Jail Break Pt. II

Superunknown opens his eyes. He is aboard the hovercraft. He glances out the window as the ship cruises the barren countryside. The clouds in the sky seem to always be looming on the horizon even during the sunniest days and the sky is a hazy shade of orange in this time.

Superunknown looks around. He is seated in a deeply reclined chair. Had he slept? He can’t remember even laying down after the chaos of the jailbreak. In fact, he doesn’t remember much after getting pulled into the ship with that tractor beam.

Suddenly the doors to his quarters slide open and in walks Frances Farmer.

Hello, Duncan.

Superunknown couldn’t believe he was hearing that voice. He sits in shock for a few seconds before he whips his head around, looking like he had seen a ghost.

Frances..? How are you here?

She chuckles softly.

Us Atlanteans possess many secrets. One of them is our exceptionally long lives.

You’re Atlantean, when did you become an Atlantean?!

I never was not. Sorry I never told you, but I guess I am now. Better late than never.

A hundred years or so too late.

Time is funny like that.

Frances moves around and takes an empty seat next to Superunknown. She hasn’t aged a day. The doors slide open behind them and in walks Jeremy The Wicked.

What’s going on?

I am just about to fill Duncan in here about our plan.

Plan?

To get you back home, to your present.

So we can win the S.E.X. Cup...

We won’t be able to get you back in time for that.

Why not? Can’t we time travel?

Frances sighs.

I truly wish it were that simple. The method that the Technocrat used to send Raymond_II.exe back in time is similar to a casting a net. He went back to a specific point in time and as time moves forward here, so does the net. We can only move within that window.

Hmmm… Why not just open a new window?

For one, we don’t have that kind of tech at our disposal, and most importantly, we don’t have the energy needed to operate that tech.

So we are just going to let those clone jerk-offs sully our reputation?

To be fair, they’ve done pretty well since taking over after Winter Wrestleland. Besides, I’m back there, well, my past self is back there to make sure those two stay on track and to get them to where they need to be to initiate the swap when the time comes.

Superunknown sits silent for a moment. It kind of stings knowing that someone else is stealing Rogues Gallery’s glory, even if it is two clones of them.

So, you send us back and-

We take those two sons of bitches out and reclaim our lives.

Frances shakes her head.

I can’t have you doing anything of the sort. We need those two alive and well.

Why?

Frances stands up and walks slowly toward the door. She looks back over her shoulder at Rogues’ Gallery.

C’mon, let me introduce you two to the rest of the crew.

Rogues’ Gallery gets up and follows Frances Farmer out of Superunknown’s quarters and through the narrow and cramped hallways of the hovercraft. Superunknown has to duck a few times to avoid hitting his head on some of the ductwork and cables. They arrive to the end of the hall and it opens up to the captain’s bridge.

Frances walks over to a tall, muscular man wearing shabby, dark clothes, he is clicking away at the navigation console. She turns back to Rogues’ Gallery.

This is Tonk, he is our navigator.

Tonk swivels around in his chair.

Hey guys! How are you?

Tonk, this is Rogues’ Gallery. Jeremy The Wicked and my err, umm, Duncan… also known as Superunknown.

We went through quite the ordeal to break you two out of the Technocrat’s prison. It’s a pleasure to meet you two.

Tonk extends his hand. JTW shakes it.

Likewise and thanks for that.

Superunknown does the same.

Yeah, we owe you one.

Frances heads to the other side of the bridge to the pilot’s console where a spitting image of Tonk sits, monitoring the autopilot readouts as the hovercraft zooms across the countryside.

And this is our pilot, Tonk’s twin brother, Gozer.

Gozer swivels around to them, the three of shaking hands.

Helluva a Duo you two are.

Thanks man.

Seems like you and your brother are too. We owe you both a debt we might never be able to repay.

Don’t sweat it. You two hungry?

Rogues’ Gallery look at each other and both shrug.

We could eat.

Good, I’m the cook around here. I made us all something special for lunch.

Gozer is a great cook.

None of that beyond meat or mealworm. I got the hook-up for some real, legit beef.

We are going to need your counterparts still alive and well. For one, we need them to help defeat the Technocrat-

But they are evil…

You two aren’t exactly angels yourselves and the Technocrat tortured them and filled their heads with propaganda… Nothing I can’t fix.

I need JTW, because without JTW, there is no Shadow. If I send you two back and I don’t get them in return, I don’t have Shadow either. her.

JTW looks at Frances a bit puzzled.

What do you mean?

What I mean is, the Shadow defies the Technocrat’s entire philosophy. To him, all that exists is matter. Atoms, protons, electrons, spinning around in some kind of electric soup. To him, human beings don’t have souls. We are meat puppets, controlled by our brains and their internal programming. The firing of electrons, nothing more. Just things in a universe filled with other things to be managed. To be counted, collated, quantified, and put in their proper place. The Shadow’s existence runs counter to this entire worldview. I’m not sure the Technocrat has ever faced something like this. I’m not sure he could even handle acknowledging its existence.

The Shadow is our secret weapon against him. Our ace in the hole, so to speak.

Interesting…

You sense his presence here in this time, yes?

Yeah, I saw him a few weeks back.

But he couldn’t help you the way he could before, could he?

No, he just stood there and watched me. It was kind of creepy. Well, not kind of… it was creepy as fudge.

Just as I expected. Without you in your original time, he is slowly losing strength and since then and now, he has lost significant strength. He probably was fairly close to disappearing completely until you showed up. He may be regaining his strength. Maybe not though. I’m not entirely sure if I’m being honest. What I am sure of though is if I can get the Shadow from your time here, we will be cooking with gasoline.

JTW nods.

What do we say gang? It’s time to eat!

Gozer rubs his hands together as he pushes back in his chair and stands up and walks away from the pilot console.

Autopilot is a go. Let’s chow down!



In the present, Rogues’ Gallery, JTW, Superunknown, and Frances Farmer sit on a plane flying over the Pacific as they head to Honolulu,Hawaii for Thunder In Paradise 3 to take part in the S.E.X. Cup Finals. Superunknown sips from a small plastic cup containing a pour of bourbon as his massive frame leans back in the seat. He is unmasked at the moment, wearing his Duncan suit as it is.

Hanako Tohei wants to see me with my fudgin’ mask off?! Well, get a good look girly… because here it is, in all of its damn glory. A sight to behold, If I may say that Poop myself. But if that little girl wants to try and take MY mask during the match, she’s gonna end up like Judas Priest said: got another thing comin’!

Hell yeah, dawg!

JTW leans in and slaps hands with Superunknown. Frances Farmer rolls her eyes.

I swear, between the two of you… you’ve got the combined brain cells of a rodent.

Hey! Not cool, dudette. I’ve got at least a double-digit IQ.

That is not the flex you think it is, Jeremy.

Jeremy shrugs.

Could be higher.

I swear, if Flowers of Carnage don’t start showin’ me some fudgin’ respect, I’ll find another steel pipe and get to business on them like we did MMS and Knight. This might all be a game to those two, but I ain’t playin’.

Enough about them, they are just trying to get in your head. Since you are letting them right now… they are finding out it is a pretty desolate and empty place.

Superunknown shakes his head in denial. He takes a sip of bourbon and sets the cup back down on his folding tray.

JTW laughs and points at his partner.

I’m feelin’ that, dude.

What?!

No dude, not what she said. What you said about not playin’. We’re about to walk into the Aloha Stadium and hit three of the best Duos in the business and lay the smackdown on them, bruh. Hardcore. You know what I’m sayin’? Those six ain’t gonna know what hit them, man. Are you ready to lay the smackdown?

I was born ready, sucka. I’m ready to float across that ring like a butterfly sting like a motherfudgin’ bee.

A man in the row behind them, sitting with his wife, leans forward and grips the shoulder rest of Duncan’s seat.

Could you please watch your language, sir? There are other people on this airplane.

JTW turns to Frances Farmer.

I told you we should’ve flown private.

With WHAT MONEY?!

I dunno, don’t you have a rich friend, Duncan?

Superunknown turns away from the man back to facing Jeremy The Wicked.

And you think he’s gonna let me use his private jet to fly to fudgin’ Hawaii?

JTW shrugs.

I dunno, it’s worth a shot.

Superunknown shrugs and then slams back the rest of his beverage. He catches the eye of the stewardess and signals he wants another.

Language, please!

Superunknown turns back to him.

You’re still there asshole?!

The man sighs and shakes his head before he falls back into his seat, frustrated.

Look, when someone tells you what their plans are… Believe them. Flowers of Carnage is going to be going into this match not just to win, but to figure you out. Everybody in that match is going to do the same. You’re the champs, if any Duo wins other than Rogues’ Gallery, they will be the ones coming for your belts.

Frances adjusts in her seat.

That goes for Lights Out, who are certainly looking to regain their mojo after they got beat at Winter Wrestleland. That goes for Never//More too. It’s Rogues’ Gallery under the microscope, here. It’s you too in EVERYONE'S crosshairs.

Every Duo fought their asses off to get to the finals, including you two… but don’t get it twisted. They are coming for YOUR HEADS. That being said though, you do have some things that are working in your favor.

Please go on…

Yes, please continue…

Junko has to be thinking about the main event, how can she focus on this match when she has a No Rope, Electrified Barbed Wire Deathmatch against J Mont coming immediately after? That tells me she is going to be relying heavily on Hanako to carry a substantial amount of this match. Lights Out, well, I would say you’ve beaten them before, but your counterparts did. Though, they implanted those memories, right?

Superunknown nods.

You bet yer sweet ass.

Easy there.

Superunknown looks around.

Where is that waitress with my damn drink?

Frances ignores him and continues on.

So you know what it is like to be in the ring with Ava Arthur and Alessia Angelo and you also know what it takes to beat them. Your counterparts used some tactics to get under their skin that I’d say you two are arguably better at, or at least those tactics come more naturally to you. Now, will Lights Out being the nimble creatures they are, be able to take advantage of the hurricane hustle rules? Of course. Duncan, you are like a battleship, you are full of raw fire power and damn near indestructible, but you can’t turn on a dime the way they can. Jeremy on the other hand… he can be that livewire this team needs to come out the other end of this match with your hands raised in victory.

Duuude! Dood! Dud.. Dud... If Dunc flies like a butterfly and stings like a bee. I am like a heat-seeking missile and I hit like a damn wrecking ball!

Frances laughs.

Whatever you say, Miley. Look, now is not the time to get cocky and full of yourselves. Even if you’ve got Flowers of Carnage and Lights Out number, you’ve still got to contend with former International Champion, Matt Knox and the first S.E.X. Cup winners in Never//More. Not only that, but you’ve never been in the ring with them before, that’s true for Flowers of Carnage… but, again, Junko’s got other stuff to worry about. You don’t have Matt Knox or Amber Ryan pulling double duty on this card. They are focused solely on this match and I’d say that makes them a threat. Granted, any of these teams is a threat and you should not forget that.

Bruh, I’m the only real threat in that ring.

Superuknown leans over and gives him a chop to the chest.

Hey! What the hell?!

The man behind them leans forward.

And now violence?

Piss off, broseph. Go clutch your pearls back up your keister somewhere else, bromosapien.

The man scoffs and sits back again.

I meant you too, Supes.

Sure, I’ll let it slide.

OK, when you two are done measuring your dicks… we’ve got our strategy to discuss. Duncan, you are the more veteran player here. What do you think the strategy should be?

You’re really askin’ me this Poop?

Frances gives him a stiff look.

Yeah, I am.

Well, if you ask me. I should start off, use my size and strength to wear down the three other teams. JTW here should be in and out, quick hits then back to me until I’m ready to turn over the reigns to the little badass. Once I’ve taken all of their arrows, I’ll send him in to finish the job. It’s what we do, we do a damn good job of it.

Frances turns to Jeremy.

And what about you? You’re comfortable being the clean up crew?

JTW shrugs.

Yeah… totally.

Hmph.

What?

I actually like it.

Just then the captain’s voice comes over the loudspeaker.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have started our final descent. In preparation for landIng, please return to your seats, fasten your seatbelts, raise your tray tables are up and ensure your seat backs are in the upright and locked positions. Any personal belongings which may have been used during flight, please make sure they are secured in the overhead bin or underneath the seat in front of you. Flight attendants will be making one last trip through the aisle to collect any service items. We will be landing soon.”

The plane banks hard to the right as it approaches the island of Honolulu.


Rogues’ Gallery stand on the beach in Honolulu as the sun begins to set behind them. The sky draped in orange and blue hues as the beautiful deep blue water crashes in waves behind them. This tropical paradise, one of Earth’s most heavenly chunks of land sits in stark contrast to the bleak dystopian future of the Technocrat.

Both wrestlers stand in the sand with their arms crossed over their chests, Frances Farmer stands between them.

I’ll start. So it seems everyone will be gunnin’ for us, the Duos champ in this hurricane hustle match and I can’t say I blame them one damn bit. I can’t say if I were in their place, I wouldn’t be doin’ the same damn. But Superunknown doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what their plans are, their plans won’t mean jack squat, because this match is goin’ to go the way we want it to go.

Yeah, dude… like it totally will. I swear dudes and dudettes, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

And when you do see what’s comin’ you won’t be questionin’ whether or not Jeremy here and I should be Duos Champion anymore. NO ONE WILL. You all are about to learn the hard way that not only are JTW and I willin’ to do what it takes. We can actually get it fudgin’ done. Whether that means we gotta wrap a steel chair around your heads or hit you with a steel pipe. Hell, I don’t care if we gotta take things back to October and smash a tequila bottle over someone’s head. We’re fixin’ to do to each and everyone of you what we did to Alexander Marshall! We’re walkin’ out that ring at Thunder In Paradise 3 not only as the Duos Champions but also as 2024 S.E.X. Cup winners! We are here to strike fear into any and all would be contenders. We are here to instill a dang reign of fudgin’ terror, if you know what I mean.

As Superunknown is speaking. We can see JTW look off with a thousand yard stare. You can see Shadow come over him and he interrupts.

I’ve got the blood of Kings flowing through me! I’m a product of a thousand generations of greatness reaching back to the days of Genesis. I’m not a product of your sick and disgusting world. In fact, I look down on it. I hold it with contempt. If I had my way, I’d snatch it in my hand and toss this place and all of its asshole inhabitants into the sun.

Burn the boats, cause we ain’t going back!

No how, no way. And that’s the bottom line…

You can see Shadow release his hold on JTW. He stumbles for a second but regains his composure.

‘Cause SUPERUKNOWN SAID SO!

JTW looks at his partner incredulously.

C’mon dude, you said you weren’t gonna do the Stone Cold thing. We talked about this!