Post by jackmehoff on Feb 22, 2024 23:09:46 GMT -5
We are taken inside a limo. The interior of the limo is decorated with black leather seats and white leather trimming. The walls of the car are also lined with expensive looking white leather upholstery in the same color scheme. Sitting in the back, wearing an ugly peach colored suit that looks out of Saul Goodmans closet, is Jack N. Mehoff. He has a huge smile on his face as he looks toward the camera.
Now, I'm setting my sights on the wrestling world, not because I'm a fan boy, not because I have any illusions of wanting fame and glory, I'm in it for the money. And I'm not talking about the small paycheck Thunder Pro pays its "independent contractors," I'm talking about all the ways I can use the wrestling business to boost my porn business. See, if I go out on an episode of Friday Night Fury, with a drop dead gorgeous porn star, every horny loser who never had a girlfriend in his life, will immediately jump on porn hub and look for her latest scene that I produced, directed and more than likely starred in. And that means more money in my pocket.
If I name drop my latest movie while cutting a promo, BAM!! direct marketing to my target demographic. If I win a title belt and shoot a scene where me and a girl have sex on top of it, and some loser claiming to be a wrestling journalist reports on it. BAM it just paid for my new yacht.
And I know some people are going to say, "Money can't buy happiness." Well if that's the case, the people saying that have never tried being me. Don't believe me, I'll show you.
The scene changes to a Hooters restaurant, (are these things even still around?) The place looks busy enough for it to be a popular place to hang out but it's quiet enough so you can hear yourself think. Jack walks up to the front counter where a busty blonde is working on the cash register.
Waitress: Welcome to Hooters. How may I help you?
Jack: I'm Jack Mehoff, and I want to rent out the restaurant.
Waitress: Certainly, we are always looking to rent out for private parties. When are you looking to schedule it? We need at least three weeks notice and it needs to have a twelve person minimum.
Jack: No, I don't think you get what I'm asking. Go get the manager.
Jack opens his wallet, pulls out a stack of hundred dollar bills and starts counting them out on the counter.
*30 minutes later*
There is a sign on the front door saying "Closed for a private party" and a group of disappointed looking middle aged men looking in through the door. Jack is sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant, all by himself. He has his feet up on a table and is casually eating a plate full of chicken wings, watching Uncivil War on the big screen, as the manager is standing behind him, counting a wad of money with a huge smile on his face. A waitress walks over to Jack and wipes hot sauce off his face. Another one brings another plate of chicken wings to the table, while another one walks up to Jack.
Waitress: Excuse me Mr. Mehoff. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Jack looks at the camera and gets a sly smile on his face before he looks back at the Waitress.
Jack: As a matter in fact there is. You could turn your back to the camera and I will pay you one hundred dollars to take off your top.
The waitress hesitates for a second thinking.
Waitress: I'm sorry Mr. Mehoff, but I've got too much self respect to do that.
Jack: Oh, did I say one hundred? I meant three hundred.
Jack holds up the money, she takes a second to think it over, takes the money, turns her back to the camera, lifts her shirt off, and removes her bra.
Jack: Darlin, if you're willing to do that for a couple hundred, give me a call at my studio and we'll discuss what you're willing to do for a couple thousand.
Jack gives her his business card and starts laughing as the scene fades to black.
Words appear in white on the screen.
Jack Mehoff is coming to TPW. And now available Million Dollar Clam.
We are taken outside of JM Studio in Los Angeles, California. It's a relatively nondescript looking grey building, down a back street in an industrial area near LAX. The area is surrounded by manufacturing plants and warehouses. The parking lot has only a few cars parked in it. TPW interviewer Sandy Marshall walks up the front of the building with camera man in tow.
Sandy: Are you sure this is the right place?
Camera man: Yeah, why?
Sandy: Well when I heard this guy ran a studio, I was expecting something fancier than this.
Camera man: You know we're rolling, right?
Sandy: Darn it, why didn't you tell me? Hello Thundermaniacs. This is Sandy Marshall, here to interview a man making his in ring debut at the next episode of Friday Night Fury, a man named Jack N. Mehoff. Now I will admit, I don't know a lot about Jack N. Mehoff, but when I posted anything about Jack N. Mehoff on my social media page, my views went way up. I'm here to talk with the man and find out more about his upcoming match against a mystery opponent for his debut.
They walk past a rough looking homeless guy, holding up a cardboard sign that says, "Need $$$ for crack"
Homeless guy: Hey miss, got a dollar?
Sandy: Eww get away creep.
Sandy runs past the homeless guy and through the front door and into a small reception area. The posters on the wall leave no doubt about what kind of movies are made at this studio.. The walls are adorned with posters from various pornographic movies released by the company. Each poster has a picture of a scantily clad woman or two and have titles such as "Plastic Surgery Miracle Workers," "Grab Em by the P***y," "My Big Python and the Meaning of Life" and "Stick It Where It Doesn't Belong 34." Sandy walks up to the front desk where a receptionist sits. She looks... well a little off.
Her outside presentation says "all business." Her dirty blonde hair is pulled back into a neat ponytail. Her ice cold blue eyes are accentuated by her blue wire rim glasses. She is wearing a black pants suit and black blouse. But despite her professional outward appearance, from what little exposed skin she has, we can make out that she has a few tattoos. A large one on her neck and on both hands. A name tag on the desk in front of her says Eva Ridge.
Eva: Can I help you?
Sandy: I'm here for a interview with Mr. Mehoff.
The receptionist rolls her eyes, as if this is something she does regularly. She pulls out a form and a clip board and hands it to Sandy.
Eva: Fill this form out and he'll see you when he has a chance.
Sandy: Is this like a test or something? My daddy paid off my high school teachers so I wouldn't have to do anymore of these.
Eva gives a look that screams, "I hate this job."
Eva: It's a standard release form. Anyone who films a porn scene has to fill one out.
Sandy stands there for a second thinking.
Sandy: You know, I never thought about how mad it would make Daddy if I starred in a porno. He was really pissed when the nude photos from my phone got released.
Eva: You would definitely not be the first girl to walk through those doors looking to get back at a parent.
Sandy starts filling out the form. She looks at a question and gets a confused look on her face.
Sandy: On this question that says "sex" there isn't enough room for me to write everything. Is it OK if I write on the back?
Eva: Somehow, I think doing that would only help your chances.
Sandy writes and fills in the rest of the document in much more time than should be required. Eva sighs deeply.
Jack N. Mehoff walks out of a studio, wearing a Travice Kelce jersey. He is followed shortly by a busty blonde, wearing a replica of Taylor Swifts silver, chic, outfit she wears at concerts.
This girl is Kelly Lingus, star of the Ass Pirates of the Caribbean movie series and winner of the 2023 AVN Award for Best Anal Scene. As the two walk out of the room, they look like they're having a disagreement.
Kelly: Do we really have to shoot this scenario again? We already did it with your intro to FTW, we did it with your introduction to the IIW Ice Crown Tournament, and now you're having us do it with Thunder Pro?
Jack: Well it was different the last few times we did it. When we did it for FTW, we had a competent, intelligent, take no crap woman. When we did it for IIW, we did it with some dopey clueless putz. Now we're doing it with an air headed dumb blonde.
Kelly: But Jack, I'm a professional performer and I can't keep doing the same thing over and over. We need to keep things fresh. Like the last couple scenes we shot where I'm home alone and get it on with the pizza guy, instead of the plumber, or cable guy, or door to door vacuum sales person like in previous scenes.
Jack: Okay, fine, we'll change it up.
Sandy starts walking over toward them. Jack looks at Sandy for the first time and bright lights start to shine around her. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World by Prince starts to play
Sandy: Umm.. What's happening?
Jack: It's a dream sequence. Just go with it.
Sandy: Mr. Mehoff. Mr. Mehoff? Are you alright?
Everything changes back to the office they were previously in.
Jack: I'm sorry. I got a little distracted. Okay, Miss Marshal. This would normally be the part where we make a joke about you trying to be in a porno, but we're going to skip that and move on to where we talk about TPW.
Sandy: Actually, I was thinking about releasing a sex tape.
Jack: Really? Normally we play this whole scenario just to mess with people. If you're serious about it, we could meet some time over dinner to discuss it.
Sandy giggles a bit.
Sandy: I think I'd like that.
Jack: Great, but first things first. Let's talk about TPW.
Sandy: Ok, so as I understand it, you've signed on for your first match at the next episode of Friday Night Fury, and you'll be facing a mystery opponent, known only to yourself and select people in the office. Care to give any hints on who your opponent may be?
Jack: While this company has many worthy wrestlers for such a historic event as my first match, like "Magic" Mike Jones, Mario Esposito, Maxwell Stone and Sal Badman, I'm facing someone who has not wrestled in TPW yet, and I can guarantee this match will be all over social media when it's through. People will be ranting and raving on Twitter (I refuse to call it "X") YouTube and on Podcasts. It will have everyone talking about me and TPW.
Sandy: Wow, it certainly sounds like you'll be making an impact in your debut match.
Jack: Well, I'm not going to say much more about who my first opponent is going to be, but I will say that I definitely will be unforgettable. And when it's done, everyone will be talking about Jack N. Mehoff.
Later that night. The only room in the studio where cameras are never allowed. A room locked with a security pad. Only three people in the world know the combination to it, and one of them is presumed dead. It is a poorly lit room with a beat up wrestling ring in the center, and various workout equipment surrounding it. A blackboard hangs on the wall with the name of every member of the TPW roster and staff, some names circled, others with notes next to them. In the corner sits a computer with a few different monitors. Sitting behind the desk, watching the latest episode of Friday Night Fury, taking notes is Eva Ridge.
She has her hair let down and has her suit coat laying on the desk. She is wearing a short sleaved black blouse, showing several tattoos on her arms, as well as several scars, some old, a few recent. She has a half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's on the desk, and a cigarette hanging from her mouth. She looks at the screen to see the match between JMont and Matt Knox. On another monitor the comments from Jack's promo he cut earlier in the day. The door to the room opens and Jack walks into the room.
Jack: So, how are we looking.
Eva turns toward him and takes a drag from her cigarette.
Eva: Just like we planned. With that announcement you made, people are expecting a huge signing for the company. When they see what we have planned, they're going to be so pissed. And they'll all just assume you're total joke, and we'll have them right where we want them. Are you ready for this?
Jack: Oh you better believe it. I've been itching to go for over a month. Sucks I had to wait a few weeks to make my debut, but if there's one thing I know about it's how to pick my spots. How about you? Ever feel the itch to get back in there?
Eva rubs her hand over a long scar on her left bicep that runs through a tattoo of a snake. She has a flashback of standing in a wrestling ring, and getting launched into ring ropes that were replaced by barbwire, pain shooting through her body, followed by a faceless opponent grabbing her arm and raking it across the barbwire. She shakes her head, coming back to the present.
Eva: It's always there. The itch. But, some things are better left in the past.
She opens a prescription bottle in the top desk drawer, pours out a few pills, pops them in her mouth and drinks from the bottle of Jack Daniel's to wash it down.
Eva: So, I've got to ask, are you sure you want to open the Pandoras box of messing around with the company owners daughter?
Jack: If there's one thing I know how to take advantage of, it's girls with Daddy issues.
Eva: You know this guy's not like Arnie, right? I don't think Mashall would be amused if you brought plus sized strippers into his office.
Jack: Oh, I know this guy is ruthless enough to screw over his brother. So he's not someone to mess with. But, you gotta admit, the fact that he's not someone you should be messing with makes it that much more fun.
She has her hair let down and has her suit coat laying on the desk. She is wearing a short sleaved black blouse, showing several tattoos on her arms, as well as several scars, some old, a few recent. She has a half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's on the desk, and a cigarette hanging from her mouth. She looks at the screen to see the match between JMont and Matt Knox. On another monitor the comments from Jack's promo he cut earlier in the day. The door to the room opens and Jack walks into the room.
Jack: So, how are we looking.
Eva turns toward him and takes a drag from her cigarette.
Eva: Just like we planned. With that announcement you made, people are expecting a huge signing for the company. When they see what we have planned, they're going to be so pissed. And they'll all just assume you're total joke, and we'll have them right where we want them. Are you ready for this?
Jack: Oh you better believe it. I've been itching to go for over a month. Sucks I had to wait a few weeks to make my debut, but if there's one thing I know about it's how to pick my spots. How about you? Ever feel the itch to get back in there?
Eva rubs her hand over a long scar on her left bicep that runs through a tattoo of a snake. She has a flashback of standing in a wrestling ring, and getting launched into ring ropes that were replaced by barbwire, pain shooting through her body, followed by a faceless opponent grabbing her arm and raking it across the barbwire. She shakes her head, coming back to the present.
Eva: It's always there. The itch. But, some things are better left in the past.
She opens a prescription bottle in the top desk drawer, pours out a few pills, pops them in her mouth and drinks from the bottle of Jack Daniel's to wash it down.
Eva: So, I've got to ask, are you sure you want to open the Pandoras box of messing around with the company owners daughter?
Jack: If there's one thing I know how to take advantage of, it's girls with Daddy issues.
Eva: You know this guy's not like Arnie, right? I don't think Mashall would be amused if you brought plus sized strippers into his office.
Jack: Oh, I know this guy is ruthless enough to screw over his brother. So he's not someone to mess with. But, you gotta admit, the fact that he's not someone you should be messing with makes it that much more fun.
