Post by zybala on Mar 19, 2024 8:14:48 GMT -5
~ Welcome back to The Yard, my friends! Hope you all had a great weekend. Did Lurrr drag you to the casino? Did you do anything fun with the kids? Did you get out to vote? Are you just glad this election is over? Well, you don't have to worry about any of that now. Now, it's time for Dystopia! The Yardies are already in full swing on this beautiful Florida Monday. It may be raining in other parts of the state, but it's always sunny in The Yard! Fans have packed the seats, E.E. and Emilio are back to their usual positions at the grills. The port-o-potties have been cleaned and sanitized.
The Mariachi Band is rocking a mariachi version of "Fuel" by Metallica! We have some Yardies throwing down in a mosh pit. The refrigerator box/announcer table is still standing proudly. Behind the "table" is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and Dean! They are digging the Mariachi Band just like everyone else, minus the moshing. They have the headsets and microphones at the ready and Zybala has the laptop for the entrance themes next to him. ~
Dean: Welcome back suckas to another episode of Dystopia! I'm Dean, he's Zybala, and we're hot off the heels of Controlled Chaos! We crowned new champions and proved that Outsiders is the place to be!
Zybala: That's the truth, Dean-o! We got us new tag team champs in The Malvados, Barry became the new Outsiders United X-Division champion, Allton won back his X-Factor title AND became the number one contender to the world title!
Dean: Which was won back by the most decorated Outsider in our short history. Peter Vaughn defeated his rival, The Uber-Man, to become a THREE time World Champion! But that was then and this is tonight! We got three matches for you guys tonight.
Zybala: We got "The Unpinnable" Barry taking on Soot Losem. Then we got two official in-ring debuts when The Family member Vincenzo faces Patrolman Pete! Plus, a special feature match as Shawn Wartstien squares off against his most hated foe, Sunday!!
Dean: But before that, we got a victory celebration!
~The Mariachi band begins to play their rendition of "Si Señor" by Control Machete causing the yardies to jump to their feet and cheer. ~
Zybala: Here come the brand-new tag team champions Dean!
Dean: I don’t know about you, but I am ready for a siesta!
Zybala: Fiesta Dean, fiesta! We’re having a party, not taking a nap.
Dean: Well Poop sucka, both sound good to me right about now.
~The Malvado Brothers come out followed by Vanessa behind them. The one on the left, let’s say Victor, has the title wrapped tightly around his waist but Hector is showing it off to the fans, raising it highly with his right hand. He slaps the plate with his left hand, to show the crowd how proud he is of it, but he slaps it a little too hard, causing the plate to fall off. He quickly picks it up and fixes the badly duct tape job by Zybala and once fixed, he shows it off again causing the Yardies to pop again. ~
Zybala: These guys had to go through hell and high water to get to where they are today Dean!
Dean: Yeah, and that was just to cross the border. Everything else is a bonus, including those cheap ass-
Zybala: Dude!
Dean: Those glorious tag team championships!
Zybala: Ace didn't tell me how rough of a condition that those belts were in when he said we could use them!
~Vanessa hands them both ‘pinata style’ Halloween baskets and they begin to toss candy and chocolate into the yardies. Once they empty the baskets they throw those into the crowd as well, you see the fans start fighting among themselves for the OCW memento.~
Belvedere: Damas y caballeros, here are your NEEEEEW OCW Tag Team champions: The Malvado Brothers!
Dean: The Malvados getting the proper introduction they didn’t receive at Controlled Chaos.
Zybala: Yeah, spoke to Belvedere about that, apparently he was just caught up with it being our first ppv, that he forgot to introduce them properly.
~Once they get in the ring, they each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and showing off their titles. The Yardies chant “Cero English!” as The Malvados nod along to the chants. They hop down and stand in the middle of the ring with Vanessa in between them. She has the mic in hand. You see both Victor and Hector talking to her, she nods and then translates. ~
Vanessa: The Malvado Brothers would like all of you guys to know how much they appreciate your support, this is indeed the American Dream materialized for them.
~The Malvados wipe tears from their eyes and applaud to the Yardies all around who return the applause.~
Vanessa: These titles were definitely worth leaving their families behind back home and risking their lives to get to the land of the free and home of the brave.
~A “USA! USA!” chant breaks out! ~
Vanessa: And to cap off this fiesta, they want to share with you what they did with ALL the winnings they received from their tag team title match.
Dean: Winnings what winnings? You got money from Controlled Chaos? Where is my money sucka?!
Zybala: Dude, you got paid at the end of the show. We then went to the bar with Mitch and you got blackout drunk.
Dean:...... Did I?
Zybala: Yeah…. You tried to ride the mechanical bull….naked…..
~The Malvados jump out of the ring and rush over to where their covered low-rider, we assume, is. They each go to a corner and grab a piece of the tarp; they signal to the crowd with their hands, asking for them to start a ‘ooooh’ chant to build up the big reveal. The Yardies play along and when the chant gets the loudest, the Malvados remove the tarp revealing…. The same piece of Poop low-rider. ~
Dean: The Fudge?
Zybala: Looks about right. People got paid, but it was the Outsiders rate. Champions got fifty bucks each.
~The Malvados show off the car as OCW ‘staff’ who were scattered around the yard, standing on folding ladders release bags of colored balloons onto the Yardies, but the big reveal gets nothing but crickets. Victor, we assume, points to the bumper as if to say “look! Look!” while Hector rushes back to the ring and begins whispering vigorously into Vanessa’s ear. She nods and then rolls her eyes.~
Vanessa: They would like to bring your attention to the front bumper, which is no longer falling off but attached thanks to the very high quality duct tape they are now able to afford thanks to their winnings.
~Again crickets, though some Yardies try to play nice and slow clap. These ones can appreciate holding a car together with good duct tape. The Mariachi band gets clued into to play them off and begin playing right away. Vanessa leaves the ring embarrassed, but Hector stays in, arms raised in the air enjoying the celebration. Victor does the same on top of the hood of the low-rider. ~
Dean: Well that was a big waste of time.
Zybala: Foreigners, what are you going to do?
Dean: I'm gonna cut the jibba jabba! Let's get to the action! Yo Belvedere! Start this Poop!
: The camera pans over to the ring where both Belvedere and Mitch are waiting to do their jobs. The Malvados have vacated the ring. Belvedere raises the microphone and it's show time!! :
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome back to Dystopia! The following match is your opening match of the night. It is also scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: And it's your main event of the evening! Coming to the ring first, hailing from the Cinnabar Islands, weighing in tonight at 0.13 metric tons, he is Soot Losem!!
~ The speakers come alive with a power metal cord starting to play. "Gotta Catch Em All" by PowerGlove hits the speakers as The Yardies show a small amount of interest in Soot Losem as he makes his steps out from behind the curtains. He holds up a pokéball in the air as he makes his way to the ring. When he gets ringside, a fan points out that his shoelace is untied, but Soot ignores them. He hops up on the apron, slips through the ropes and into the ring. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent.. He stands at 5 foot 6 inches and weighs in tonight at 150 pounds! He is The "UNPINNABLE" BAAAAAARRY BAAAAAARRRRROOOOOWWS!!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play, Barry steps out from behind the curtain with his arms raised. The Yardies explode with cheers and start chanting "BAAAR-RY!! BAAAR-RY!" Goldberg style. After Controlled Chaos, their love for this man has grown. Barry makes his way to the ring, looking determined. He enters the ring carefully, but is able to step through without injury. He stares at Losem, making his opponent feel uncomfortable. Mitch calls for the bell to start the match and lights up a blunt. Barry charges at Soot immediately! Losem tries to get up some sort of guard but Barry is just flailing away at him with reckless abandon! He drives Losem into the corner and continues his assault; screaming about Allton with each wild swing and kick. ~
Dean: Damn. Allton really fucked Barry up good. I've never seen him act like this.
Zybala: Neither have I. It's like he's festering with rage.
Dean: As long as it's just rage. We did check his temperature today, right?
Zybala: I think so?
~ Barry continues the onslaught as Mitch administers a five count. Barry turns around, and glares angrily at the ref. Mitch backs away, but offers a hug. The fans start chanting "HUG IT OUT!" as Barry looks at Mitch for a moment. The anger slowly leaves his face. Barry goes into Mitch's embrace and just starts crying. He's sobbing about the whole Allton situation and how he thinks Deana wants a divorce and how his life is falling apart. Losem gets out from the corner and makes like he's going to attack Barry, but a hard stare from Mitch stops him. Mitch pats Barry on the back, reassuring him that it'll be okay. We don't hear much of what they're saying, but Mitch gives Barry a final squeeze before breaking the hug. Mitch then motions to all The Yardies who start the "BAAAAR-RRRY" chant again. Barry wipes the tears from his eyes and thanks Mitch. He turns to face Losem and says he's ready. ~
Zybala: Well, it seems all Barry needed was a hug and a good cry.
Dean: Sometimes that's all any of us need, sucka. Don't matter how tough you are, you can't keep Poop bottled up. It ain't healthy.
Zybala: I hear that. It's like the old R.E.M. song says; "Everybody hurts." You gotta let it out.
~ Barry looks determined as he tries to lock up with Losem, but Soot keeps avoiding him. He's trying to yell at Mitch about favoritism. Mitch then offers a hug to Losem because Mitch is everybody's friend. Losem doesn't want a hug. He walks up to Barry and shoves him hard. He starts yelling that he's here to win, not hug. Barry stumbles backwards, but quickly regains his footing. He then spreads his arms out for a hug. Losem gets angry at this. He hauls back his fist to swing at Barry, but he doesn't see Mitch behind him with his arms spread wide. Barry does see the ref however and walks towards him. Losem is very confused and gets caught in the middle at both Barry and Mitch hug him to the approval of the fans! ~
Zybala: So… we're just gonna have a hugfest?
Dean: Anything can happen in The Yard, Z-man.
Zybala: I know. Might as well go with the flow…
~ Zybala gets up from the announce fridge and heads towards the ring. Dean sees this and follows suit. The Yardies see this and start cheering louder! Zybala and Dean get in the ring and they two join the hug! Losem is screaming to be let go, but no one can hear him over the cheers! After a struggle the matches trying to wrestle my half of the blankets away from the wife on a cold, winters night, Losem manages to get free of the hug pile. He looks confused, annoyed, and a little scared. Dean and Zybala head back to the fridge and Barry is ready to fight. He goes to lock up with Soot, who dodges out of the way, afraid of another hug session. Barry steps forward, causing Soot to try and juke him again, but Barry lunges to catch Soot in a side headlock! Soot is squirming around, trying to break free, but Barry has the hold in tight. Out of desperation, Soot raises his leg and brings his foot down hard towards Barry's foot! Barry moves his foot at the last second and Soot stomps hard on the mat! Losem tries a few more stomps, but Barry keeps moving his feet, all the while keeping the head lock synched in. Looking desperate, Soot does the only thing he can think of…. He starts to tickle Barry!! The fans laugh and kinda boo at this dastardly tactic. Barry tries to keep the hold locked in, but can't hold back the laughter. He releases Soot and pushes him away. ~
Zybala: A sneaky trick, but it worked…
Dean: I ain't never seen anything like that in all my years in this business.
Zybala: Only in Outsiders!
Dean: Damn straight!
~ As Barry composes himself, Soot starts to charge at him. Soot steps on his untied shoelace though, trips and lands flat on his face! Barry quickly drops an elbow across the back of Losem before sitting on his fallen foe! Soot tries to get up and shake Barry off, but Barrows gives Losem a taste of his own medicine as he starts tickling him! Soot starts laughing immediately and trying even more to shake off Barry, but Barry sits firm! Mitch gets on his knees and starts asking if Soot wants to quit as the fans chant "TAP!" They boo a bit when Barry stops tickling, but cheer when he locks Soot in a Camel Clutch!! ~
Zybala: Barry-baby lock in Camel Clutch on dat jabroni!
Dean: He gonna break his back! He make him humble!!
~ Barry pulls back hard on Soot's chin and the "TAP" chant starts up again. The chant quickly turns to boos as Tank and Vincenzo storm the ring! They shove Barry off of Soot and start kicking away at both men. Barry tries to get to his feet and is met with a kick to the head for his troubles. The boos turn to cheers as Aaron Warthog comes charging out from the house with a cast-iron skillet and a large saucepan. ~
Dean: It's Warthog! He's not even supposed to be here tonight!
Zybala: Don't break my Poop!! Put it down!
~ Warthog storms the ring and bashes Tank in the back with the skillet! Vincenzo stops when he sees his partner drop to the mat. Vincenzo turns to see a wild Warthog and ducks a swing from Aaron that would clocked his head! Vincenzo drops to the mat, grabs Tank and drags the big man from the ring. Warthog leans over the ropes, daring the pair to get back in. Vincenzo and Tank just yell stuff as they back away towards the house. ~
~ We cut to a very specific ad for a very specific item in the Amazon store… ~
~ We cut back to The Yard and Belvedere is already in the ring, ready to start off the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is a special feature match and is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first….. standing 6'4" and weighing 234 lbs.. Hailing from Chicago, Illinois... he is the GCWA North American Champion... Shawn Warstein!!
~ "Centuries Remix" by Fallout Boy feat. Juicy J begins to hit the speakers, bringing out Warstein from the back. He's on his own, as he lifts the North American Title over his head.~
Dean: How the Fudge did you manage to get Warstein to fight here?
Zybala: I told him he could fight Sunday and I would cook a meal for him…
~ Warstein stands on the ramp, sneering at the yard. You can practically hear him thinking "why'd I agree to this?" He makes his way down the lawn and veers towards the announce fridge box. He stares Zybala dead in the eyes and holds out his hand. Zybala grabs his wallet and pulls out three twentys, asking if Shawn has change. Shawn grins as he says no, takes the money and heads back to the ring. Zybala is being held back by Dean, who is reminding him that Deana might take away the t.v. deal if he attacks Warstein. Zybala reluctantly sits down. Warstein enters the ring as his music stops. Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… His weight and height are irrelevant… he hails from Parts Unknown…. He is the last day of the week…. Sunday!!
~ Sunday Morning After" By Amanda Marshall hits the speakers. Someone in a white full bodysuit with a red cross on it. Their face is covered by the bodysuit. They're wearing football gear, a helmet, shoulder pads, all of that stuff. The Yardies are a mix of cheers and boos. Sunday gets to the ring and starts taking off the football gear as Warstein glares at him impatiently. The music stops as Belvedere leaves the ring and Mitch calls for the bell. Before anything can happen, a fan holding a sign rushes up to the ring. He starts shouting at Sunday, and slides the sign in the ring before going back to his seat. Sunday picks up the sign, reads it, then holds it up high for everyone to see. It reads "SUNDAY NIGHT INFERNO!!!" Warstein sees this and his eyes narrow in anger. Before Sunday can put the sign down, Warstein runs over and drops him with a huge big boot to the face! ~
Zybala: Holy Poop!
Dean: Gotdamn! He damn near decapitated that sucka!
Zybala: Garfield hates Mondays, but Warstein loathes Sunday!
Dean: Anymore hits like that and we'll only have six days in a week!
~ Warstein looks down at Sunday with a savage grin on his face. You can tell that felt good. Some of the tension that was on Shawn's face is now gone and he looks more relaxed. He casually places a boot on Sunday's chest and Mitch makes the count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREENOOOO!
~ Sunday gets a shoulder up at the last millisecond and Warstein is livid! He starts to angrily stomp away at Sunday, yelling obscenities at him that would make Noah Hanson blush. Shawn stomps extra hard on Sunday's throat and leaves his foot there. He leans over and uses his hands to push down on his knee, increasing the pressure. Sunday is coughing and gagging and Mitch starts yelling a five count. When Mitch reaches four, Warstein lifts his foot. Immediately, Sunday is gasping for sweet, sweet air. He gets up on all four and he coughs and tries to breathe. Sunday pushes himself up on his knees and gets dropped with a King's Crown! Sunday is out cold but Warstein is having none of it. He drags Sunday to his feet and lifts him up for a powerbomb. Warstein runs towards the corner and hurls Sunday into the turnbuckles! We can see Sunday's neck snap back on contact and he sags lifelessly against the turnbuckles. Warstein casually walks over and slaps Sunday a few times. He hooks Sunday's head, drags him out of the corner and plants him with The Ego Trip! Warstein isn't done yet. He picks Sunday up and nails a second Ego Trip. The Yardies are booing their loudest and kid in particular is crying. He's begging Shawn to stop, saying that Sunday "is already dead." ~
Zybala: I feel like we're watching a snuff film…
Dean: Warstein is murdering that sucka!
Zybala: At least it looks like he's going for the pin.
~ Warstein does cover The Last Day of the Week and Mitch makes a mercifully fast three count. That seems to anger Warstein. He gets to his feet, and starts to yell at Mitch about the fast count and how he doesn't want to win that way. Warstein grabs Sunday and drags him back to his feet. He lifts Sunday up on his shoulder and drives him into the corner. Warstein props Sunday on the top rope and follows him up. Warstein balances himself on the top rope, cinches Sunday up with the double underhook, and hits the Ego Trip from the top rope!! Everyone is silent as Losem's head bounces off the mat. Warstein makes a big show of covering Sunday and counts the three himself. The bell rings and Warstein hops to his feet with his arms raised. Mitch hands him the North American belt as Shawn looks down at Sunday. Some smart ass in the crowd shouts "FATALITY!" This causes Warstein to laugh and shout back "FLAWLESS VICTORY!" Warstein starts to leave the ring when "Humble" by Conner4Real hits the speakers. Warstein barks out a laugh again as he walks out of the yard. The Mariachi Band runs to the ring as we cut to Dean and Zybala. ~
Dean: The Poop was brutal, sucka! It's official, we got six days a week now!
Zybala: And that's why you don't piss off Warstein. But that match is done and we are ready for the main event!
Dean: Not yet Z-man. I hear that we gotta cut "backstage."
~ Vincenzo is seen in the living room of the main house just before his match with Patrolman Pete on the phone to his brother Francisco (who from here on out will be known as ‘Frankie’).’ He has his back to the camera. ~
Vincenzo: I can’t believe it Frankie, the boss has got me facing a Fuding cop.
Frankie: A cop?! Vincenzo...you know what’s got to be done then - for the sake of Family honour.
Vincenzo: Yeah, I know, I’m gonna get it done. You should see this guy Frankie, even Leo could take this kid. That cop is going to die in that ring tonight!
~ Leo Struteli… when the Larossia brothers were in their former line of work, Leo Struteli was an advisor to the brothers (and more so towards Vincenzo). Struteli wasn’t much of a fighter standing at a mere 5’5 and weighing less than 150lbs, he used to be pushed around by the larger Vincenzo and yet Leo was still as loyal as a puppy. What a shame that Leo met with an unfortunate accident just a few years ago. Vincenzo notices the camera and immediately puts the phone down. ~
Vincenzo: Hey! You! How much of that did you hear?!
~ The camera man stays silent and Vincenzo storms over and grabs the man by the collar. ~
Vincenzo: I’m fuckin’ talking to you ya piece of Poop!
~ Just before things can escalate, Lord Allton comes into the house flanked by Tank. ~
Allton: Hey! Vincenzo! Put the asshole down. I’d rather not go through paperwork tonight.
~ Allton turns his attention to the camera man as Vincenzo puts the poor schmuck down. ~
Allton: You. Get the Fudge out of here.
~ The cameraman doesn’t need to be told twice and scampers out of the door and we go back to Allton. ~
Allton: And you, Vincenzo. Save the aggression for Pete.
Vincenzo: But boss…!
Allton: Save it. Just get out there and do what’s expected of you.
~ Allton and Tank smirk, Vincenzo sighs but then an evil smile creeps onto his face. ~
Vincenzo: Sure…
~ Allton and his Family fist bump and we go back to Zybala and Dean. ~
Zybala: Thank God he didn't break the camera. We got some extra money from the ppv, but I don't wanna spend money if we don't have to.
Dean: Shhhh! Don't let these suckas know we have cash! They think ten bucks is all we can spare!
Zybala: What money?! I don't have money! Belvedere! Main event! Now, please!
~ We cut back to Belvedere standing in the ring and ready to go. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: And it's your main event of the evening! Introducing first…. weighing in at 275 pounds… hailing from Little Italy, NYC by way of Sicily…. representing The Family…. This is Vincenzo Larossia!!!!
~ "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" by Beastie Boys starts to play over the speakers because Rob never filled out an entrance for Vince or Tank, and I'm not sure if they use Allton's music, so I took liberties. Vincenzo walks out from the kitchen into the Yard! He looks very cocky as he strolls down the lawn, flanked by the humongous Tank. ~
Zybala: Second time tonight that we've seen these guys.
Dean: I'd keep my head on a swivel if I was these suckas. Barry and Warthog could still be around.
~ Vincenzo gets in the ring as Tank waits outside in his buddy's corner. Vincenzo stares back at the house, waiting for his opponent to come out. The music stops and Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: and his opponent…. hailing from Dallas, TX…. weighing in at 185 pounds….this is "Patrolman" Pete!!
~ "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle plays after a YouTube ad. Pete walks into the Yard looking excited! He's looking forward to dishing out his brand of justice! He tries to high five the kids at ringside, who just shy away from the rent-a-cop looking "Patrolman." Vincenzo is practically busting a gut in the ring. He was worried about this? Pete pays him no mind as he gets in the ring. Belvedere exits as music stops playing. Mitch checks both men, tells Pete to lose the plastic badge and handcuffs, then calls for the bell. ~
Dean: And our main event is underway! Cop versus mob! A rivalry as old as time.
Zybala: Both men are making their official debut in an Outsiders ring, though Vince has been here as Allton's muscle for a few months.
~ Pete is looking at Vincenzo, wondering how to approach the much bigger man. Vincenzo holds up his hands in surrender, telling Pete he can handcuff him and take the first shot. Pete looks at Mitch who just shrugs. Pete grabs his cuffs from his corner and goes over to Vincenzo. The Family member lives up to his word and allows the Patrolman to cuff. Pete hauls back his fist to swing at Vincenzo, but stops when Vince raises his hands and spreads his arms wide, breaking the plastic handcuffs! Pete looks shocked at such "strength" as Vincenzo takes advantage of his opponent's lowered guard. He rocks Pete with a flurry of lefts and rights; working him over like a boxer would hit a heavy bag as the Yardies boo! Pete staggers back into the corner and puts his arms up, trying to defend himself. Vincenzo presses his attack and Mitch starts a 5 count. Vincenzo backs off and turns to Tank. ~
Vincenzo: This pig isn't even Fuding real! He's like veggie bacon! He's as Fuding fake as that bitch's tits at the strip joint!
~ Tank chuckles a little and Vincenzo laughs. Pete looks angrily at Vincenzo. ~
Pete: Language.
Vincenzo: (turning back to his opponent.) Excuse me?? Speak up veggie bacon. I couldn't Fuding hear you.
Pete: I said, watch your language!
~ Pete then explodes from the corner, ramming his shoulder into Vincenzo's stomach! The crowd cheers as Pete lifts up Vincenzo and nails and inverted atomic drop! Vincenzo doubles over holding his groin in pain. Pete takes a knee, grabs Vincenzo and bends him over said knee. Pete then begins to spank his opponent in the middle of the ring! He's yelling about teaching respect and how Vincenzo's parents should have done this more. Vincenzo manages to push away from Pete, and stands up looking pissed! ~
Zybala: Uh-oh. It looks like Pete done goofed.
Dean: A man should never spank another man in public
~ Vincenzo charges at Pete with a wild lariat, but Pete ducks. Pete jumps on the back of Vincenzo and tries to lock in a sleeper hold. Vincenzo thrashes around and manages to grab Pete's head, behinds over and flips him off and over to the mat. Pete rolls to his belly and stands up. He turns to face his opponent and is met with a thumb to the eye! The fans boo as Mitch starts to scold a laughing Vincenzo as Pete is rapidly blinking his eye. Feeling better, Vincenzo offers to lock up with the Patrolman. Pete obligizes and they lock up, struggling against each other. Vincenzo manages to get an arm twist on Pete. The lighter man immediately starts doing a couple of flips, or trying to. He looks more like a flopping fish. Vincenzol responds with a right hand, knocking Pete back into the ropes. He bounces back and Vincenzo sidesteps him. Pete then runs to the ropes and comes back, leaping in the air for a Superman punch, but Vincenzo side steps again, avoiding the strike. He grabs Pete from behind, lifting and tossing him overhead with a belly-to-back suplex! Pete tries to land on his feet, but over turns and falls on his butt near the ropes! He grabs his rear in pain as Vincenzo wonders what happened. ~
Zybala: So this match isn't as one sided aa many of us thought it would be.
Dean: Glad I didn't bet anything on it.
Zybala: Wait…… we have a bookie for Outsiders?
Dean:...... I've said too much….
~ Pete gets to his feet and tries to move, but Tank has grabbed his ankle from under the ropes. The Yardies boo and Mitch rushes over to the ropes to yell at Tank. Tank releases Pete and Mitch is yelling at him to not interfere. While Mitch is distracted, Vincenzo hauls back and kicks Pete in the junk! The boos get even louder as Pete cries out in pain. Mitch turns around just in time to see Vincenzo wrap his hand around Pete's throat. He lifts the Patrolman up and drops him with a devastating chokeslam!! Vincenzo covers Pete and Mitch gets in position. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell as the fans boo. Vincenzo stands up and holds his arms up in victory. The Yardies start peppering the ring with empty cups and garbage. Tank gets in the ring to join his partner. ~
Dean: What a cheap shot! Looks like Allton's teaching his boys all that he knows.
Zybala: I'd like to see one Family match have a clean finish.
Dean: We may get it one day. Not tonight though. Regardless, it was another action packed night and we can't wait for you to see us again. I'm Dean…
Zybala: And I'm Zybala, saying Good Fight, Good Night!
Dean: Wait a minute! It's Barry and Warthog!
~ Barry and Warthog, who is still armed with the skillet, rush the ring and start attacking The Family! Barry goes for Vincenzo and Warthog is trying to clobber Tank with the skillet again! The four men are brawling as Dean tries to convince The Mariachi Band to try and break them up. Mitch just leans in the corner and sparks a blunt. Patrolman Pete has come to around this time and starts to lecture Mitch about the dangers of drugs. Tank manages to get the skillet away from Warthog and tries to chokeslam him, but Barry kicks Tank right in the knee cap! The big man goes down and Barry and Aaron double team him for a bit before Vincenzo makes the save as the scene fades to black. ~
The Mariachi Band is rocking a mariachi version of "Fuel" by Metallica! We have some Yardies throwing down in a mosh pit. The refrigerator box/announcer table is still standing proudly. Behind the "table" is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and Dean! They are digging the Mariachi Band just like everyone else, minus the moshing. They have the headsets and microphones at the ready and Zybala has the laptop for the entrance themes next to him. ~
Dean: Welcome back suckas to another episode of Dystopia! I'm Dean, he's Zybala, and we're hot off the heels of Controlled Chaos! We crowned new champions and proved that Outsiders is the place to be!
Zybala: That's the truth, Dean-o! We got us new tag team champs in The Malvados, Barry became the new Outsiders United X-Division champion, Allton won back his X-Factor title AND became the number one contender to the world title!
Dean: Which was won back by the most decorated Outsider in our short history. Peter Vaughn defeated his rival, The Uber-Man, to become a THREE time World Champion! But that was then and this is tonight! We got three matches for you guys tonight.
Zybala: We got "The Unpinnable" Barry taking on Soot Losem. Then we got two official in-ring debuts when The Family member Vincenzo faces Patrolman Pete! Plus, a special feature match as Shawn Wartstien squares off against his most hated foe, Sunday!!
Dean: But before that, we got a victory celebration!
~The Mariachi band begins to play their rendition of "Si Señor" by Control Machete causing the yardies to jump to their feet and cheer. ~
Zybala: Here come the brand-new tag team champions Dean!
Dean: I don’t know about you, but I am ready for a siesta!
Zybala: Fiesta Dean, fiesta! We’re having a party, not taking a nap.
Dean: Well Poop sucka, both sound good to me right about now.
~The Malvado Brothers come out followed by Vanessa behind them. The one on the left, let’s say Victor, has the title wrapped tightly around his waist but Hector is showing it off to the fans, raising it highly with his right hand. He slaps the plate with his left hand, to show the crowd how proud he is of it, but he slaps it a little too hard, causing the plate to fall off. He quickly picks it up and fixes the badly duct tape job by Zybala and once fixed, he shows it off again causing the Yardies to pop again. ~
Zybala: These guys had to go through hell and high water to get to where they are today Dean!
Dean: Yeah, and that was just to cross the border. Everything else is a bonus, including those cheap ass-
Zybala: Dude!
Dean: Those glorious tag team championships!
Zybala: Ace didn't tell me how rough of a condition that those belts were in when he said we could use them!
~Vanessa hands them both ‘pinata style’ Halloween baskets and they begin to toss candy and chocolate into the yardies. Once they empty the baskets they throw those into the crowd as well, you see the fans start fighting among themselves for the OCW memento.~
Belvedere: Damas y caballeros, here are your NEEEEEW OCW Tag Team champions: The Malvado Brothers!
Dean: The Malvados getting the proper introduction they didn’t receive at Controlled Chaos.
Zybala: Yeah, spoke to Belvedere about that, apparently he was just caught up with it being our first ppv, that he forgot to introduce them properly.
~Once they get in the ring, they each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and showing off their titles. The Yardies chant “Cero English!” as The Malvados nod along to the chants. They hop down and stand in the middle of the ring with Vanessa in between them. She has the mic in hand. You see both Victor and Hector talking to her, she nods and then translates. ~
Vanessa: The Malvado Brothers would like all of you guys to know how much they appreciate your support, this is indeed the American Dream materialized for them.
~The Malvados wipe tears from their eyes and applaud to the Yardies all around who return the applause.~
Vanessa: These titles were definitely worth leaving their families behind back home and risking their lives to get to the land of the free and home of the brave.
~A “USA! USA!” chant breaks out! ~
Vanessa: And to cap off this fiesta, they want to share with you what they did with ALL the winnings they received from their tag team title match.
Dean: Winnings what winnings? You got money from Controlled Chaos? Where is my money sucka?!
Zybala: Dude, you got paid at the end of the show. We then went to the bar with Mitch and you got blackout drunk.
Dean:...... Did I?
Zybala: Yeah…. You tried to ride the mechanical bull….naked…..
~The Malvados jump out of the ring and rush over to where their covered low-rider, we assume, is. They each go to a corner and grab a piece of the tarp; they signal to the crowd with their hands, asking for them to start a ‘ooooh’ chant to build up the big reveal. The Yardies play along and when the chant gets the loudest, the Malvados remove the tarp revealing…. The same piece of Poop low-rider. ~
Dean: The Fudge?
Zybala: Looks about right. People got paid, but it was the Outsiders rate. Champions got fifty bucks each.
~The Malvados show off the car as OCW ‘staff’ who were scattered around the yard, standing on folding ladders release bags of colored balloons onto the Yardies, but the big reveal gets nothing but crickets. Victor, we assume, points to the bumper as if to say “look! Look!” while Hector rushes back to the ring and begins whispering vigorously into Vanessa’s ear. She nods and then rolls her eyes.~
Vanessa: They would like to bring your attention to the front bumper, which is no longer falling off but attached thanks to the very high quality duct tape they are now able to afford thanks to their winnings.
~Again crickets, though some Yardies try to play nice and slow clap. These ones can appreciate holding a car together with good duct tape. The Mariachi band gets clued into to play them off and begin playing right away. Vanessa leaves the ring embarrassed, but Hector stays in, arms raised in the air enjoying the celebration. Victor does the same on top of the hood of the low-rider. ~
Dean: Well that was a big waste of time.
Zybala: Foreigners, what are you going to do?
Dean: I'm gonna cut the jibba jabba! Let's get to the action! Yo Belvedere! Start this Poop!
: The camera pans over to the ring where both Belvedere and Mitch are waiting to do their jobs. The Malvados have vacated the ring. Belvedere raises the microphone and it's show time!! :
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome back to Dystopia! The following match is your opening match of the night. It is also scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: And it's your main event of the evening! Coming to the ring first, hailing from the Cinnabar Islands, weighing in tonight at 0.13 metric tons, he is Soot Losem!!
~ The speakers come alive with a power metal cord starting to play. "Gotta Catch Em All" by PowerGlove hits the speakers as The Yardies show a small amount of interest in Soot Losem as he makes his steps out from behind the curtains. He holds up a pokéball in the air as he makes his way to the ring. When he gets ringside, a fan points out that his shoelace is untied, but Soot ignores them. He hops up on the apron, slips through the ropes and into the ring. The music stops and Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent.. He stands at 5 foot 6 inches and weighs in tonight at 150 pounds! He is The "UNPINNABLE" BAAAAAARRY BAAAAAARRRRROOOOOWWS!!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play, Barry steps out from behind the curtain with his arms raised. The Yardies explode with cheers and start chanting "BAAAR-RY!! BAAAR-RY!" Goldberg style. After Controlled Chaos, their love for this man has grown. Barry makes his way to the ring, looking determined. He enters the ring carefully, but is able to step through without injury. He stares at Losem, making his opponent feel uncomfortable. Mitch calls for the bell to start the match and lights up a blunt. Barry charges at Soot immediately! Losem tries to get up some sort of guard but Barry is just flailing away at him with reckless abandon! He drives Losem into the corner and continues his assault; screaming about Allton with each wild swing and kick. ~
Dean: Damn. Allton really fucked Barry up good. I've never seen him act like this.
Zybala: Neither have I. It's like he's festering with rage.
Dean: As long as it's just rage. We did check his temperature today, right?
Zybala: I think so?
~ Barry continues the onslaught as Mitch administers a five count. Barry turns around, and glares angrily at the ref. Mitch backs away, but offers a hug. The fans start chanting "HUG IT OUT!" as Barry looks at Mitch for a moment. The anger slowly leaves his face. Barry goes into Mitch's embrace and just starts crying. He's sobbing about the whole Allton situation and how he thinks Deana wants a divorce and how his life is falling apart. Losem gets out from the corner and makes like he's going to attack Barry, but a hard stare from Mitch stops him. Mitch pats Barry on the back, reassuring him that it'll be okay. We don't hear much of what they're saying, but Mitch gives Barry a final squeeze before breaking the hug. Mitch then motions to all The Yardies who start the "BAAAAR-RRRY" chant again. Barry wipes the tears from his eyes and thanks Mitch. He turns to face Losem and says he's ready. ~
Zybala: Well, it seems all Barry needed was a hug and a good cry.
Dean: Sometimes that's all any of us need, sucka. Don't matter how tough you are, you can't keep Poop bottled up. It ain't healthy.
Zybala: I hear that. It's like the old R.E.M. song says; "Everybody hurts." You gotta let it out.
~ Barry looks determined as he tries to lock up with Losem, but Soot keeps avoiding him. He's trying to yell at Mitch about favoritism. Mitch then offers a hug to Losem because Mitch is everybody's friend. Losem doesn't want a hug. He walks up to Barry and shoves him hard. He starts yelling that he's here to win, not hug. Barry stumbles backwards, but quickly regains his footing. He then spreads his arms out for a hug. Losem gets angry at this. He hauls back his fist to swing at Barry, but he doesn't see Mitch behind him with his arms spread wide. Barry does see the ref however and walks towards him. Losem is very confused and gets caught in the middle at both Barry and Mitch hug him to the approval of the fans! ~
Zybala: So… we're just gonna have a hugfest?
Dean: Anything can happen in The Yard, Z-man.
Zybala: I know. Might as well go with the flow…
~ Zybala gets up from the announce fridge and heads towards the ring. Dean sees this and follows suit. The Yardies see this and start cheering louder! Zybala and Dean get in the ring and they two join the hug! Losem is screaming to be let go, but no one can hear him over the cheers! After a struggle the matches trying to wrestle my half of the blankets away from the wife on a cold, winters night, Losem manages to get free of the hug pile. He looks confused, annoyed, and a little scared. Dean and Zybala head back to the fridge and Barry is ready to fight. He goes to lock up with Soot, who dodges out of the way, afraid of another hug session. Barry steps forward, causing Soot to try and juke him again, but Barry lunges to catch Soot in a side headlock! Soot is squirming around, trying to break free, but Barry has the hold in tight. Out of desperation, Soot raises his leg and brings his foot down hard towards Barry's foot! Barry moves his foot at the last second and Soot stomps hard on the mat! Losem tries a few more stomps, but Barry keeps moving his feet, all the while keeping the head lock synched in. Looking desperate, Soot does the only thing he can think of…. He starts to tickle Barry!! The fans laugh and kinda boo at this dastardly tactic. Barry tries to keep the hold locked in, but can't hold back the laughter. He releases Soot and pushes him away. ~
Zybala: A sneaky trick, but it worked…
Dean: I ain't never seen anything like that in all my years in this business.
Zybala: Only in Outsiders!
Dean: Damn straight!
~ As Barry composes himself, Soot starts to charge at him. Soot steps on his untied shoelace though, trips and lands flat on his face! Barry quickly drops an elbow across the back of Losem before sitting on his fallen foe! Soot tries to get up and shake Barry off, but Barrows gives Losem a taste of his own medicine as he starts tickling him! Soot starts laughing immediately and trying even more to shake off Barry, but Barry sits firm! Mitch gets on his knees and starts asking if Soot wants to quit as the fans chant "TAP!" They boo a bit when Barry stops tickling, but cheer when he locks Soot in a Camel Clutch!! ~
Zybala: Barry-baby lock in Camel Clutch on dat jabroni!
Dean: He gonna break his back! He make him humble!!
~ Barry pulls back hard on Soot's chin and the "TAP" chant starts up again. The chant quickly turns to boos as Tank and Vincenzo storm the ring! They shove Barry off of Soot and start kicking away at both men. Barry tries to get to his feet and is met with a kick to the head for his troubles. The boos turn to cheers as Aaron Warthog comes charging out from the house with a cast-iron skillet and a large saucepan. ~
Dean: It's Warthog! He's not even supposed to be here tonight!
Zybala: Don't break my Poop!! Put it down!
~ Warthog storms the ring and bashes Tank in the back with the skillet! Vincenzo stops when he sees his partner drop to the mat. Vincenzo turns to see a wild Warthog and ducks a swing from Aaron that would clocked his head! Vincenzo drops to the mat, grabs Tank and drags the big man from the ring. Warthog leans over the ropes, daring the pair to get back in. Vincenzo and Tank just yell stuff as they back away towards the house. ~
~ We cut to a very specific ad for a very specific item in the Amazon store… ~
"Reminded me of 'The Kite Runner' except no kites and no one was running. Other than that, just as inspirational." - Rikki Eastman
"A great way to kill a lazy Sunday day in the bathtub with a glass of wine." - Deana Barrows
"A very good story, and loved the author's humor." - KSE
"Can't wait to have Will do the audiobook version of this masterpiece. There's something soothing about that southern accent." - Rob Culliford
"Who are you and how the Fudge did you get in my house?!?" - Stephen King
All on the Amazon best seller "A Cult Inheritance" by the sensational writing machine Will Gardner.
~ We cut back to The Yard and Belvedere is already in the ring, ready to start off the next match. ~
Belvedere: The following match is a special feature match and is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: Introducing first….. standing 6'4" and weighing 234 lbs.. Hailing from Chicago, Illinois... he is the GCWA North American Champion... Shawn Warstein!!
~ "Centuries Remix" by Fallout Boy feat. Juicy J begins to hit the speakers, bringing out Warstein from the back. He's on his own, as he lifts the North American Title over his head.~
Dean: How the Fudge did you manage to get Warstein to fight here?
Zybala: I told him he could fight Sunday and I would cook a meal for him…
~ Warstein stands on the ramp, sneering at the yard. You can practically hear him thinking "why'd I agree to this?" He makes his way down the lawn and veers towards the announce fridge box. He stares Zybala dead in the eyes and holds out his hand. Zybala grabs his wallet and pulls out three twentys, asking if Shawn has change. Shawn grins as he says no, takes the money and heads back to the ring. Zybala is being held back by Dean, who is reminding him that Deana might take away the t.v. deal if he attacks Warstein. Zybala reluctantly sits down. Warstein enters the ring as his music stops. Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: And his opponent… His weight and height are irrelevant… he hails from Parts Unknown…. He is the last day of the week…. Sunday!!
~ Sunday Morning After" By Amanda Marshall hits the speakers. Someone in a white full bodysuit with a red cross on it. Their face is covered by the bodysuit. They're wearing football gear, a helmet, shoulder pads, all of that stuff. The Yardies are a mix of cheers and boos. Sunday gets to the ring and starts taking off the football gear as Warstein glares at him impatiently. The music stops as Belvedere leaves the ring and Mitch calls for the bell. Before anything can happen, a fan holding a sign rushes up to the ring. He starts shouting at Sunday, and slides the sign in the ring before going back to his seat. Sunday picks up the sign, reads it, then holds it up high for everyone to see. It reads "SUNDAY NIGHT INFERNO!!!" Warstein sees this and his eyes narrow in anger. Before Sunday can put the sign down, Warstein runs over and drops him with a huge big boot to the face! ~
Zybala: Holy Poop!
Dean: Gotdamn! He damn near decapitated that sucka!
Zybala: Garfield hates Mondays, but Warstein loathes Sunday!
Dean: Anymore hits like that and we'll only have six days in a week!
~ Warstein looks down at Sunday with a savage grin on his face. You can tell that felt good. Some of the tension that was on Shawn's face is now gone and he looks more relaxed. He casually places a boot on Sunday's chest and Mitch makes the count! ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREENOOOO!
~ Sunday gets a shoulder up at the last millisecond and Warstein is livid! He starts to angrily stomp away at Sunday, yelling obscenities at him that would make Noah Hanson blush. Shawn stomps extra hard on Sunday's throat and leaves his foot there. He leans over and uses his hands to push down on his knee, increasing the pressure. Sunday is coughing and gagging and Mitch starts yelling a five count. When Mitch reaches four, Warstein lifts his foot. Immediately, Sunday is gasping for sweet, sweet air. He gets up on all four and he coughs and tries to breathe. Sunday pushes himself up on his knees and gets dropped with a King's Crown! Sunday is out cold but Warstein is having none of it. He drags Sunday to his feet and lifts him up for a powerbomb. Warstein runs towards the corner and hurls Sunday into the turnbuckles! We can see Sunday's neck snap back on contact and he sags lifelessly against the turnbuckles. Warstein casually walks over and slaps Sunday a few times. He hooks Sunday's head, drags him out of the corner and plants him with The Ego Trip! Warstein isn't done yet. He picks Sunday up and nails a second Ego Trip. The Yardies are booing their loudest and kid in particular is crying. He's begging Shawn to stop, saying that Sunday "is already dead." ~
Zybala: I feel like we're watching a snuff film…
Dean: Warstein is murdering that sucka!
Zybala: At least it looks like he's going for the pin.
~ Warstein does cover The Last Day of the Week and Mitch makes a mercifully fast three count. That seems to anger Warstein. He gets to his feet, and starts to yell at Mitch about the fast count and how he doesn't want to win that way. Warstein grabs Sunday and drags him back to his feet. He lifts Sunday up on his shoulder and drives him into the corner. Warstein props Sunday on the top rope and follows him up. Warstein balances himself on the top rope, cinches Sunday up with the double underhook, and hits the Ego Trip from the top rope!! Everyone is silent as Losem's head bounces off the mat. Warstein makes a big show of covering Sunday and counts the three himself. The bell rings and Warstein hops to his feet with his arms raised. Mitch hands him the North American belt as Shawn looks down at Sunday. Some smart ass in the crowd shouts "FATALITY!" This causes Warstein to laugh and shout back "FLAWLESS VICTORY!" Warstein starts to leave the ring when "Humble" by Conner4Real hits the speakers. Warstein barks out a laugh again as he walks out of the yard. The Mariachi Band runs to the ring as we cut to Dean and Zybala. ~
Dean: The Poop was brutal, sucka! It's official, we got six days a week now!
Zybala: And that's why you don't piss off Warstein. But that match is done and we are ready for the main event!
Dean: Not yet Z-man. I hear that we gotta cut "backstage."
~ Vincenzo is seen in the living room of the main house just before his match with Patrolman Pete on the phone to his brother Francisco (who from here on out will be known as ‘Frankie’).’ He has his back to the camera. ~
Vincenzo: I can’t believe it Frankie, the boss has got me facing a Fuding cop.
Frankie: A cop?! Vincenzo...you know what’s got to be done then - for the sake of Family honour.
Vincenzo: Yeah, I know, I’m gonna get it done. You should see this guy Frankie, even Leo could take this kid. That cop is going to die in that ring tonight!
~ Leo Struteli… when the Larossia brothers were in their former line of work, Leo Struteli was an advisor to the brothers (and more so towards Vincenzo). Struteli wasn’t much of a fighter standing at a mere 5’5 and weighing less than 150lbs, he used to be pushed around by the larger Vincenzo and yet Leo was still as loyal as a puppy. What a shame that Leo met with an unfortunate accident just a few years ago. Vincenzo notices the camera and immediately puts the phone down. ~
Vincenzo: Hey! You! How much of that did you hear?!
~ The camera man stays silent and Vincenzo storms over and grabs the man by the collar. ~
Vincenzo: I’m fuckin’ talking to you ya piece of Poop!
~ Just before things can escalate, Lord Allton comes into the house flanked by Tank. ~
Allton: Hey! Vincenzo! Put the asshole down. I’d rather not go through paperwork tonight.
~ Allton turns his attention to the camera man as Vincenzo puts the poor schmuck down. ~
Allton: You. Get the Fudge out of here.
~ The cameraman doesn’t need to be told twice and scampers out of the door and we go back to Allton. ~
Allton: And you, Vincenzo. Save the aggression for Pete.
Vincenzo: But boss…!
Allton: Save it. Just get out there and do what’s expected of you.
~ Allton and Tank smirk, Vincenzo sighs but then an evil smile creeps onto his face. ~
Vincenzo: Sure…
~ Allton and his Family fist bump and we go back to Zybala and Dean. ~
Zybala: Thank God he didn't break the camera. We got some extra money from the ppv, but I don't wanna spend money if we don't have to.
Dean: Shhhh! Don't let these suckas know we have cash! They think ten bucks is all we can spare!
Zybala: What money?! I don't have money! Belvedere! Main event! Now, please!
~ We cut back to Belvedere standing in the ring and ready to go. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!
Belvedere: And it's your main event of the evening! Introducing first…. weighing in at 275 pounds… hailing from Little Italy, NYC by way of Sicily…. representing The Family…. This is Vincenzo Larossia!!!!
~ "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" by Beastie Boys starts to play over the speakers because Rob never filled out an entrance for Vince or Tank, and I'm not sure if they use Allton's music, so I took liberties. Vincenzo walks out from the kitchen into the Yard! He looks very cocky as he strolls down the lawn, flanked by the humongous Tank. ~
Zybala: Second time tonight that we've seen these guys.
Dean: I'd keep my head on a swivel if I was these suckas. Barry and Warthog could still be around.
~ Vincenzo gets in the ring as Tank waits outside in his buddy's corner. Vincenzo stares back at the house, waiting for his opponent to come out. The music stops and Belvedere continues… ~
Belvedere: and his opponent…. hailing from Dallas, TX…. weighing in at 185 pounds….this is "Patrolman" Pete!!
~ "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle plays after a YouTube ad. Pete walks into the Yard looking excited! He's looking forward to dishing out his brand of justice! He tries to high five the kids at ringside, who just shy away from the rent-a-cop looking "Patrolman." Vincenzo is practically busting a gut in the ring. He was worried about this? Pete pays him no mind as he gets in the ring. Belvedere exits as music stops playing. Mitch checks both men, tells Pete to lose the plastic badge and handcuffs, then calls for the bell. ~
Dean: And our main event is underway! Cop versus mob! A rivalry as old as time.
Zybala: Both men are making their official debut in an Outsiders ring, though Vince has been here as Allton's muscle for a few months.
~ Pete is looking at Vincenzo, wondering how to approach the much bigger man. Vincenzo holds up his hands in surrender, telling Pete he can handcuff him and take the first shot. Pete looks at Mitch who just shrugs. Pete grabs his cuffs from his corner and goes over to Vincenzo. The Family member lives up to his word and allows the Patrolman to cuff. Pete hauls back his fist to swing at Vincenzo, but stops when Vince raises his hands and spreads his arms wide, breaking the plastic handcuffs! Pete looks shocked at such "strength" as Vincenzo takes advantage of his opponent's lowered guard. He rocks Pete with a flurry of lefts and rights; working him over like a boxer would hit a heavy bag as the Yardies boo! Pete staggers back into the corner and puts his arms up, trying to defend himself. Vincenzo presses his attack and Mitch starts a 5 count. Vincenzo backs off and turns to Tank. ~
Vincenzo: This pig isn't even Fuding real! He's like veggie bacon! He's as Fuding fake as that bitch's tits at the strip joint!
~ Tank chuckles a little and Vincenzo laughs. Pete looks angrily at Vincenzo. ~
Pete: Language.
Vincenzo: (turning back to his opponent.) Excuse me?? Speak up veggie bacon. I couldn't Fuding hear you.
Pete: I said, watch your language!
~ Pete then explodes from the corner, ramming his shoulder into Vincenzo's stomach! The crowd cheers as Pete lifts up Vincenzo and nails and inverted atomic drop! Vincenzo doubles over holding his groin in pain. Pete takes a knee, grabs Vincenzo and bends him over said knee. Pete then begins to spank his opponent in the middle of the ring! He's yelling about teaching respect and how Vincenzo's parents should have done this more. Vincenzo manages to push away from Pete, and stands up looking pissed! ~
Zybala: Uh-oh. It looks like Pete done goofed.
Dean: A man should never spank another man in public
~ Vincenzo charges at Pete with a wild lariat, but Pete ducks. Pete jumps on the back of Vincenzo and tries to lock in a sleeper hold. Vincenzo thrashes around and manages to grab Pete's head, behinds over and flips him off and over to the mat. Pete rolls to his belly and stands up. He turns to face his opponent and is met with a thumb to the eye! The fans boo as Mitch starts to scold a laughing Vincenzo as Pete is rapidly blinking his eye. Feeling better, Vincenzo offers to lock up with the Patrolman. Pete obligizes and they lock up, struggling against each other. Vincenzo manages to get an arm twist on Pete. The lighter man immediately starts doing a couple of flips, or trying to. He looks more like a flopping fish. Vincenzol responds with a right hand, knocking Pete back into the ropes. He bounces back and Vincenzo sidesteps him. Pete then runs to the ropes and comes back, leaping in the air for a Superman punch, but Vincenzo side steps again, avoiding the strike. He grabs Pete from behind, lifting and tossing him overhead with a belly-to-back suplex! Pete tries to land on his feet, but over turns and falls on his butt near the ropes! He grabs his rear in pain as Vincenzo wonders what happened. ~
Zybala: So this match isn't as one sided aa many of us thought it would be.
Dean: Glad I didn't bet anything on it.
Zybala: Wait…… we have a bookie for Outsiders?
Dean:...... I've said too much….
~ Pete gets to his feet and tries to move, but Tank has grabbed his ankle from under the ropes. The Yardies boo and Mitch rushes over to the ropes to yell at Tank. Tank releases Pete and Mitch is yelling at him to not interfere. While Mitch is distracted, Vincenzo hauls back and kicks Pete in the junk! The boos get even louder as Pete cries out in pain. Mitch turns around just in time to see Vincenzo wrap his hand around Pete's throat. He lifts the Patrolman up and drops him with a devastating chokeslam!! Vincenzo covers Pete and Mitch gets in position. ~
Mitch: One…..
Two……
THREE!!
~ Mitch calls for the bell as the fans boo. Vincenzo stands up and holds his arms up in victory. The Yardies start peppering the ring with empty cups and garbage. Tank gets in the ring to join his partner. ~
Dean: What a cheap shot! Looks like Allton's teaching his boys all that he knows.
Zybala: I'd like to see one Family match have a clean finish.
Dean: We may get it one day. Not tonight though. Regardless, it was another action packed night and we can't wait for you to see us again. I'm Dean…
Zybala: And I'm Zybala, saying Good Fight, Good Night!
Dean: Wait a minute! It's Barry and Warthog!
~ Barry and Warthog, who is still armed with the skillet, rush the ring and start attacking The Family! Barry goes for Vincenzo and Warthog is trying to clobber Tank with the skillet again! The four men are brawling as Dean tries to convince The Mariachi Band to try and break them up. Mitch just leans in the corner and sparks a blunt. Patrolman Pete has come to around this time and starts to lecture Mitch about the dangers of drugs. Tank manages to get the skillet away from Warthog and tries to chokeslam him, but Barry kicks Tank right in the knee cap! The big man goes down and Barry and Aaron double team him for a bit before Vincenzo makes the save as the scene fades to black. ~
