Post by zybala on Mar 19, 2024 8:10:24 GMT -5
~ The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, it's a beautiful, Florida day in the yard. You know what that means boys and girls. You've wanted it. You've YEARNED for it. It's time for the long anticipated return of Outsiders Championship Wrestling: Dystopia!!! The yard looks amazing ever since Zybala bought both houses on either side of Outsiders HQ. The lawn is mowed, and the bushes are trimmed. We take a look around and the usual ring side seats surround a brand new squared circle, but what's this? There are actual BLEACHERS behind the rows of lawn chairs!!! Every seat is filled! The Yardies are excited to see all the action that only Outsider's can bring! Behind the bleachers are a few rows of port-o-potties for obvious reasons.
The Mariachi Band is playing a mariachi version of The Final Countdown by Europe and the Yardies are digging it. The community coolers are filled with Labatt Blue Beer and Budweiser. No more Pabst Blue Ribbon here. We look towards the main house and see that a ramp has been built leading to the back door, which has a curtain draped over it. On either side of the ramps are speakers. Several feet away from the speakers are grills being manned by Emilio at one and The Eastern European at the other, flipping the meat and collecting the money. Fans are getting burgers and hot dogs and sausages. Condiment tables are next to the grills. We take care of our fans.
Off to one side of the ring is an actual table instead of the trusty refrigerator box that was the announcer table for many shows. Sitting at the table is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and Dean! They are absolutely beaming with happiness. They have new chairs, new microphones, new everything!! ~
Zybala: Ladies and gentlemen watching at home, welcome back to The Yard!! I'm Mike Zybala and besides me as always, The Original Outsider, President Dean!
Dean: It's great to be Fuding back, sucka! Outsiders has gotten a breath of new life and this time, we ain't going nowhere! We have three exciting matches tonight! Including the rematch every Yardie has been waiting for; Uber-Man, now known as Ubertaker, versus Outsider's World champion "The Janitor" Peter Vaughn!
Zybala: Plus a very special surprise that should be coming out very soon!!
~ Fireworks suddenly go off throughout the yard, despite the fact that it's day time and bright out. The fans don't care. They hoot and holler and cheer at the display of Fourth of July level sky bursters. The Mariachi Band stops playing as the speakers come alive with the Europe version of "Final Countdown." The cheers get louder as Online Championship Wrestling ring announcer extraordinaire Belvedere steps out from behind the curtain! He looks as dapper as ever as he walks down the lawn and enters the ring. The music fades out as Belvedere raises the microphone, but is cut off by the Yardies chanting "BEL-VE-DERE!! BEL-VE-DERE!" He smiles at the show of love. The chanting dies out after a few moments and Belvedere does what he does best…. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen!! Welcome to Outsiders Championship Wrestling: DYSTOPIA!! Allow me to introduce Outsiders' head referee; Mitch!!
~ "Because I Got High" by Afro-Man hits the speakers as Mitch walks out from behind the curtain and makes his way down to the ring. The fans cheer as Mitch enters the ring, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a lighter and blunt, and sparks it up. Belvedere gives a mild look of annoyance, but he is a professional and he has a job to do. The music dies down as Belvedere raises the microphone and here we go……. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….
~ ZZ Tio's "Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers" starts playing over the speakers and a large man makes his way out onto the ramp. He looks around the yard and shrugs. There is a mix of cheers and boos as the man walks past them. ~
Belvedere: Hailing from The Mountains of West Virginia, he weighs in at 280 pounds and stand at Six feet Eight inches. This is Frank Dylan James!!
~ FDJ gets to the ring and his music stops. He panders to the crowd to kill time while waiting for his opponent. Since it's Ehud; he'll be waiting a while. Suddenly, "Like a Prayer" by Madonna starts to play. ~
Zybala: Wait a minute, Dean. This isn't Ehud's music!
Dean: It is now, sucka! He never filled out an Outsiders application. So he's stuck with Madonna!
~The fans don't seem to mind as everyone is cheering and singing along to the music. The cheers get louder as Ehud shuffles his way out onto the ramp! He is throwing punches in the air, loosing up his arms. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent! He is the defeater of the Time-traveling Grimace! He is Ehud of Moab!!!
~ The cheers peter out because Ehud has only made it halfway down the ramp, and they don't want to wear out their voices. After a few minutes Ehud finally gets to the bottom of the ramp, though most of the fans have stopped paying attention and focus on their phones instead. Suddenly, a very large someone enters the yard and goes behind Ehud! The fans that are watching give out a huge pop for the person. It's The Big Bifford!! He is adorned in the magical fleece. The other fans look up and the pop gets even louder!! Bifford picks up Ehud and carries him to the ring and rolls him under the ropes. As Ehud slowly gets to his feet, Biff reaches an enormous hand into the fleece, produces some Magical Confetti and throws it in the air. Bifford starts to walk away, notices Dean sitting at the announcers table and walks over.~
Bifford: Drinks after the show?
Dean: Hells yeah, Sucka!
Bifford: Cool. Don't bring Zybala. He still hasn't given me the shoes he owes me.
Zybala: Stay away from my shoes!!
Bifford: (Now ignoring Zybala) I'm glad you're black again, Dean. White didn't suit you.
~ Bifford throws some more confetti in the air and walks away, leaving everyone in confusion. Let's go back to the ring. Mitch has just got done checking Ehud and FDJ, and calls for the bell. James looks like he's ready to tear his much older opponent, but Ehud is staring at Mitch smoking his blunt while waiting for the match to begin. Ehud shuffles over to Mitch and smacks the blunt on to the mat. Mitch looks at Ehud in horror and rage. Mitch starts yelling about respecting the ref's pot, and Ehud yells back about there is no smoking allowed in his county. As the two argue, James bends over, grabs the blunt and takes a hit. Mitch sees this while arguing with Ehud and becomes absolutely livid. He yells at James about asking permission when a much louder ROAR eclipses Mitch's yelling. The fans cheer as they know whats coming. ~
Dean: MOTHER Fudger!!
Zybala: IT'S THE SQUASH-NESS MONSTER!!
~Dean looks annoyed as hell. Suddenly, the wooden fence behind the bleachers explodes into splinters as a large person wearing a hairy beast costume, and a large squash costume over it menacingly stomps into the yard. The Squash-ness Monster makes its way towards the ring as FDJ looks confused. Ehud, on the other hand, looks angry. He starts yelling about The Grimace evolving. Ehud yells at FDJ to pick him up and throw him at the creature, which James is more than happy to oblige. He lifts his opponent over his head and heaves Ehud out of the ring towards the monster. Squash-ness catches the flailing Ehud in its arms, then lifts him in the gorilla press position. In an impressive show of Power, It then chucks a punching Ehud like a lawn dart OVER the top rope right at a nearby FDJ! The force of the throw adds to the power of Ehud's punch that catches the man right in the throat! Squash-ness shrugs and leaves ringside as the combo of Ehud's weight and throat punch causes James to fall to his back with Ehud on top of him. Mitch goes to make the count!!~
Mitch: ONETWOTHREE!!!
~Mitch makes a very fast three count and takes the blunt out from FDJ's lips that somehow managed not to fall out. Ehud makes his way to his feet as Mitch stands up.~
Zybala: James just learned the number one rule of the yard.
Dean: Never takes Mitch's weed without permission! Not a hard lesson to learn and it's led to Ehud getting his first win in Outsiders.
~ Mitch raises the hand of Ehud as James rolls out of the ring, looking disappointed. He heads towards the house as Ehud celebrates in the ring. By celebrating, I mean he is raises his arms up and down as fast as he can, which looks like slow motion to us. Ehud finally starts to leave the ring as Belvedere enters. He knows Ehud will take a while. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Making her way to the ring first…..She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!
~ "Don't You (Forget About Me) hits the speakers as Haim stumbles out from behind the curtain. She is holding a beer in her one and only hand. She tilts her head back and downs the remaining contents before tossing the empty can to the side of the ramp. Cori walks the best she can to the ring, trying to high five Ehud as he slowly makes his way back to the house. Cori then ventures over to one of the community beer coolers and grabs another beer. She opens it skillfully with her one and only hand, and makes her way back to the ring. She grabs the bottom rope and struggles to pull herself up. After a few attempts, she finally gets on the mat and rolls under the ropes. Cori then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well; as is tradition with the song from The Breakfast Club. ~
Zybala: Cori is looking for her first win tonight.
Dean: Didn't she win the battle royal we had?
Zybala: Fine, her first single's win.
Dean: She may not be able to last through the match. She seems pretty drunk already.
~ Haim is leaning against the ropes as she keeps drinking. Belvedere ignores this display of public drunkenness and continues.~
Belvedere: And her opponent… Hailing from The Midlands, England. Weighing in at 11 stones. He is "The Lord of Dashing" Lord Allton!!
~ "Real Good Looking Boy" by The Who hits the speakers as Allton rolls out from behind the curtain onto the ramp. The fans boo this smug bastard as he rolls his way to the ring. A few fans reach out for high fives, but Allton slaps those hands away. He is too pretty to be touched by these hideous peasants; in his mind anyway. He gets to the ring and is stumped. Zybala stands up and shouts something in Spanish at The Mariachi Band. They put down their instruments and run over to help Allton. They lift him up out of his wheelchair and roll him in the ring. They then lift the wheelchair up and over the ropes, then put a livid Allton back in the chair. Belvedere exits the ring and Mitch calls for the bell. ~
Dean: And here we are with our second match of the night.
Zybala: Will it be as short as the last one?
~ Allton charges at Haim, ramming his wheelchair into her knees. Cori drops down on top of Allton, who quickly grabs her only arm and traps her in the Anaconda Vice! ~
Zybala: I guess that answers my question.
Dean: Lord Allton locks in his Python Grip!!
Zybala: How can Cori tap? She only has one arm and that is currently occupied with getting fucked up!
~ Cori is yelling in pain as Allton sinches the hold in tighter. Mitch is checking for a tap out, but not really sure how to go about it. Cori struggles for a few moments before she flails her hand around, screaming that she quits! Allton keeps Cori locked in the hold before Mitch physically makes him release the hold. Allton looks very pleased with himself.~
Belvedere: Here is your by way of submission, Lord Allton!!
~ Mitch raises Allton's hand in victory as "The Lord of Dashing" soaks in the boos raining down on him. He then wheels over to the ropes and yells at The Mariachi Band to help him out of the ring. They rush over to do just that. ~
Zybala: Cori just can't seem to catch a break in Outsiders.
Dean: She's still young, sucka. There are many more chances for her to turn her luck around.
Zybala: Maybe she should stop pre-match drinking?
Dean: Maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself. There is nothing wrong with a little pre-gaming.
Zybala: Whatever dude. It looks like the Band finally got Allton out of the ring. You know what that means!
Dean: It's time for the main Fuding event!!
Zybala: Not yet. It's time for a fifteen minute intermission!
~ Since the color commentary mics are hooked up to the house speakers, the fans cheer at the chance to get up and stretch. Many make a dash for the port-o-potties, some go get food from Emilio and E.E., others get beers from the community coolers. This goes on for Fifteen minutes and everyone heads back to their seats. Belvedere is back in the ring with microphone in hand. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall and it is your main event of the evening!!
~ The fans cheer at this announcement! Dark, ominous music begins to play. A cloud of manufactured mist fills the entrance area as a cloaked Ubertaker makes his way from behind the curtain. The cheers turn to boos, for this isn't the same Uber that once fought in the yard. This is an OnlineCW version, and they don't take kindly to him anymore. Ubertaker pauses at the top of the ramp, looking super ominous with the cloak's hood covering his head. Wild laughter is heard as Tony the Spider steps out, his circular shades cover his eyes…and the traditional TONY THE SPIDER fanny pack adorns his waist. Behind them struts JAM G and Deangelo Vickers holding the OCW tag team titles. Tony goes behind Ubertaker, reaches up to grab the hood and pulls it back. The fans explode in cheers as we see Uber wearing his original costume! The spooky music stops and is replaced by Nickleback's "Hero!" and the fans get even louder. THIS! This man is their Uber-Man! ~
Dean: He's Fuding back! No more brooding Taker Poop! Uber is the Fuding hero again!
Zybala: And listen to that reaction, Dean-o! The fans are loving it!
~ Uber-Man takes off the cloak completely, revealing his original costume. He then makes his way down the ramp followed by The M.o.P. Along the way, a young fan yells out “HEY UBER!” He turns and smiles, and gives the kid a high-five. Uber is high-fiving everyone he can on his way to the ring. The quartet reaches the ring and climbs up on the apron before stepping in through the ropes. They all strike heroic poses in the ring as the music dies down.~
~ "Through the Night" by Arimachi Masahiko hits the speakers as Peter Vaughn walks into the yard. The fans cheer him as well, showing respect to the only two time Outsider's champ. He's clad in his usual janitorial garb and clutching his trusty broom, with the Outsiders title firmly around his waist. Vaughn makes his way to the ring, high fiving the fans along the way. He sets the broom on the outside of the ring and climbs in. He walks past Uber-Man and company to one of the corners, climbs to the middle turnbuckle, takes off the belt and holds it high above his head. Vaughn climbs down, turns to face Uber and waits confidently. Belvedere stands in the middle of the ring. ~
Belvedere: In the corner to my right. He is accompanied by The Ministry of Parkness and hails from his secret lair is in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing 190 pounds of justice, he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions! This is The UUUUUUUUUUUUUBER-MAN!!
~ The fans cheer and Uber-Man strikes a heroic pose. The fans quiet down so Belvedere can continue. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent, standing in the corner to my left. He stands at Six Feet, Two Inches and weighs in tonight at 196 pounds. He is your reigning, and defending Outsider's Heavyweight Champion of the World!!! He is "The Janitor" PEEEETTEERRR VAAAAAAAAUGHN!!
~ The fans cheer for their champion, who raises the belt high. Vaughn hands the belt to Mitch as Belvedere exits the ring. Mitch shows the belt to Uber-Man before standing in the middle of the ring, taking the belt high in both hands. Mitch then hands the belt to Belvedere outside of the ring and calls for the bell. ~
Dean: Here we go, Mikey Z! The rematch for the ages. Vaughn versus Uber TWO, Yardie-Boogaloo!
Zybala: Will the hero become the champion? Or will Vaughn continue his impressive, almost 22 month reign?
~Uber-Man and Vaughn shake hands. After the sign of respect, the two competitors circle each other, looking for an opening. They lock up and Vaughn quickly gets the advantage and grabs Uber in a side headlock. Uber pushes him back into the ropes, breaking the hold and flings him to the other side. Vaughn bounces off the ropes and comes charging at Uber, knocking him down with a shoulder tackle. Vaughn looks down at his opponent and hits the ropes again. Uber is quick to his feet and meets a returning Vaughn with a hip toss attempt. Vaughn counters by flipping all the way over and lands on his feet. He grabs Uber from behind, ducks his head under Uber's arm, and tries a back suplex, but Uber-Man counters by landing on his feet behind Vaughn! Uber grabs Vaughn around the waist and goes for a German Suplex. Uber-Man lifts Vaughn and falls backwards, but Vaughn manages to escape the maneuver by flipping backwards, landing on his feet as Uber falls on his back. Vaughn quickly covers Uber-Man, but he kicks out before Mitch can even get in position.
Both men are quick to their feet and square off again. Uber goes for a lock up, but Vaughn side steps and ducks around his opponent. He locks Uber-Man in a Full Nelson and lifts him up, looking a Full Nelson Slam. Uber breaks his arms free and rolls forward; snaring Vaughn with a small package pin attempt. Mitch can't even move before Vaughn kicks out. Both men roll to theirs backs and simultaneously kip-up to their feet! The fans go wild at this fast paced back and forth with a "This Is Awesome" chant. The two opponents stare at each other, neither giving an inch. ~
Zybala: Neither of these men have lost a step since they last entered an Outsiders ring!
Dean: And this is just the start! Listen to those fans! They love these guys!
~ The two lock up once again and Vaughn quickly gets Uber-Man in a side headlock. He tries to crank the pressure but Uber-Man wraps his arms around Vaughn's waist, and lifts him up with a back body drop! Both competitors hit the mat but quickly get to their feet. Vaughn charges in for a clothesline but Uber ducks. He gets behind Vaughn, grabs him, and drops him with another backdrop to the approval of the fans! Frustrated, Vaughn gets to his feet, albeit a bit slower this time. He grabs Uber by the wrist and whips him into the ropes. Uber-Man hits the ropes, bounces back, and Vaughn lunges forward with a superkick! The fans are a mix of boos and cheers as he cracks Uber right on the chin, making him fall back into the ropes!! The Yards resident superhero bounces off the ropes and spears Vaughn to the mat!! Both wrestlers are down!!!! The fans are trying to rally the men to their feet as they crawl around on the mat.
Vaughn slowly crawls to the ropes and starts to pull himself up as Uber slowly stands up under his own power. Uber-Man gets to his feet first and sneaks behind Vaughn. Uber tries to whip Vaughn into the opposite ropes, but Vaughn holds on to the ropes. Uber knees him in the stomach, which loosens Vaughn's hold. Uber tries to throw Vaughn again, which is somewhat a success. Vaughn reverses however and throws Uber at the ropes. Uber holds on to the ropes instead of bouncing back. Vaughn charges towards Uber, who lowers his head at the last minute, and flips Vaughn over the top rope! Vaughn recovers and lands on the apron. Uber-Man turns around and is met with a forearm to the face from Vaughn. Uber-Man stumbles away from the ropes, and Vaughn gets poised, grabbing the top rope. As soon as Uber turns to face him, Vaughn jumps on the top rope, ready to attack!! Uber sees this and jumps on the top rope as well! In a display of perfect balance, Uber-Man grabs Vaughn and leaps off the top of the rope with a picture perfect Spanish Fly!! Both men hit the mat hard as the fans lose their Poop! "Holy Poop" can be heard throughout the yard as Uber-Man slowly crawls on top of Vaughn. Mitch makes the count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two…..
Thr..….NO!
~ Vaughn gets a shoulder up at the last second and Uber looks stunned! He gets to his feet and tries to pick up Vaughn, but Vaughn rolls him up in a small package! Mitch gets in position again… ~
Mitch: One……
Two……..
T…….kickout!
~ Uber-Man kicks out as the Yardies clap and show their appreciation. Both men slowly try to get to their feet.~
Zybala: Two near falls and two kick out! Neither man wants to eat the loss tonight!
Dean: Did you see that Fuding Spanish Fly?! Where did Uber-Man pull that from?!? These two are setting the standard for Outsiders tonight!
~ Vaughn is the first to his feet and waits for Uber-Man to raise. When he does, Vaughn charges at him with a clothesline and knocks him over the top rope. Uber tumbles to the grass below and Tony, JAM G and Vickers run to his aid. As The Ministry tries to help Uber to his feet, they try talking words of encouragement to their leader. Vaughn sees them all standing together, charges towards their direction, leaps over the top rope and lands hard on top of The Ministry!! The fans cheer as Vaughn stands up from the mess of bodies and pounds his chest as he lets out a primal shout of victory. Vaughn pulls Uber-Man from the pile of bodies and rolls him in the ring. Vaughn climbs in after him, and starts stomping away at Uber-Man before climbing to the top rope. Vaughn gets his balance and leaps off with a Shooting Star Leg Drop! He lands squarely on Uber-Man to the cheers of the fans! ~
Zybala: The Plunge! This is the same move Vaughn used to beat Uber last time! It's all over!
Dean: Mitch is starting the count, sucka!!!
Mitch: One!!!
Two!!!
THRE!!!.....NO!!
~ Vaughn is besides himself! He asks Mitch if the count wasn't three. Mitch confirms the two and Vaughn is upset. He turns back to Uber-man and drags him to the middle of the ring. Vaughn then grabs Uber's leg and locks him in a figure four! Vaughn wrenches back as Uber screams in pain! Mitch asks Uber-Man if he wants to quit, but Uber says no. He screams in pain as Vaughn starts punching Uber's knee, then wrenches back again! The M.o.P. starts pounding on the mat to rally Uber, who seems to be fading away from the pain. Mitch lifts up Uber's arm, which falls to the mat. Mitch lifts his arm again, and again it falls. Mitch lifts the hand a third time and the fans explode with cheers as Uber defiantly holds his arm up. Uber-Man manages to roll over on his stomach, reversing the pressure to Vaughn's leg, who releases the hold to stop the pain.
Vaughn gets to his feet and starts to stomp away at Uber's left leg, softening it up. Uber cries out in pain as he tries to protect himself, but Vaughn is relentless. He grabs Uber's leg again and gives a couple of knee strikes to Uber's knee. Feeling like he's done enough damage, Vaughn attempts another Figure Four, but Uber-Man manages to kick Vaughn away with his good leg. Vaughn stumbles away as Uber tries to get to his feet, his left leg buckling a little, but able to support the weight. Vaughn rushes over and boots see Uber in the gut, doubling the hero over. Vaughn sets Uber up for a powerbomb and lifts him up on his shoulders. Uber-man fights back, punching away at Vaughn's head, causing the champ to lose his grip. Still on Vaughn's shoulders, Uber spins himself to the back, wraps his legs around Vaughn's head, flips backwards and nail the champ with a Reverse-Rana! Both men are down as the fans are alive with cheers! They are trying to urge Uber and Vaughn back to their feet!
Vaughn is first up as Uber is using the ropes to not only pull himself up, but also help support his bum leg. Vaughn is trying to shake out the cobwebs as he stumbles towards Uber-Man. Vaughn kicks at Uber's leg again, but Uber catches the leg and pulls Vaughn closer. He lifts Vaughn up and quickly falls forward with The Uber Crush!!! ( World's Strongest Slam) Instead of making the cover, Uber-man grabs his leg and groans in pain. He uses the ropes again to get to his feet and drags himself to the corner. He slowly climbs the corner and gingerly stands on the top turnbuckle. Uber-man looks down at the prone Vaughn and leaps off the top with a Swanton! Uber-man crashes on top of Vaughn and makes the cover! ~
Mitch: ONE…….
TWO…….
THREE!!!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell as the fans explode in cheers. The M.o.P. rushes in the ring and lifts Uber up his feet. Belvedere enters the ring with the belt and hands it to Mitch. Mitch then hands the title over to Uber-Man, who hugs the title close to his chest and cries manly tears of joy!! ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and NEW Outsider's Champion, THE UBER-MAN!!!
Zybala: What an amazing win! I can't believe it!
Dean: We have a new champion and it is our resident superhero! Hopefully we will see you all at the next episode of Dystopia!
Zybala: For President Dean, I'm Mike Zybala! Good fight, good night!
The Mariachi Band is playing a mariachi version of The Final Countdown by Europe and the Yardies are digging it. The community coolers are filled with Labatt Blue Beer and Budweiser. No more Pabst Blue Ribbon here. We look towards the main house and see that a ramp has been built leading to the back door, which has a curtain draped over it. On either side of the ramps are speakers. Several feet away from the speakers are grills being manned by Emilio at one and The Eastern European at the other, flipping the meat and collecting the money. Fans are getting burgers and hot dogs and sausages. Condiment tables are next to the grills. We take care of our fans.
Off to one side of the ring is an actual table instead of the trusty refrigerator box that was the announcer table for many shows. Sitting at the table is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and Dean! They are absolutely beaming with happiness. They have new chairs, new microphones, new everything!! ~
Zybala: Ladies and gentlemen watching at home, welcome back to The Yard!! I'm Mike Zybala and besides me as always, The Original Outsider, President Dean!
Dean: It's great to be Fuding back, sucka! Outsiders has gotten a breath of new life and this time, we ain't going nowhere! We have three exciting matches tonight! Including the rematch every Yardie has been waiting for; Uber-Man, now known as Ubertaker, versus Outsider's World champion "The Janitor" Peter Vaughn!
Zybala: Plus a very special surprise that should be coming out very soon!!
~ Fireworks suddenly go off throughout the yard, despite the fact that it's day time and bright out. The fans don't care. They hoot and holler and cheer at the display of Fourth of July level sky bursters. The Mariachi Band stops playing as the speakers come alive with the Europe version of "Final Countdown." The cheers get louder as Online Championship Wrestling ring announcer extraordinaire Belvedere steps out from behind the curtain! He looks as dapper as ever as he walks down the lawn and enters the ring. The music fades out as Belvedere raises the microphone, but is cut off by the Yardies chanting "BEL-VE-DERE!! BEL-VE-DERE!" He smiles at the show of love. The chanting dies out after a few moments and Belvedere does what he does best…. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen!! Welcome to Outsiders Championship Wrestling: DYSTOPIA!! Allow me to introduce Outsiders' head referee; Mitch!!
~ "Because I Got High" by Afro-Man hits the speakers as Mitch walks out from behind the curtain and makes his way down to the ring. The fans cheer as Mitch enters the ring, reaches into his pocket, pulls out a lighter and blunt, and sparks it up. Belvedere gives a mild look of annoyance, but he is a professional and he has a job to do. The music dies down as Belvedere raises the microphone and here we go……. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….
~ ZZ Tio's "Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers" starts playing over the speakers and a large man makes his way out onto the ramp. He looks around the yard and shrugs. There is a mix of cheers and boos as the man walks past them. ~
Belvedere: Hailing from The Mountains of West Virginia, he weighs in at 280 pounds and stand at Six feet Eight inches. This is Frank Dylan James!!
~ FDJ gets to the ring and his music stops. He panders to the crowd to kill time while waiting for his opponent. Since it's Ehud; he'll be waiting a while. Suddenly, "Like a Prayer" by Madonna starts to play. ~
Zybala: Wait a minute, Dean. This isn't Ehud's music!
Dean: It is now, sucka! He never filled out an Outsiders application. So he's stuck with Madonna!
~The fans don't seem to mind as everyone is cheering and singing along to the music. The cheers get louder as Ehud shuffles his way out onto the ramp! He is throwing punches in the air, loosing up his arms. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent! He is the defeater of the Time-traveling Grimace! He is Ehud of Moab!!!
~ The cheers peter out because Ehud has only made it halfway down the ramp, and they don't want to wear out their voices. After a few minutes Ehud finally gets to the bottom of the ramp, though most of the fans have stopped paying attention and focus on their phones instead. Suddenly, a very large someone enters the yard and goes behind Ehud! The fans that are watching give out a huge pop for the person. It's The Big Bifford!! He is adorned in the magical fleece. The other fans look up and the pop gets even louder!! Bifford picks up Ehud and carries him to the ring and rolls him under the ropes. As Ehud slowly gets to his feet, Biff reaches an enormous hand into the fleece, produces some Magical Confetti and throws it in the air. Bifford starts to walk away, notices Dean sitting at the announcers table and walks over.~
Bifford: Drinks after the show?
Dean: Hells yeah, Sucka!
Bifford: Cool. Don't bring Zybala. He still hasn't given me the shoes he owes me.
Zybala: Stay away from my shoes!!
Bifford: (Now ignoring Zybala) I'm glad you're black again, Dean. White didn't suit you.
~ Bifford throws some more confetti in the air and walks away, leaving everyone in confusion. Let's go back to the ring. Mitch has just got done checking Ehud and FDJ, and calls for the bell. James looks like he's ready to tear his much older opponent, but Ehud is staring at Mitch smoking his blunt while waiting for the match to begin. Ehud shuffles over to Mitch and smacks the blunt on to the mat. Mitch looks at Ehud in horror and rage. Mitch starts yelling about respecting the ref's pot, and Ehud yells back about there is no smoking allowed in his county. As the two argue, James bends over, grabs the blunt and takes a hit. Mitch sees this while arguing with Ehud and becomes absolutely livid. He yells at James about asking permission when a much louder ROAR eclipses Mitch's yelling. The fans cheer as they know whats coming. ~
Dean: MOTHER Fudger!!
Zybala: IT'S THE SQUASH-NESS MONSTER!!
~Dean looks annoyed as hell. Suddenly, the wooden fence behind the bleachers explodes into splinters as a large person wearing a hairy beast costume, and a large squash costume over it menacingly stomps into the yard. The Squash-ness Monster makes its way towards the ring as FDJ looks confused. Ehud, on the other hand, looks angry. He starts yelling about The Grimace evolving. Ehud yells at FDJ to pick him up and throw him at the creature, which James is more than happy to oblige. He lifts his opponent over his head and heaves Ehud out of the ring towards the monster. Squash-ness catches the flailing Ehud in its arms, then lifts him in the gorilla press position. In an impressive show of Power, It then chucks a punching Ehud like a lawn dart OVER the top rope right at a nearby FDJ! The force of the throw adds to the power of Ehud's punch that catches the man right in the throat! Squash-ness shrugs and leaves ringside as the combo of Ehud's weight and throat punch causes James to fall to his back with Ehud on top of him. Mitch goes to make the count!!~
Mitch: ONETWOTHREE!!!
~Mitch makes a very fast three count and takes the blunt out from FDJ's lips that somehow managed not to fall out. Ehud makes his way to his feet as Mitch stands up.~
Zybala: James just learned the number one rule of the yard.
Dean: Never takes Mitch's weed without permission! Not a hard lesson to learn and it's led to Ehud getting his first win in Outsiders.
~ Mitch raises the hand of Ehud as James rolls out of the ring, looking disappointed. He heads towards the house as Ehud celebrates in the ring. By celebrating, I mean he is raises his arms up and down as fast as he can, which looks like slow motion to us. Ehud finally starts to leave the ring as Belvedere enters. He knows Ehud will take a while. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Making her way to the ring first…..She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!
~ "Don't You (Forget About Me) hits the speakers as Haim stumbles out from behind the curtain. She is holding a beer in her one and only hand. She tilts her head back and downs the remaining contents before tossing the empty can to the side of the ramp. Cori walks the best she can to the ring, trying to high five Ehud as he slowly makes his way back to the house. Cori then ventures over to one of the community beer coolers and grabs another beer. She opens it skillfully with her one and only hand, and makes her way back to the ring. She grabs the bottom rope and struggles to pull herself up. After a few attempts, she finally gets on the mat and rolls under the ropes. Cori then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well; as is tradition with the song from The Breakfast Club. ~
Zybala: Cori is looking for her first win tonight.
Dean: Didn't she win the battle royal we had?
Zybala: Fine, her first single's win.
Dean: She may not be able to last through the match. She seems pretty drunk already.
~ Haim is leaning against the ropes as she keeps drinking. Belvedere ignores this display of public drunkenness and continues.~
Belvedere: And her opponent… Hailing from The Midlands, England. Weighing in at 11 stones. He is "The Lord of Dashing" Lord Allton!!
~ "Real Good Looking Boy" by The Who hits the speakers as Allton rolls out from behind the curtain onto the ramp. The fans boo this smug bastard as he rolls his way to the ring. A few fans reach out for high fives, but Allton slaps those hands away. He is too pretty to be touched by these hideous peasants; in his mind anyway. He gets to the ring and is stumped. Zybala stands up and shouts something in Spanish at The Mariachi Band. They put down their instruments and run over to help Allton. They lift him up out of his wheelchair and roll him in the ring. They then lift the wheelchair up and over the ropes, then put a livid Allton back in the chair. Belvedere exits the ring and Mitch calls for the bell. ~
Dean: And here we are with our second match of the night.
Zybala: Will it be as short as the last one?
~ Allton charges at Haim, ramming his wheelchair into her knees. Cori drops down on top of Allton, who quickly grabs her only arm and traps her in the Anaconda Vice! ~
Zybala: I guess that answers my question.
Dean: Lord Allton locks in his Python Grip!!
Zybala: How can Cori tap? She only has one arm and that is currently occupied with getting fucked up!
~ Cori is yelling in pain as Allton sinches the hold in tighter. Mitch is checking for a tap out, but not really sure how to go about it. Cori struggles for a few moments before she flails her hand around, screaming that she quits! Allton keeps Cori locked in the hold before Mitch physically makes him release the hold. Allton looks very pleased with himself.~
Belvedere: Here is your by way of submission, Lord Allton!!
~ Mitch raises Allton's hand in victory as "The Lord of Dashing" soaks in the boos raining down on him. He then wheels over to the ropes and yells at The Mariachi Band to help him out of the ring. They rush over to do just that. ~
Zybala: Cori just can't seem to catch a break in Outsiders.
Dean: She's still young, sucka. There are many more chances for her to turn her luck around.
Zybala: Maybe she should stop pre-match drinking?
Dean: Maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself. There is nothing wrong with a little pre-gaming.
Zybala: Whatever dude. It looks like the Band finally got Allton out of the ring. You know what that means!
Dean: It's time for the main Fuding event!!
Zybala: Not yet. It's time for a fifteen minute intermission!
~ Since the color commentary mics are hooked up to the house speakers, the fans cheer at the chance to get up and stretch. Many make a dash for the port-o-potties, some go get food from Emilio and E.E., others get beers from the community coolers. This goes on for Fifteen minutes and everyone heads back to their seats. Belvedere is back in the ring with microphone in hand. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall and it is your main event of the evening!!
~ The fans cheer at this announcement! Dark, ominous music begins to play. A cloud of manufactured mist fills the entrance area as a cloaked Ubertaker makes his way from behind the curtain. The cheers turn to boos, for this isn't the same Uber that once fought in the yard. This is an OnlineCW version, and they don't take kindly to him anymore. Ubertaker pauses at the top of the ramp, looking super ominous with the cloak's hood covering his head. Wild laughter is heard as Tony the Spider steps out, his circular shades cover his eyes…and the traditional TONY THE SPIDER fanny pack adorns his waist. Behind them struts JAM G and Deangelo Vickers holding the OCW tag team titles. Tony goes behind Ubertaker, reaches up to grab the hood and pulls it back. The fans explode in cheers as we see Uber wearing his original costume! The spooky music stops and is replaced by Nickleback's "Hero!" and the fans get even louder. THIS! This man is their Uber-Man! ~
Dean: He's Fuding back! No more brooding Taker Poop! Uber is the Fuding hero again!
Zybala: And listen to that reaction, Dean-o! The fans are loving it!
~ Uber-Man takes off the cloak completely, revealing his original costume. He then makes his way down the ramp followed by The M.o.P. Along the way, a young fan yells out “HEY UBER!” He turns and smiles, and gives the kid a high-five. Uber is high-fiving everyone he can on his way to the ring. The quartet reaches the ring and climbs up on the apron before stepping in through the ropes. They all strike heroic poses in the ring as the music dies down.~
~ "Through the Night" by Arimachi Masahiko hits the speakers as Peter Vaughn walks into the yard. The fans cheer him as well, showing respect to the only two time Outsider's champ. He's clad in his usual janitorial garb and clutching his trusty broom, with the Outsiders title firmly around his waist. Vaughn makes his way to the ring, high fiving the fans along the way. He sets the broom on the outside of the ring and climbs in. He walks past Uber-Man and company to one of the corners, climbs to the middle turnbuckle, takes off the belt and holds it high above his head. Vaughn climbs down, turns to face Uber and waits confidently. Belvedere stands in the middle of the ring. ~
Belvedere: In the corner to my right. He is accompanied by The Ministry of Parkness and hails from his secret lair is in Rancho Cucamonga, California. Weighing 190 pounds of justice, he is one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions! This is The UUUUUUUUUUUUUBER-MAN!!
~ The fans cheer and Uber-Man strikes a heroic pose. The fans quiet down so Belvedere can continue. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent, standing in the corner to my left. He stands at Six Feet, Two Inches and weighs in tonight at 196 pounds. He is your reigning, and defending Outsider's Heavyweight Champion of the World!!! He is "The Janitor" PEEEETTEERRR VAAAAAAAAUGHN!!
~ The fans cheer for their champion, who raises the belt high. Vaughn hands the belt to Mitch as Belvedere exits the ring. Mitch shows the belt to Uber-Man before standing in the middle of the ring, taking the belt high in both hands. Mitch then hands the belt to Belvedere outside of the ring and calls for the bell. ~
Dean: Here we go, Mikey Z! The rematch for the ages. Vaughn versus Uber TWO, Yardie-Boogaloo!
Zybala: Will the hero become the champion? Or will Vaughn continue his impressive, almost 22 month reign?
~Uber-Man and Vaughn shake hands. After the sign of respect, the two competitors circle each other, looking for an opening. They lock up and Vaughn quickly gets the advantage and grabs Uber in a side headlock. Uber pushes him back into the ropes, breaking the hold and flings him to the other side. Vaughn bounces off the ropes and comes charging at Uber, knocking him down with a shoulder tackle. Vaughn looks down at his opponent and hits the ropes again. Uber is quick to his feet and meets a returning Vaughn with a hip toss attempt. Vaughn counters by flipping all the way over and lands on his feet. He grabs Uber from behind, ducks his head under Uber's arm, and tries a back suplex, but Uber-Man counters by landing on his feet behind Vaughn! Uber grabs Vaughn around the waist and goes for a German Suplex. Uber-Man lifts Vaughn and falls backwards, but Vaughn manages to escape the maneuver by flipping backwards, landing on his feet as Uber falls on his back. Vaughn quickly covers Uber-Man, but he kicks out before Mitch can even get in position.
Both men are quick to their feet and square off again. Uber goes for a lock up, but Vaughn side steps and ducks around his opponent. He locks Uber-Man in a Full Nelson and lifts him up, looking a Full Nelson Slam. Uber breaks his arms free and rolls forward; snaring Vaughn with a small package pin attempt. Mitch can't even move before Vaughn kicks out. Both men roll to theirs backs and simultaneously kip-up to their feet! The fans go wild at this fast paced back and forth with a "This Is Awesome" chant. The two opponents stare at each other, neither giving an inch. ~
Zybala: Neither of these men have lost a step since they last entered an Outsiders ring!
Dean: And this is just the start! Listen to those fans! They love these guys!
~ The two lock up once again and Vaughn quickly gets Uber-Man in a side headlock. He tries to crank the pressure but Uber-Man wraps his arms around Vaughn's waist, and lifts him up with a back body drop! Both competitors hit the mat but quickly get to their feet. Vaughn charges in for a clothesline but Uber ducks. He gets behind Vaughn, grabs him, and drops him with another backdrop to the approval of the fans! Frustrated, Vaughn gets to his feet, albeit a bit slower this time. He grabs Uber by the wrist and whips him into the ropes. Uber-Man hits the ropes, bounces back, and Vaughn lunges forward with a superkick! The fans are a mix of boos and cheers as he cracks Uber right on the chin, making him fall back into the ropes!! The Yards resident superhero bounces off the ropes and spears Vaughn to the mat!! Both wrestlers are down!!!! The fans are trying to rally the men to their feet as they crawl around on the mat.
Vaughn slowly crawls to the ropes and starts to pull himself up as Uber slowly stands up under his own power. Uber-Man gets to his feet first and sneaks behind Vaughn. Uber tries to whip Vaughn into the opposite ropes, but Vaughn holds on to the ropes. Uber knees him in the stomach, which loosens Vaughn's hold. Uber tries to throw Vaughn again, which is somewhat a success. Vaughn reverses however and throws Uber at the ropes. Uber holds on to the ropes instead of bouncing back. Vaughn charges towards Uber, who lowers his head at the last minute, and flips Vaughn over the top rope! Vaughn recovers and lands on the apron. Uber-Man turns around and is met with a forearm to the face from Vaughn. Uber-Man stumbles away from the ropes, and Vaughn gets poised, grabbing the top rope. As soon as Uber turns to face him, Vaughn jumps on the top rope, ready to attack!! Uber sees this and jumps on the top rope as well! In a display of perfect balance, Uber-Man grabs Vaughn and leaps off the top of the rope with a picture perfect Spanish Fly!! Both men hit the mat hard as the fans lose their Poop! "Holy Poop" can be heard throughout the yard as Uber-Man slowly crawls on top of Vaughn. Mitch makes the count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two…..
Thr..….NO!
~ Vaughn gets a shoulder up at the last second and Uber looks stunned! He gets to his feet and tries to pick up Vaughn, but Vaughn rolls him up in a small package! Mitch gets in position again… ~
Mitch: One……
Two……..
T…….kickout!
~ Uber-Man kicks out as the Yardies clap and show their appreciation. Both men slowly try to get to their feet.~
Zybala: Two near falls and two kick out! Neither man wants to eat the loss tonight!
Dean: Did you see that Fuding Spanish Fly?! Where did Uber-Man pull that from?!? These two are setting the standard for Outsiders tonight!
~ Vaughn is the first to his feet and waits for Uber-Man to raise. When he does, Vaughn charges at him with a clothesline and knocks him over the top rope. Uber tumbles to the grass below and Tony, JAM G and Vickers run to his aid. As The Ministry tries to help Uber to his feet, they try talking words of encouragement to their leader. Vaughn sees them all standing together, charges towards their direction, leaps over the top rope and lands hard on top of The Ministry!! The fans cheer as Vaughn stands up from the mess of bodies and pounds his chest as he lets out a primal shout of victory. Vaughn pulls Uber-Man from the pile of bodies and rolls him in the ring. Vaughn climbs in after him, and starts stomping away at Uber-Man before climbing to the top rope. Vaughn gets his balance and leaps off with a Shooting Star Leg Drop! He lands squarely on Uber-Man to the cheers of the fans! ~
Zybala: The Plunge! This is the same move Vaughn used to beat Uber last time! It's all over!
Dean: Mitch is starting the count, sucka!!!
Mitch: One!!!
Two!!!
THRE!!!.....NO!!
~ Vaughn is besides himself! He asks Mitch if the count wasn't three. Mitch confirms the two and Vaughn is upset. He turns back to Uber-man and drags him to the middle of the ring. Vaughn then grabs Uber's leg and locks him in a figure four! Vaughn wrenches back as Uber screams in pain! Mitch asks Uber-Man if he wants to quit, but Uber says no. He screams in pain as Vaughn starts punching Uber's knee, then wrenches back again! The M.o.P. starts pounding on the mat to rally Uber, who seems to be fading away from the pain. Mitch lifts up Uber's arm, which falls to the mat. Mitch lifts his arm again, and again it falls. Mitch lifts the hand a third time and the fans explode with cheers as Uber defiantly holds his arm up. Uber-Man manages to roll over on his stomach, reversing the pressure to Vaughn's leg, who releases the hold to stop the pain.
Vaughn gets to his feet and starts to stomp away at Uber's left leg, softening it up. Uber cries out in pain as he tries to protect himself, but Vaughn is relentless. He grabs Uber's leg again and gives a couple of knee strikes to Uber's knee. Feeling like he's done enough damage, Vaughn attempts another Figure Four, but Uber-Man manages to kick Vaughn away with his good leg. Vaughn stumbles away as Uber tries to get to his feet, his left leg buckling a little, but able to support the weight. Vaughn rushes over and boots see Uber in the gut, doubling the hero over. Vaughn sets Uber up for a powerbomb and lifts him up on his shoulders. Uber-man fights back, punching away at Vaughn's head, causing the champ to lose his grip. Still on Vaughn's shoulders, Uber spins himself to the back, wraps his legs around Vaughn's head, flips backwards and nail the champ with a Reverse-Rana! Both men are down as the fans are alive with cheers! They are trying to urge Uber and Vaughn back to their feet!
Vaughn is first up as Uber is using the ropes to not only pull himself up, but also help support his bum leg. Vaughn is trying to shake out the cobwebs as he stumbles towards Uber-Man. Vaughn kicks at Uber's leg again, but Uber catches the leg and pulls Vaughn closer. He lifts Vaughn up and quickly falls forward with The Uber Crush!!! ( World's Strongest Slam) Instead of making the cover, Uber-man grabs his leg and groans in pain. He uses the ropes again to get to his feet and drags himself to the corner. He slowly climbs the corner and gingerly stands on the top turnbuckle. Uber-man looks down at the prone Vaughn and leaps off the top with a Swanton! Uber-man crashes on top of Vaughn and makes the cover! ~
Mitch: ONE…….
TWO…….
THREE!!!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell as the fans explode in cheers. The M.o.P. rushes in the ring and lifts Uber up his feet. Belvedere enters the ring with the belt and hands it to Mitch. Mitch then hands the title over to Uber-Man, who hugs the title close to his chest and cries manly tears of joy!! ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner and NEW Outsider's Champion, THE UBER-MAN!!!
Zybala: What an amazing win! I can't believe it!
Dean: We have a new champion and it is our resident superhero! Hopefully we will see you all at the next episode of Dystopia!
Zybala: For President Dean, I'm Mike Zybala! Good fight, good night!
