Post by zybala on Mar 19, 2024 8:12:14 GMT -5
~ It's another beautiful, Florida day in the yard. Is there any other type of day when it's time for Outsiders Championship Wrestling: Dystopia?? We're in The Yard a little early this time. The Mariachi Band is tuning up their instruments and getting on the same key. Zybala and Dean are mowing the lawn and checking for dog poop and crabgrass. Emilio and The Eastern European are at the gate collecting money and checking temperatures as The Yardies trickle into the "arena." Suddenly, E.E. starts arguing with a man and Emilio calls over Dean and Zybala. The two men jog over to the gate. ~
Zybala: What's up Double E?
E.E.: The temperature is the highest of numbers!
~ He shows the numbers to Dean and Zybala who frown at the perpetrator. ~
Dean: Come on sucka. You at 101. You need to get gone before you infect everyone.
Man: Fudge you! I know my rights! This is America!
Zybala: Sir, please leave before we get "security."
~ The Man starts arguing and screaming even more. Zybala sighs and turns to leave Dean to deal with the dude. A few minutes pass before Zybala walks back to the argument. He is now holding a Ryobi Chainsaw with the word "SECURITY" painted on it. Zybala revs up the chainsaw and the arguing stops. Zybala looks at the guy. ~
Zybala: Sir. You can either leave unscathed now, or you can deal with "Security" here and we become your typical Florida story.
~ Zybala looks at the guy. He is fuming! He glares at Zybala, who just revs the chainsaw again. He flips off Zybala and Dean and basically everyone there before he reluctantly leaves the driveway. Calm has returned back to The Yard. Everyone starts filing in again, with no arguments about getting their temperature taken. The fans fill in the chairs and bleachers as The Mariachi Band starts playing… something wonderful….
youtu.be/L1kdwNyIrPs
The Band finishes and The Yardies lose their freaking minds! They are amazed and pumped! We go over to the now sitting Zybala and Dean! ~
Dean: Holy Poop! That was epic! Welcome suckas to another episode of Dystopia! I'm the O.G. Outsider, Dean and joined as always by your homie and mine, Mike Zybala.
Zybala: Thanks Dean! We got another set of tournament matches today as we will see "The Lord of the Underworld" Hades take on an old school Outsider, "Hulking" Herbert Harris. Then the main event will feature another newcomer, Hector Malvado, if he ever shows up, facing former X-Factor champion "Lord of Dashing" Lord Allton.
Dean: Maybe Hector got stuck in traffic. Who knows. Just like nobody knows which sucka will move on to the next round, and which ones will just suck. Belvedere; take it away homie!
~ While Zybala and Dean were talking, Belvedere and Mitch already made their way to the ring. Belvedere raises the microphone and let the magic begin! ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first…from the depths of the realm of the dead, he is the "God of the Underworld" Hades!!
~ Down with the Sickness by Disturbed
Zeus emerges, his head held high. Hades emerges. Standing shoulder to shoulder, the two brothers from Olympus make their way to the ring as arrogantly as their tiny bodies will allow. Zeus climbs the steps. Hades rolls in under the bottom rope. Zeus finds a nearby corner and ascends, holding his arms out to soak in the worship. Hades drops to the mat and wiggles around, sticking his tongue out, trying to roll his eyes into the back of the head (only half achieved). He seems to be attempting to seduce people into joining him in the underworld. All of this ridiculousness stops and both men return to the mat, on their feet. Zeus rolls out of the ring as Hades waits for his opponent. ~
Belvedere: and his opponent…. Hailing Key West Florida! Weighing in at 430 pounds, this is "Hulking" Hubert H. Harris!!
~ Dean clicks away at the laptop. "Sexy and I Know It" starts to play over the speakers. The fans cheer as Harris comes out dancing to his music. He is clad in a large pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt that could be better described as a moomoo. Inscribed on it a 4H logo, obviously for his initials. Harris gets in the ring and the music stops. Dean rings the cow bell and the match is on! Before anything happens, Harris doubles over trying to catch his breath. ~
Dean: Big homie is winded again from dancing all the way to the ring. Sucka still hasn't learned his lesson.
Zybala: Winded or not, Hades looks hesitant to go on the attack!
~ While Harris is still bent over, Hades starts complaining to Mitch and Zeus! He's whining about nobody telling him that he had to face a Titan! Zeus hops on the apron and calls his brother over. Hades walks over and Zeus gives him a brief pep talk and a brotherly hug. He reminds Hades that he is a GOD and they beat the Titans before. Hades is now pumped and turns to face Harris. Hades runs and tries to knock the big guy over with a shoulder block, but bounces off and falls on his ass! He gets back up, and starts peppering Harris with lefts and rights. Sadly for Hades, Harris's extra bulk seems to be absorbing the blows. Harris grabs Hades and lifts him with a Gorilla Press and drops him chest first on the mat! ~
Dean: With punches that would make Glass Joe feel ashamed, Hades tried to beat down huge sucka.
Zybala: And like Buffalo playoff dreams, it amounted to nothing.
~ 4H gives a few kicks to Hades to soften him up. Harris then "runs" at the ropes the best he can and comes back towards Hades. Harris does a little hop in the air as Zeus is screaming at Hades to move! Harris comes crashing down but only hits the mat as Hades rolls out of the way! Hades scrambles to his feet as Harris starts rolling back and forth to get himself up. Not an easy task for one as rotund as him, but he manages to sit up. Hades rushes in and nails an Underworld Dropkick (basement dropkick) to The Hulking One's face, knocking him back down! He quickly covers Harris and yells at Mitch to hurry! Before Mitch can make the count, a loud roar can be heard! The Yardies lose their Poop and cheer as The Squashness Monster kicks down the gate leading to the driveway! The seven foot tall beast makes its way to the ring as Hades looks stunned! ~
Dean: Come the Fudge on!!
Zybala: Neither of these guys cut a promo! You know that summons The Squashness Monster!
~ Zeus slides in the ring and the godly brothers hug in fear. Harris slowly recovers and rolls out of the ring. He tries to walk past the beast and go into the house, most likely to catch a nap on the couch. Squashness grabs Harris, lifts all 400 plus pounds of Harris up and drops him with a mighty bodyslam! Squashness then makes its way into the ring and starts down the godly duo. Zeus smartly books it as he wishes Hades luck. Hades tries to follow his brother but Squashness grabs Hades by the back of the neck. He lifts Hades up and nails him with a reverse chokeslam! The beast then lets out a mighty roar before it exits the ring and leaves the yard. Zeus is trying to help Hades out of the ring as Zybala calls for intermission and the fans cheer. Everyone gets up to get food or to use the port-o-potties. Our camera actually goes out to the front of the house! This is a first. ~
~ We see The Patriots standing in front of the garage. Someone is standing in front of them with a cell phone held up. They may be cutting a promo. We then cut to the street where we see a beat up low-rider convertible pulling up to the 'venue'. As the camera pans to show the driver, we see no one and instead we see two masked guys pushing the car from behind. The car comes to a stop as they both look up to see they have arrived at their destination, and as we get a better look at them we realize that they are the newly signed tag team of The Malvados! One of them, let's say Hector, since they look identical in body shape and mask, speaks. ~
Hector: Mira Victor, llegamos!!!
Victor: El Big Time!?
Hector: Si, El Big Time!
Victor: Donde esta la arena?
Hector: No Victor, no arena...
Victor: Porque?
Hector: CORONA...
Victor: Ah... Mira!
~Victor points towards the makeshift interview area where The Patriots are doing their interview with Old Glory proudly displayed behind them on the garage door. ~
Hector: El American Dream!
Victor: Si!
Hector: Vamos?
Victor: Vamos!
~Hector quickly puts the low-rider in park so it doesn't roll away and then together they sneak over and attack The Patriots from the left flank, catching them by surprise. They hit the Spruce Goose with a double forearm that causes him to run into Belle, causing her to hit her head against the garage door hard and pass out. The Malvados begin to dance the tapatio on the Goose's chest, stomping the stars and stripes out of him. Once they feel he has had it enough, Victor grabs Old Glory, ripping it off the door. ~
Victor: Ahhhhh-merica! Land of the free.
Hector: Holmes of the brave? not so mucho...
~Victor drapes the flag over his shoulders when Mike Zybala walks out front. He looks at the carnage and then at The Malvados. ~
Zybala: Hector?
Hector: Si.
Zybala: About Fuding time! Your match is next! Get in the house and get ready!
Hector:……. ¿Que?
Zybala: ¿Lucha Libre?
Hector: ¡Ahh! ¡Si!
Zybala: Tu partido es el siguiente. Preparate.
~ Zybala then points to the house and The Malvados nod. Zybala's Spanish isn't the best, but the point was made. The twins enter the house and Zybala and the Band member head back into the yard. The camera follows them as we see the fans returning to their seats and Belvedere already in the ring. It's time for the main event! ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen. The following match is scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: and it is your main event of the evening! Llegando al ring primero…. Proveniente de Not Mexico….. ¡Este es Héctor Malvado!
– Suddenly, The Mariachi Band starts to play "Si Señor" by Control Machete. The Malvado Brothers jump out of the house and onto the ramp. They look appreciatively at The Mariachi Band as they play. The Brothers make their way to the ring, one sliding under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and trying to get the crowd pumped up, to little or no avail. The Band stops playing as Victor leaves the ring and Hector waits. Suddenly, a group of clouds pass by overhead, casting an ominous shadow over the yard. The speakers start playing something.... ~
"DOWN HERE, WE ALL FLOAT!"
~ "Every 27 Years" (from IT Chapter 2) hits the speakers as Allton rolls out from behind the curtain onto the ramp, but he's not alone… nor is he just Allton. He is flanked by Tank and Vincenzo. Allton is dressed head to toe as Pennywise from IT. The fans boo this evil looking, smug bastard as he rolls his way to the ring. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… accompanied by The Family…. Hailing from The Macroverse! Weighing in "on a scale your mortal minds couldn't comprehend".... He is "The Lord of Evil" PennyLord!!
~ The Yardies boo as many shy away as PennyLord rolls past. They don't even attempt any form of contact. They are thoroughly freaked out. They aren't the only ones. We can hear Dean let out a scream. ~
Dean: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Zybala: Chill out. It's just Lord Allton in his PennyLord costume.
Dean: Man, why did the sucka have to dress like a clown. Clowns and me don't mix well.
Zybala: You're not the one facing him. Relax.
~ Dean grumbles in his seat as PennyLord is put in the ring by Vincenzo as Tank and The Mariachi band struggle to get the wheelchair in the ring, which they eventually succeed in downing after much struggling. PennyLord gets back in his chair with assistance from Tank. The Family leaves the ring as Mitch gets done checking Hector. He turns and looks at a grinning PennyLord; that's a whole bunch of nope. Mitch calls for the bell and the match is underway! Hector is trying to make heads or tails of what's going on as PennyLord rolls to the center of the ring, still grinning. It appears he is trying to be pleasant. He raises his right hand and gestures at it with his left. He is suggesting a test of strength. Hector slowly places his hand in PennyLord's and goes to lock up with the other hand, but PennyLord pushes the lever on his wheelchair and drives forward into Hector's shins! Hector starts to hobble but PennyLord stills has a grip on Hector's left hand. PennyLord switches his grip from the hand to the wrist, and makes his wheelchair spin a 360 circle, essentially twisting Hector's arm with an arm wringer. The most basic of moves, but impressive for the chair bound PennyLord. ~
Zybala: Using both the costume and the wheelchair, PennyLord has taken quite a unique advantage early on in this match.
Dean: It is impressive, but I still don't like the sucka's costume.
Zybala: It's just a costume.
Dean: It's a fuckin' clown! Besides IT, name me one horror movie with clowns where the black dude lives.
Zybala:.......
Dean: That's what I thought!
~ Hector drops to his knees and spins on them and reverses PennyLord's hold into a wristlock of his own. Hector cranks the hold before trying to grab Penny in a headlock, but it's very awkward because of the chair getting in the way. Victor shouts some words in Spanish and Hector's eyes light up. He then sits on the right arm of the wheelchair and really sinks in that side headlock! The Yardies cheer the ingenuity as PennyLord starts screening for Hector to get off. He tries shaking back and forth to shake the luchador, but Hector holds on tight. PennyLord starts to spin the wheelchair again, trying to shake off The Malvado brother. They spin and spin as The Yardies cheer and start counting the rotations! As the fans shout "FIFTEEN!", Hector finally releases the headlock and falls to the mat, dizzy and disoriented. PennyLord can't go on the attack, as he looks pretty dizzy himself. He leans forward and almost topples out of the chair, but the wheelchair is equipped with a safety belt. Vincenzo and Vicor start shouting words of encouragement for their respective guys as the fans start clapping in unison to rally the wrestlers. Hector is unsteady as he gets to his feet, but eventually stands up. He grabs PennyLord and tries to whip him into the ropes, more so out of instinct than common sense. PennyLord laughs at this feeble attempt and actually starts to move the wheelchair as if thrown. Hector thinks he's done it, not realizing that he was being humored. PennyLord hits the ropes, then starts backing up his wheelchair. Hector moves out of the way. PennyLord starts laughing his head off as he "runs" the ropes with his wheelchair, mockingly stating how strong Hector is. His English may not be great, but Hector understands that he is being taunted. Hector gets mad and as PennyLord comes back towards him, he dropkicks the former X-Factor champion in the face! PennyLord is stunned and his handle slips from the control causing the chair to cease its movement! Hector rushes over to the dazed clown and quickly wraps up his legs in a modified version of the Figure Four! PennyLord is screaming in pain as his legs and lower back are contorted in the chair! ~
Dean: What gives? I thought the sucka was paraplegic or something? Why is he hurting?
Zybala: I actually talked with Allton about it before. He's only lost feeling around his thighs. He has feeling around his calves and feet themselves though. So I'm pretty sure that this would be quite painful for him.
~ Mitch is asking PennyLord if he wants to quit, but Penny refuses and wants to fight on! The crowd is chanting "TAP!" as Hector tries to crank back on the hold, which is difficult with a seated opponent. Tank is about to step in the ring to help his boss when Vincenzo stops him and points. From the corner of the camera, we can see The Spruce Goose and Memphis Belle running through the yard towards Victor! They attack him from behind and just lay a beat down on him! Hector sees this happening and releases the Figure Four, much to the relief of PennyLord. Hector tries to go help his brother but is held back by Mitch, reminding him of the match. Hector doesn't care. He slides out of the ring as The Patriots run off. He checks on Victor, who is relatively okay and goes back into the ring. PennyLord has his head down and is breathing hard. Hector rushes over to continue the assault but PennyLord grabs Hector's arm and pulls him close. PennyLord then swings his left arm and punches Hector in the temple! Hector drops like a sack of potatoes and PennyLord starts to unbuckle himself. He falls to the mat and covers Hector as Mitch dives into position! ~
Mitch: One…….Two…….. Three!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner…… PennyLord!!
: Tank and Vincenzo get in the ring and help PennyLord up to his feet. They hold him up as he raises his arms in victory. We can see something shiny in his left hand. At closer inspection, we can see that he is wearing a pair of brass knuckles! The Yardies' boos are deafening as PennyLord gloats. The Family and The Mariachi Band go through the process of getting the wheelchair out of the ring as PennyLord sits in the corner, patiently waiting. ~
Dean: Once again, the brass knucks help the sucka to walk away with another tainted win.
Zybala: Mitch didn't catch it. Allton took advantage of the situation at ringside and did what The A-List does best. Bend the rules when the ref is distracted.
Dean: The situation ain't over yet!
~ As PennyLord gets set back in his chair and The Family make their way back in the house, probably to raid the fridge and some of Zybala's great home cooking, Victor gets in the ring to check on his brother and help him to his feet. Suddenly, The Patriots storm the ring to try to continue the beat down!! Victor quickly gets to his feet and starts brawling with the Spruce Goose as Memphis Belle and Hector go at it! The four are punching and kicking away at each other as the Yardies are cheering and encouraging the violence! ~
Dean: This is out of control, and I dig it!
Zybala: What another great night for Outsiders! Until next time, I'm Mike Zybala.
Dean: And I'm Dean. Good fight, good night.
Zybala: That's my line.
Dean: Meh. By the way, should we break those suckas up?
Zybala:..... Nah. Let them fight. The battery for "security" is dead anyways.
~ The last shot we see is The Patriots and The Malvado kicking the crap out of each other as the scene fades to black. ~
Zybala: What's up Double E?
E.E.: The temperature is the highest of numbers!
~ He shows the numbers to Dean and Zybala who frown at the perpetrator. ~
Dean: Come on sucka. You at 101. You need to get gone before you infect everyone.
Man: Fudge you! I know my rights! This is America!
Zybala: Sir, please leave before we get "security."
~ The Man starts arguing and screaming even more. Zybala sighs and turns to leave Dean to deal with the dude. A few minutes pass before Zybala walks back to the argument. He is now holding a Ryobi Chainsaw with the word "SECURITY" painted on it. Zybala revs up the chainsaw and the arguing stops. Zybala looks at the guy. ~
Zybala: Sir. You can either leave unscathed now, or you can deal with "Security" here and we become your typical Florida story.
~ Zybala looks at the guy. He is fuming! He glares at Zybala, who just revs the chainsaw again. He flips off Zybala and Dean and basically everyone there before he reluctantly leaves the driveway. Calm has returned back to The Yard. Everyone starts filing in again, with no arguments about getting their temperature taken. The fans fill in the chairs and bleachers as The Mariachi Band starts playing… something wonderful….
youtu.be/L1kdwNyIrPs
The Band finishes and The Yardies lose their freaking minds! They are amazed and pumped! We go over to the now sitting Zybala and Dean! ~
Dean: Holy Poop! That was epic! Welcome suckas to another episode of Dystopia! I'm the O.G. Outsider, Dean and joined as always by your homie and mine, Mike Zybala.
Zybala: Thanks Dean! We got another set of tournament matches today as we will see "The Lord of the Underworld" Hades take on an old school Outsider, "Hulking" Herbert Harris. Then the main event will feature another newcomer, Hector Malvado, if he ever shows up, facing former X-Factor champion "Lord of Dashing" Lord Allton.
Dean: Maybe Hector got stuck in traffic. Who knows. Just like nobody knows which sucka will move on to the next round, and which ones will just suck. Belvedere; take it away homie!
~ While Zybala and Dean were talking, Belvedere and Mitch already made their way to the ring. Belvedere raises the microphone and let the magic begin! ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first…from the depths of the realm of the dead, he is the "God of the Underworld" Hades!!
~ Down with the Sickness by Disturbed
Zeus emerges, his head held high. Hades emerges. Standing shoulder to shoulder, the two brothers from Olympus make their way to the ring as arrogantly as their tiny bodies will allow. Zeus climbs the steps. Hades rolls in under the bottom rope. Zeus finds a nearby corner and ascends, holding his arms out to soak in the worship. Hades drops to the mat and wiggles around, sticking his tongue out, trying to roll his eyes into the back of the head (only half achieved). He seems to be attempting to seduce people into joining him in the underworld. All of this ridiculousness stops and both men return to the mat, on their feet. Zeus rolls out of the ring as Hades waits for his opponent. ~
Belvedere: and his opponent…. Hailing Key West Florida! Weighing in at 430 pounds, this is "Hulking" Hubert H. Harris!!
~ Dean clicks away at the laptop. "Sexy and I Know It" starts to play over the speakers. The fans cheer as Harris comes out dancing to his music. He is clad in a large pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt that could be better described as a moomoo. Inscribed on it a 4H logo, obviously for his initials. Harris gets in the ring and the music stops. Dean rings the cow bell and the match is on! Before anything happens, Harris doubles over trying to catch his breath. ~
Dean: Big homie is winded again from dancing all the way to the ring. Sucka still hasn't learned his lesson.
Zybala: Winded or not, Hades looks hesitant to go on the attack!
~ While Harris is still bent over, Hades starts complaining to Mitch and Zeus! He's whining about nobody telling him that he had to face a Titan! Zeus hops on the apron and calls his brother over. Hades walks over and Zeus gives him a brief pep talk and a brotherly hug. He reminds Hades that he is a GOD and they beat the Titans before. Hades is now pumped and turns to face Harris. Hades runs and tries to knock the big guy over with a shoulder block, but bounces off and falls on his ass! He gets back up, and starts peppering Harris with lefts and rights. Sadly for Hades, Harris's extra bulk seems to be absorbing the blows. Harris grabs Hades and lifts him with a Gorilla Press and drops him chest first on the mat! ~
Dean: With punches that would make Glass Joe feel ashamed, Hades tried to beat down huge sucka.
Zybala: And like Buffalo playoff dreams, it amounted to nothing.
~ 4H gives a few kicks to Hades to soften him up. Harris then "runs" at the ropes the best he can and comes back towards Hades. Harris does a little hop in the air as Zeus is screaming at Hades to move! Harris comes crashing down but only hits the mat as Hades rolls out of the way! Hades scrambles to his feet as Harris starts rolling back and forth to get himself up. Not an easy task for one as rotund as him, but he manages to sit up. Hades rushes in and nails an Underworld Dropkick (basement dropkick) to The Hulking One's face, knocking him back down! He quickly covers Harris and yells at Mitch to hurry! Before Mitch can make the count, a loud roar can be heard! The Yardies lose their Poop and cheer as The Squashness Monster kicks down the gate leading to the driveway! The seven foot tall beast makes its way to the ring as Hades looks stunned! ~
Dean: Come the Fudge on!!
Zybala: Neither of these guys cut a promo! You know that summons The Squashness Monster!
~ Zeus slides in the ring and the godly brothers hug in fear. Harris slowly recovers and rolls out of the ring. He tries to walk past the beast and go into the house, most likely to catch a nap on the couch. Squashness grabs Harris, lifts all 400 plus pounds of Harris up and drops him with a mighty bodyslam! Squashness then makes its way into the ring and starts down the godly duo. Zeus smartly books it as he wishes Hades luck. Hades tries to follow his brother but Squashness grabs Hades by the back of the neck. He lifts Hades up and nails him with a reverse chokeslam! The beast then lets out a mighty roar before it exits the ring and leaves the yard. Zeus is trying to help Hades out of the ring as Zybala calls for intermission and the fans cheer. Everyone gets up to get food or to use the port-o-potties. Our camera actually goes out to the front of the house! This is a first. ~
~ We see The Patriots standing in front of the garage. Someone is standing in front of them with a cell phone held up. They may be cutting a promo. We then cut to the street where we see a beat up low-rider convertible pulling up to the 'venue'. As the camera pans to show the driver, we see no one and instead we see two masked guys pushing the car from behind. The car comes to a stop as they both look up to see they have arrived at their destination, and as we get a better look at them we realize that they are the newly signed tag team of The Malvados! One of them, let's say Hector, since they look identical in body shape and mask, speaks. ~
Hector: Mira Victor, llegamos!!!
Victor: El Big Time!?
Hector: Si, El Big Time!
Victor: Donde esta la arena?
Hector: No Victor, no arena...
Victor: Porque?
Hector: CORONA...
Victor: Ah... Mira!
~Victor points towards the makeshift interview area where The Patriots are doing their interview with Old Glory proudly displayed behind them on the garage door. ~
Hector: El American Dream!
Victor: Si!
Hector: Vamos?
Victor: Vamos!
~Hector quickly puts the low-rider in park so it doesn't roll away and then together they sneak over and attack The Patriots from the left flank, catching them by surprise. They hit the Spruce Goose with a double forearm that causes him to run into Belle, causing her to hit her head against the garage door hard and pass out. The Malvados begin to dance the tapatio on the Goose's chest, stomping the stars and stripes out of him. Once they feel he has had it enough, Victor grabs Old Glory, ripping it off the door. ~
Victor: Ahhhhh-merica! Land of the free.
Hector: Holmes of the brave? not so mucho...
~Victor drapes the flag over his shoulders when Mike Zybala walks out front. He looks at the carnage and then at The Malvados. ~
Zybala: Hector?
Hector: Si.
Zybala: About Fuding time! Your match is next! Get in the house and get ready!
Hector:……. ¿Que?
Zybala: ¿Lucha Libre?
Hector: ¡Ahh! ¡Si!
Zybala: Tu partido es el siguiente. Preparate.
~ Zybala then points to the house and The Malvados nod. Zybala's Spanish isn't the best, but the point was made. The twins enter the house and Zybala and the Band member head back into the yard. The camera follows them as we see the fans returning to their seats and Belvedere already in the ring. It's time for the main event! ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen. The following match is scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: and it is your main event of the evening! Llegando al ring primero…. Proveniente de Not Mexico….. ¡Este es Héctor Malvado!
– Suddenly, The Mariachi Band starts to play "Si Señor" by Control Machete. The Malvado Brothers jump out of the house and onto the ramp. They look appreciatively at The Mariachi Band as they play. The Brothers make their way to the ring, one sliding under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and trying to get the crowd pumped up, to little or no avail. The Band stops playing as Victor leaves the ring and Hector waits. Suddenly, a group of clouds pass by overhead, casting an ominous shadow over the yard. The speakers start playing something.... ~
"DOWN HERE, WE ALL FLOAT!"
~ "Every 27 Years" (from IT Chapter 2) hits the speakers as Allton rolls out from behind the curtain onto the ramp, but he's not alone… nor is he just Allton. He is flanked by Tank and Vincenzo. Allton is dressed head to toe as Pennywise from IT. The fans boo this evil looking, smug bastard as he rolls his way to the ring. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… accompanied by The Family…. Hailing from The Macroverse! Weighing in "on a scale your mortal minds couldn't comprehend".... He is "The Lord of Evil" PennyLord!!
~ The Yardies boo as many shy away as PennyLord rolls past. They don't even attempt any form of contact. They are thoroughly freaked out. They aren't the only ones. We can hear Dean let out a scream. ~
Dean: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Zybala: Chill out. It's just Lord Allton in his PennyLord costume.
Dean: Man, why did the sucka have to dress like a clown. Clowns and me don't mix well.
Zybala: You're not the one facing him. Relax.
~ Dean grumbles in his seat as PennyLord is put in the ring by Vincenzo as Tank and The Mariachi band struggle to get the wheelchair in the ring, which they eventually succeed in downing after much struggling. PennyLord gets back in his chair with assistance from Tank. The Family leaves the ring as Mitch gets done checking Hector. He turns and looks at a grinning PennyLord; that's a whole bunch of nope. Mitch calls for the bell and the match is underway! Hector is trying to make heads or tails of what's going on as PennyLord rolls to the center of the ring, still grinning. It appears he is trying to be pleasant. He raises his right hand and gestures at it with his left. He is suggesting a test of strength. Hector slowly places his hand in PennyLord's and goes to lock up with the other hand, but PennyLord pushes the lever on his wheelchair and drives forward into Hector's shins! Hector starts to hobble but PennyLord stills has a grip on Hector's left hand. PennyLord switches his grip from the hand to the wrist, and makes his wheelchair spin a 360 circle, essentially twisting Hector's arm with an arm wringer. The most basic of moves, but impressive for the chair bound PennyLord. ~
Zybala: Using both the costume and the wheelchair, PennyLord has taken quite a unique advantage early on in this match.
Dean: It is impressive, but I still don't like the sucka's costume.
Zybala: It's just a costume.
Dean: It's a fuckin' clown! Besides IT, name me one horror movie with clowns where the black dude lives.
Zybala:.......
Dean: That's what I thought!
~ Hector drops to his knees and spins on them and reverses PennyLord's hold into a wristlock of his own. Hector cranks the hold before trying to grab Penny in a headlock, but it's very awkward because of the chair getting in the way. Victor shouts some words in Spanish and Hector's eyes light up. He then sits on the right arm of the wheelchair and really sinks in that side headlock! The Yardies cheer the ingenuity as PennyLord starts screening for Hector to get off. He tries shaking back and forth to shake the luchador, but Hector holds on tight. PennyLord starts to spin the wheelchair again, trying to shake off The Malvado brother. They spin and spin as The Yardies cheer and start counting the rotations! As the fans shout "FIFTEEN!", Hector finally releases the headlock and falls to the mat, dizzy and disoriented. PennyLord can't go on the attack, as he looks pretty dizzy himself. He leans forward and almost topples out of the chair, but the wheelchair is equipped with a safety belt. Vincenzo and Vicor start shouting words of encouragement for their respective guys as the fans start clapping in unison to rally the wrestlers. Hector is unsteady as he gets to his feet, but eventually stands up. He grabs PennyLord and tries to whip him into the ropes, more so out of instinct than common sense. PennyLord laughs at this feeble attempt and actually starts to move the wheelchair as if thrown. Hector thinks he's done it, not realizing that he was being humored. PennyLord hits the ropes, then starts backing up his wheelchair. Hector moves out of the way. PennyLord starts laughing his head off as he "runs" the ropes with his wheelchair, mockingly stating how strong Hector is. His English may not be great, but Hector understands that he is being taunted. Hector gets mad and as PennyLord comes back towards him, he dropkicks the former X-Factor champion in the face! PennyLord is stunned and his handle slips from the control causing the chair to cease its movement! Hector rushes over to the dazed clown and quickly wraps up his legs in a modified version of the Figure Four! PennyLord is screaming in pain as his legs and lower back are contorted in the chair! ~
Dean: What gives? I thought the sucka was paraplegic or something? Why is he hurting?
Zybala: I actually talked with Allton about it before. He's only lost feeling around his thighs. He has feeling around his calves and feet themselves though. So I'm pretty sure that this would be quite painful for him.
~ Mitch is asking PennyLord if he wants to quit, but Penny refuses and wants to fight on! The crowd is chanting "TAP!" as Hector tries to crank back on the hold, which is difficult with a seated opponent. Tank is about to step in the ring to help his boss when Vincenzo stops him and points. From the corner of the camera, we can see The Spruce Goose and Memphis Belle running through the yard towards Victor! They attack him from behind and just lay a beat down on him! Hector sees this happening and releases the Figure Four, much to the relief of PennyLord. Hector tries to go help his brother but is held back by Mitch, reminding him of the match. Hector doesn't care. He slides out of the ring as The Patriots run off. He checks on Victor, who is relatively okay and goes back into the ring. PennyLord has his head down and is breathing hard. Hector rushes over to continue the assault but PennyLord grabs Hector's arm and pulls him close. PennyLord then swings his left arm and punches Hector in the temple! Hector drops like a sack of potatoes and PennyLord starts to unbuckle himself. He falls to the mat and covers Hector as Mitch dives into position! ~
Mitch: One…….Two…….. Three!!
Belvedere: Here is your winner…… PennyLord!!
: Tank and Vincenzo get in the ring and help PennyLord up to his feet. They hold him up as he raises his arms in victory. We can see something shiny in his left hand. At closer inspection, we can see that he is wearing a pair of brass knuckles! The Yardies' boos are deafening as PennyLord gloats. The Family and The Mariachi Band go through the process of getting the wheelchair out of the ring as PennyLord sits in the corner, patiently waiting. ~
Dean: Once again, the brass knucks help the sucka to walk away with another tainted win.
Zybala: Mitch didn't catch it. Allton took advantage of the situation at ringside and did what The A-List does best. Bend the rules when the ref is distracted.
Dean: The situation ain't over yet!
~ As PennyLord gets set back in his chair and The Family make their way back in the house, probably to raid the fridge and some of Zybala's great home cooking, Victor gets in the ring to check on his brother and help him to his feet. Suddenly, The Patriots storm the ring to try to continue the beat down!! Victor quickly gets to his feet and starts brawling with the Spruce Goose as Memphis Belle and Hector go at it! The four are punching and kicking away at each other as the Yardies are cheering and encouraging the violence! ~
Dean: This is out of control, and I dig it!
Zybala: What another great night for Outsiders! Until next time, I'm Mike Zybala.
Dean: And I'm Dean. Good fight, good night.
Zybala: That's my line.
Dean: Meh. By the way, should we break those suckas up?
Zybala:..... Nah. Let them fight. The battery for "security" is dead anyways.
~ The last shot we see is The Patriots and The Malvado kicking the crap out of each other as the scene fades to black. ~
