped how I felt about that birthday, what he said to me, and what he did to me. I didn’t feel like crying anymore because I had grown much stronger now, but that 14 year old child in me wanted to just scream at him.
“I’m not sure a load of apologies will ever be enough…” I wrote as I began to wrap up my letter to him. Eddie was coming by, though I wasn’t noticing him yet. “...and even then? I’m not sure you will ever mean them.
Stay away from me!
Andrea.”
“Andrea?” I heard Eddie say as I took the page out of the journal and folded it up. I stood up and handed him the note.
“I want you to give that to Roddy next time you see him.”
I didn’t let him say anything else as I walked out of the pier and further into the boardwalk.
Today…
I found myself in a donut shop once the cameras were on me and I had Uncivil War further on the brain. I had a box of a dozen donuts with me and there was a banner above me that said “Valentine’s Day 10 Cent Special”. Thinking about Jenny Myst and studying what she was all about, particularly her recent escapades in WGWF, was really making my blood boil but when the camera was on, I was hiding that to the best of my ability as I began to speak.
“I want to start off by offering everyone in my home company of TPW a special Valentine’s Day deal here at KAYFABE BAKERIES! Today AND tomorrow, if you stop by this wonderful shop, you get the JENNY MYST SPECIAL. Now, what is the Jenny Myst Special, you ask? For ten cents, you got 12 donuts! That’s right! A dime a dozen special for a dime a dozen herself!”
I had a bit of a chuckle at my own humor before I continued on.
“I’m going to start off by saying this VERY clearly, Jenny. I don’t like people like you in this business. The respect that I have for what you accomplish in that ring is one thing, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you. I’ve been looking forward to this match ever since I found out it was a thing and there was some good word of mouth about you from people that know about you. But then? I find your video where you talk about your match against Dubois and I also streamed WGWF Brawl and studied what you’re about and I was VERY disappointed…
I THOUGHT that maybe I was getting someone that stood out from the rest of the pack… but instead? I’m getting something that I’ve seen before. In fact…”
I put down the donut box and picked up a recipe card that said “Basic Wrestler Recipe” on it.
“...here are the ingredients for the most generic wrestler you can find…
Ingredient One… having a crazy personality… or I guess one of the commentators on Brawl described it as ‘eclectic’?
Two: naming inanimate objects… “Miriam”... in an attempt to spook your opponent or to come off as edgy and original when millions of others in wrestling have done something similar.
Three: Tearing down every single person you come across and trying to verbally diminish, if not verbally abuse them, to make yourself feel better because despite what you’ve accomplished in WGWF, you clearly have a little inferiority complex going on there.
That’s it. You’re a TRYHARD that wants to be SO intimidating but the reality is, the majority of your success comes because people that face you beat themselves mentally because they take your vacuous, vapid, middle school level words of “hurt” to heart. Am I the only one that finds it funny that you spent so much of your promo against Dubois calling him an imitation and basically beating that point to death 100 different ways when really, YOU’RE an imitation of SO many basic BLEEPS before you that have come into this business and done the exact same thing you’re doing? That IS funny, but what’s FUNNIER is that Dubois BEAT YOU more than a week ago on Brawl after ALL of the crap you talked and on that same night, there you were, running down Goth in a similar way you did Dubois going into your match with him and probably the same damn way you try to run down all of your opponents.
You’re a strong wrestler. You wouldn’t have the belt that you’ve had for so long if you weren’t.
But you’re NOT SPECIAL, Jenny. I’ve faced MORE than enough people like you in my career that have done the same shtick you’re doing. Hell, let me introduce you to some of those people.”
I pause as I open the donut box and pull out a glazed donut.
“HI PIPER, you basic ass donut, remember when you were racist toward me saying I should be deported and that I’d never amount to anything? Yeah, you haven’t wrestled since 2017! Next”
I tossed the donut aside and pulled out a filled chocolate Long John
“HI EVIE, remember when you said I had fallen in SCW and tried to make me out to be the worst world champion of all time? How’d that work!”
I squeezed the pastry as chocolate flowed out.
“You always were full of… IT…”
One last pause to toss that aside and pull out a plain cake donut.
“HI DEACON… remember when you said I would never do anything in EWC? Wait, I won a belt. You did… NOTHING!”
I tossed aside the donut to finish my thoughts.
“See Jenny? It’s SO easy to do your thing… and as you can see? I’ve silenced SO many doubters like those names I dropped and SO many people that act just like you do and bully and run down people like you do. So whatever it is you think about me, or what to say about me, just know it matters NONE! You will NOT get to run me down like you do your own coworkers and if you TRY, I WILL send you back to WGWF a humbled, silenced EMBARRASSMENT to your own company… I PROMISE!
Nothing against WGWF, but I’m representing my home and I WILL do so when I beat you and make it known that people like you, like my older brother, will NEVER, EVER break me down again!
With that, I tossed aside the remaining donuts and shut off the camera.
