Post by zybala on Mar 19, 2024 8:17:11 GMT -5
~ Welcome back to The Yard, my friends! How y'all doing? Are you still buying some Outsiders toys? They are still out there on toy store shelves and the Amazon website. That's what a TRUE fan would do, You ARE a true fan, right? Why else would you be joining us here on Dystopia! It's a beautiful day in The Yard! 75 degrees and plenty of sunshine! The Mariachi Band is tidying up the lawn, Emilio and Eastern European are lighting up the grills. Lucas Thames can be seen sitting ringside, wearing a bright yellow shirt with "SECURITY" embroidered on it in black letters. Zybala and Dean are getting the laptop going. There is only one thing missing… The fans! No fan can be seen in The Yard. Dean looks at the time on his phone and groans. ~
Dean: Where is everyone, sucka?!
Zybala: Maybe they're in front, lining up?
Dean: Maybe?
~ Both men get up from the fridge box and walk to the gate. The look but see no one in the driveway. This isn't good. Zybala opens the gate and steps out of The Yard, followed closely by Dean. The walk to the front of the house to see nary but one person. Former OCW (the other one) general manager Marcus Welsh standing on the sidewalk with his trusty "Down With Zybala" sign. The three men glares at each other, as Welsh has no love for either Outsider. ~
Zybala: Has anyone been out here at all today?
~ Welsh smiles smugly. ~
Welsh: Only people walking their dogs. Not a single fan has lined up! My protests are working!
~ Zybala and Dean swear as Welsh continues to gloat. They ignore him and walk back in The Yard. Dean pulls out his phone and frowns at the display. ~
Dean: We told the suckas that the show was on the first, right?
Zybala: Yep, and that's today. Where the hell are they?
Dean: Maybe they just forgot? Or maybe they just stopped caring?
~ The hurt is evident in Dean's voice. Zybala has a flash of anger go across his face. He starts walking towards the house and slides the back door open so hard it's a wonder the glass didn't break. Dean follows again. Zybala walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge and freezer. He starts pulling out ice cream, chocolate sauce, milk and whipped cream and puts them all on the counter. He then opens the cabinet door under the sink and pulls out a box. Someone has written "OPEN IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" on it with a Sharpie some time ago. ~
Dean: The Fudge you doing, sucka?
Zybala: Desperate times, Dean. Desperate times.
~ Zybala grabs a knife and spoon from a drawer. He puts the spoon next to the ice cream and cuts open the tape on the box with the knife. Zybala then puts the knife in the sink, goes back to the box and opens it. Zybala reaches inside the box and pulls out a blender! He plugs it in, removes the blender top and starts scooping in all the stuff he pulled from the fridge. Zybala puts the top back on, pushes a button and the blender starts mixing the ingredients. Dean looks confused. ~
Dean: How in the actual Fudge is making milkshakes "desperate measures?" I want one by the way.
Zybala: Fine, after the fans get theirs.
Dean: What fans?? Nobody's here! I thought these were to drown our feelings.
Zybala: Don't underestimate the power of my milkshakes.
~ Dean blinks a few times at this statement. Something dawns on him and he looks annoyed as Poop. He's about to say something to Zybala when the sound of Welsh yelling stops him. ~
Welsh: GO AWAY!! THERE'S NO SHOW TODAY!! SAVE YOUR MONEY!! GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
~ Zybala is unphased as he keeps making milkshakes. Dean, however, walks to the front of the house and looks out the window. The camera looks out the window with him, and we see Welsh trying to stop a few guys from going to The Yard. The camera looks up the street and we see even more people. Males of every age walking as if in a trance with concerned wives and girlfriends walking with them. Dean is besides himself. ~
Dean: No Fuding way!
~ Dean and the camera person head back to the kitchen. Zybala is still making shakes as The Mariachi Band are running the completed shakes to seats in The Yard. Emilio and Eastern European are collecting money from the guys filling into The Yard. Soon, every seat is filled and everyone has a milkshake in hand. Zybala and Dean make their way back to the fridge box. ~
Zybala: Welcome back everyone to The Yard, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the 19th episode of Dystopia, and our go home show before our next pay-per-view. I'm Mike Zybala and I'm joined as always by Dean!
Dean: And I can't believe what I just saw. Fuding milkshakes?! That what it took?! Is this the lowbrow stuff we're resorting to?
Zybala: Dude, look at where we are. We have no bottom to drop to.
Dean: …….. Good point. One of our champs is a clown in a wheelchair for Fudge sake. Who is in action tonight taking on Sunday. Will the sucka finally get a win in Outsiders, or will the clown scare out another win?
Zybala: And we welcome back the wrestling legend Vacant as he takes on Alessandro Quagliaterre!
Dean: Bless you.
Zybala: Thank you.
Dean: And our main event is a non title tag team match where the champs, The Malvados take on one of their bitter rivals, The Family. Will the champs prevail or will The Family prove why they feel like they deserve a title shot?
Zybala: Let's find out! Show time, Belvedere!
~ Belvedere is in the ring and starts to do what he does best. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen and all Yardies alike; Welcome back to Dystopia! The following is your opening match of the evening and it is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
~ Disturbia" by Rihanna then plays on the sound system, and the crowd immediately responded with a mixed reception. Alessandro Quagliaterre then bursts through the curtain full of energy. The Yardies boo. They heard all of the comments this man has made about the beloved Outsiders. He soaks in the atmosphere and poses at the top of the ramp with a couple of dabs. He elongates this action for a considerable length of time, and this pisses the crowd off. A.Q. hates that he agreed to this, so he's going to make it worth his wild. ~
“No more gas in the red
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
All my life on my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah”
“It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort”
~ A.Q. smiles at the crowd, unaffected by their boos, and then in his own time, he slowly walks down the lawn without a care in the world. It's as if their hate gives him strength. ~
Belvedere: Introducing first….. from Alpine, New Jersey... weighing in at 240 pounds... ALESSANDRO QUAGLIATERRE"
~ A.Q. really drags this on and extends the crowd's patience to its fullest by taking as long as he wants. The audience gets frustrated throwing, even more, shade in the direction of Alessandro, but he brushes it off. He is about to start throwing $100 bills into the crowd like he does in GCWA until a beer can almost hits him. He swears as he puts the money away. ~
“Throw on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in Disturbia”
“It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia”
~He then finally reaches the ring, and slowly walks up the steel steps, and poses some more on the turnbuckle, to really rub it into the crowd that he has arrived. He then flips down, waiting patiently by the corner of the ring, ready to unleash all types of hell on his opponent. The music stops and the fans cheer. Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent….. He is the most decorated person in wrestling history, holding almost every title in every promotion. His weight is just like his hometown, unknown…. He is the end all, be all, VACANT!
~ If we were in an arena, the lights would dim, but since we're outside, the sun stays shining. A very Goldberg-esq music hits the speakers, but it's not quite the copywritten version everyone knows. It's like Outsiders did to the song what WCW did to many songs for many years. Fireworks start going off and sparklers are lit on the sides of the ramp. A person clad in a green full-body costume emerges from the house and makes their way down the ramp. The fans lose their minds for the legend called Vacant. A.Q. looks annoyed as Poop, and starts yelling for "Tony" to lose the mask. Vacant climbs into the ring as Belvedere exits. Mitch walks up and checks both men and calls for the bell. ~
Dean: Here we go! Alexander Quimby facing Vacant!
Zybala: Alessandro Quagliaterre ..
Dean: I really do not give a Poop, sucka.
Zybala: By the way… does Vacant's head look a little big to you??
Dean: A little. Maybe he just hasn't got a haircut in a while?
~ Vacant and AQ meet in the middle with a big collar and elbow lock up. They struggle against each other for a little before A.Q. gets the advantage. He forces Vacant back and shoves him into the corner. AQ breaks the lock up and steps back cleanly. Vacant steps right out and the two men lock up again. AQ has the advantage once again as he backs Vacant into the corner. The two men break the lock up, but Vacant tries to give a hard shove to AQ, who easily side steps. Vacant falls to the mat and AQ quickly jumps on him, locking in a headlock. The Yardies boo as AQ taunts them and Vacant as he squeezes the mask man's head. A big smile appears on AQ's face as he gets an idea. He dramatically raises a hand high before placing it on top of Vacant's head. AQ gets a headfull of the mask and starts to pull! ~
Zybala: AQ is looking to unmask Vacant! Will we finally see the Legend's face?!
Dean: Dude, we all saw the promos. We know who it is.
Zybala: Well excuse the Fudge out of me for trying to keep the mystique alive for the children.
~ Vacant is kicking and screaming and holding onto his mask for dear life! Though it's to no avail. With one good, hard tug AQ pulls the mask free! The crowd boos as he stands up holding the mask high for all to see. AQ turns to see Vacant with his arms over his head, trying to hide his face. AQ tosses the mask to the side and tries to pull Vacant's arms away. They fight and struggle on the mat, but AQ is eventually successful in pulling Vacant up, exposing his head! AQ looks smugly at the crowd, but is surprised to hear cheers. He turns to Vacant, and sees a Spider-Man mask! Vacant strikes a super hero pose, before attacking the stunned AQ with rapid body punches! ~
Zybala: That genius son of a bitch! He double masked! He expected AQ to try to pull off his mask and now he's on the attack!
Dean: Though it looks like the surprise is wearing off. Questionmark doesn't look pleased.
~Vacant keeps up the punches as AQ is looking annoyed. He's about to mount a counter offense but Vacant fires a forearm to the jaw of AQ! AQ is stunned and Vacant shoots him off into the ropes. Vacant leans over for a back drop and AQ hits him with a sun set flip for a pin.~
Mitch: One...
Two...
Kickout.
~ Vacant kicks out and AQ gets to his feet. He starts complaining to Mitch about what he thinks was a slow count. Vacant gets up behind AQ and spins him around to face him. AQ throws Vacant's hands off of him and headbutts him right in the face. Vacant staggers back dazed and holding his face as AQ scoops him up on his shoulder going for "Bedtime" (Go To Sleep)!! AQ hoists Vacant up, but Vacant counters and lands on his feet. Vacant gtabs AQ with a bearhug, lifts him up and starts spinning in a circle; the dreaded Spider Roll! The Yardies are cheering for Vacant to keep spinning and boo when he stops after a solid ten seconds. Both men are wobbly on their feet, but Vacant hasn't let go yet. He tries to lift AQ again, but AQ muscles out! He grabs Vacant's head and quickly pulls off the Spider-Man mask, only to reveal a Rorschach mask to the delight of the fans. ~
Dean: A third mask! This sucka doesn't want to be revealed!
Zybala: And AQ doesn't want to play anymore games!
~ The GCWA TV champ is beyond pissed at seeing yet another mask. He kicks Vacant right between the legs and lifts him up on his shoulders. Mitch calls for a dq but AQ doesn't care. He's indulged this bullshit long enough. He drops Vacant with "Bedtime" and watches the masked man fall to the mat. AQ grabs Vacant's head and neck, searching. He finds the bottom of the mask fabric and yanks all of them off, revealing…. GASP!! Tony the Spider!! The crowd boos as AQ starts yelling at Tony that he got his match and he'll never get a title shot. AQ throws the masks down on Tony before leaving the ring. He storms out of the Yard, yelling about law suits and being insulted. ~
Dean: Great. Like I need another law suit.
Zybala: Pfft! My lawyers can hold his up in litigation until the heat death of the universe. I'm not worried. AQ should be worried about Tony though.
Dean: True that. Tony may have got dropped, but he did technically win. Any win counts in the record books.
Zybala: Now for Dean's favorite part of the show… A segment from Allton!
Dean: Oh Fudge me. God damn clown.
We cut to Lord Allton getting ready for his match with Sunday. The Family is in the room with him as Bill is applying Lord Allton’s PennyLord make up.
Lord Allton: Tank, Vinnie, I could not be prouder of the two of you. After you beat the Malvado scum later tonight and after I beat Sunday – that is but a forgone conclusion after all – there is much celebrating to be done. I mean you two are the future Outsiders Tag Team Champions after all.
Bill finishes up Allton’s make up and seeing himself as PennyLord in the nearby mirror, Allton begins to giggle and there is a knock at the door.
PennyLord: ENTER!
The door opens to reveal the massive Frankie Larossia.
Frankie: Roberto I’m so glad you invited me down to see you and Vincenzo in act- Woah!
PennyLord: FRANCISCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO HELL! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! ENJOY THE FUN AND GAMES!!!!!!!!! OH, THERE WILL BE SO MUCH FUN TO BE HAD!
PennyLord, in his braces pushes past the Family as Frankie looks on in shock.
Frankie: Vincenzo, you didn’t tell me Roberto was walking now. And what’s with the get-up?
Vincenzo: I didn’t? Well… it’s the leg braces. They ‘walk’ for him.
Frankie: Notevole! (Remarkable!)
Vincenzo: And I’ve definitely told you about PennyLord…
Frankie: Ah. Pennywise in the head. Right… Has anyone checked him out for multiple personality disorder…?
Vincenzo and Tank vehemently shake their heads.
Vincenzo: I’m not telling the boss he has problems. Are you? It's fuckin' suicide Frankie!
Frankie crosses arms still staring out of the room in the direction that PennyLord went.
Frankie: Good point. Well if you or Roberto need me, I'm here.
The Larossia brothers and Tank all smirk at one another.
FADE OUT.
~ We cut back to the ring where Belvedere is ready to do his thing. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first…..His weight and height are irrelevant… he hails from Parts Unknown…. He is the last day of the week…. Sunday!!
~ Sunday Morning After" By Amanda Marshall hits the speakers. Someone in a white full bodysuit with a red cross on it. Their face is covered by the bodysuit. They're wearing football gear, a helmet, shoulder pads, all of that stuff. The Yardies are a mix of cheers and boos. Sunday gets to the ring and starts taking off the football gear. The music stops as Sunday waits patiently for his opponent. Suddenly, a group of clouds pass by overhead, casting an ominous shadow over the yard. The speakers start playing something.... ~
"DOWN HERE, WE ALL FLOAT!"
~ "Every 27 Years" (from IT Chapter 2) hits the speakers as PennyLord walks out!! He is making good use out of his leg braces . The fans boo this evil looking, smug bastard as he rolls his way to the ring. He has a wicked smile that never leaves his face. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent.... Hailing from The Macroverse! Weighing in "on a scale your mortal minds couldn't comprehend".... He is "The Lord of Evil" PennyLord!!
~ The Yardies boo as many shy away as PennyLord strolls past. They don't even attempt any form of contact. They are thoroughly freaked out. They aren't the only ones. We can hear Dean let out a scream. ~
Dean: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Zybala: Jesus! My ears! Dude, you've seen Allton like this before
Dean: Still hate clowns, sucka.
Zybala: You're not the only one. Even with the mask on, you can tell Sunday is nervous
~ Mitch gets done checking Sunday and turns towards the smiling PennyLord. Mitch shakes his head no and calls for the bell. The match is underway! Sunday looks nervous as PennyLord rolls to the center of the ring with an awkward somersault, still grinning and trying to be a silly, friendly clown. It appears he is trying to be pleasant. He raises his right hand and gestures at it with his left. Penny is suggesting a test of strength. Sunday looks apprehensive and doesn't accept. Penny's smile turns into a frown. It seems as if Sunday hurt his feelings. ~
Dean: Sunday better not trust him! It's a trap, sucka!
Zybala: You don't know that. Allton could be upset.
Dean: D.T.C., sucka! Don't Trust Clowns! Lived my whole life with that saying.
~ Penny's eyes light up and his smile returns. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a balloon. He blows it up and we see that it's of the long and thin variety. PennyLord starts twisting and manipulating the balloon in a dog shape. A few fans clap for this skill. Penny presents the balloon animal as a gift to Sunday, who stares at it for a moment before cautiously reaching out for it. The moment Sunday touches the balloon, it pops! Sunday takes a step back, startled and PennyLord lunges forward with an attack! He starts throwing wild fists at Sunday, not caring what body part he hits, just as long as he is making contact. PennyLord is pushing Sunday back into a corner with flailing blows. Sunday does his best to cover up and defend himself, but this only makes Penny attack more! Sunday leans against the turnbuckles as PennyLord continues his attack. Mitch starts yelling out a five count, and forces Penny to back off when the clown doesn't stop at five. The Yardies boo Penny as he laughs maniacally and bows at them, acting as if the violent outburst didn't happen. He gets past Mitch and starts screaming gibberish in Sunday's face, making the other man cower. Penny laughs as he backs off again. ~
Zybala: I don't envy Sunday right now…
Dean: At least Warstein only beat him physically. The Clown is doing some mental damage too!
~ Sunday sags against the turnbuckles, trying to catch his breath. PennyLord take a slow, menacing step towards him. Sunday holds his arms up, begging him not to take another step. Penny grins and steps forward anyway. As he draws near, Sunday rears back, and lets out a huge scream of terror! He actually keeps it going for several seconds. When he's finished, the fans are speechless, but PennyLord keeps grinning. He lunges forward and grabs Sunday's arm! He yanks him out of the corner and traps him in a standing Python Grip!!! Penny has the Anaconda Vice locked in tight and Sunday immediately starts to tap! Mitch calls for the bell as The Yardies start booing The Family boss. The boos get louder when PennyLord refuses to release Sunday, who is screaming in pain. Mitch forces himself in between the two and pries them apart. Sunday gets free with Mitch's help and tries to walk away, buy PennyLord jumps on his back! Penny wraps his legs around Sunday's waist and lock in a sleeper hold!! Sunday and PennyLord fall to the mat and Penny holds on tight to the flailing Sunday! ~
Zybala: BARRYSLAYER!! Allton has been talking about this move for like a month and debuts it as the Lord of Evil!
Dean: Sunday already tapped out, but the sucka is being used as a message to Barry! The clown is vicious!
~ Mitch is trying to get the two apart again, and PennyLord releases Sunday. He stands up and watches Sunday cough violently. The Yardies boo as Penny enjoys their hate and fear. Sunday starts to crawl away and Penny laughs. He shouts that he's not done with Sunday yet and grabs his leg. Sunday screams and starts kicking with his other leg; managing to get free. Sunday crawls under the ropes and falls to the grass. PennyLord gives chase and exits the ring. Sunday, desperate to get away, crawls under the ring. Penny crouches down and reaches under the apron. He smiles and leans back. He pulls Sunday out by the foot. ~
PennyLord: Ooooooh noooo, little man! Penny still wants to play with you! Lots of fun left to be had!!
~ PennyLord let's out a manic cackle as he drags Sunday back to his feet and throws him back into the ring. Sunday scrambles to his feet as Penny rolls back into the ring. Sunday rolls out of the ring on the other side and runs to the house. Penny looks angry that his prey got away. PennyLord is about to leave the ring when he sees Sunday walking back out of the house. His mask is partially up, and he is drinking a can of POWERTHIRST!! Zybala swears about that being his last one. Sunday runs to the ring and motions for The Lord of Evil to bring it on. Penny smiles before lunging forward! The Yardies cheer when Sunday counters with a boot to Penny's stomach! He then grabs Penny in a front face lock and moonwalks before dropping him with a d.d.t.! The Yardies cheers become confusion as a second Sunday walks out of the house. ~
Zybala: Dean-o, I think I may have pre-gamed too much before the show. I'm seeing double!
Dean: I'm seeing it too, sucka. It looks like Sunday brought a ringer!
~ The Sunday in the ring stands over PennyLord, who is slowly getting to his feet. He sees the other Sunday and snarls at the one in the ring. Penny charges at the Sunday in the ring in a fit of rage, but Sunday scoops him up and nails him with a very sloppy spinning powerslam! The fans explode at this and a few start a chant, though we can't quite hear it. ~
Zybala: No…. You don't think…..
Dean: Who else sucka! The moonwalk d.d.t.! The Rollercoaster! Since Ace in a wheelchair, those moves can only belong to one Outsider!
~ Sunday stands tall above the fallen PennyLord. He reaches up to his mask and yanks it off and The Yard fills with deafening cheers! It's Barry!! The chanting gets louder and we can hear it's the Goldbers-esq "BAAA-RY!" chant. Barry starts smack talking when Tank and Vincenzo come running out! Barry puts the Sunday mask back on and leaves the ring. He goes next to the other Sunday, grabs him and they spin around a few times. Tank and Vince stop and look confused. Which one is Barry?? Vince asks the silent giant about his opinion, but Tank just shrugs. PennyLord is coming to, and sees what's happening. He groans loudly. ~
PennyLord: Just beat down both of them, you fools!
~ Vince and Tank both have that "oooooh." face people make when something is obvious but they couldn't figure it out at first. They take a step forward when one Sunday shoves the other into The Family before running away. Tank rips off the mask of the Sunday they're holding and it's some guy we've never seen. Vincenzo screams at Barry to stop, but Barry keeps running. Tank helps Penny out the ring and the clown doesn't look happy. He hits Sunday with the L.A.G. Punch and tells his boys to get in the ring. Their match is next after all. ~
Dean: I guess we're ready for the main event?
Zybala: Nope. INTERMISSION EVERYBODY
PennyLord: REALLY!?!?
Zybala: We gotta make food money too. You guys wanna get paid, right?
~ PennyLord sighs, hints of the Allton personality showing through. He waves his hand dismissively and gives up. Vincenzo leaves the ring and runs back to the house. PennyLord looks at him. ~
PennyLord: Where the hell are you going?!
Vincenzo: Bathroom, boss. I'm not using the outhouses like these pleebs.
~ INTERMISSION ~
~ We come back from intermission. Everyone is going back to their seats with food and drinks. Tank and Vincenzo are already in the ring with Allton in their corner. He is out of the PennyLord costume and in his regular clothes and in his wheelchair. Belvedere is in the ring. ~
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the evening and it is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL:
Belvedere: Introducing first, already in the ring….accompanied by the X-Factor champion Lord Allton….. Weighing in at a combined weight of 775 pounds…. They are Tank and Vincenzo….THE FAMILY!!
~ The fans boo and Vincenzo taunts them. Tank remains stoic and ignores all the noise. Belvedere let's the fans boo for a little bit before continuing. ~
Belvedere: Y sus contrincantes, viniendo de un lugar no en Mexico, con un peso combinado de 400 libras, ellos son sus campeones mundiales en parejas... Hectorrrrr y Victorrr, Los Hermaaaaaaanooos Mal-va-dos!!!!
~ The Yardies are a mix of cheers and boos as The Mariachi Band starts playing their cover of "Si Señor" by Control Machete. A minute passes but there are no brothers. Instead of the low rider coming out as usual, someone we have only met recently as ‘the cousin’ of the Malvados comes out from behind the curtain. He looks around at the crowd and then asks for a mic.~
Zybala: That dude is thick.
Dean: If you ask me, he was probably doing some time and recently got out of prison. They ain’t much to do inside the joint but lift weights.
Zybala: The voice of experience, everyone.
Cousin Malvado: So this is OCW huh? Not as bad as I expected. If you are wondering who I am, well my name is Giovanni Santana, but I go by “Cholo” and I am indeed the cousin of the Malvados. Unlike them, you can see I speak English but like them I can’t stand poser Italians. So I am here not only to watch their back, but also, to show off my gift to them. You see, like them, I know my way around the shop, but I like to focus around bikes... Lowrider bikes, so having said that, let me re-introduce my cousins, the Malvado brothers!
~The Mariachi band starts to play again, and this time the Malvados come out riding shiny and chromed out low-rider bicycles. What grabs your attention is the wheels of the bikes. ~
Zybala: Are those Lord Allton’s wheels, from his chair?! They even used one of the small wheels as training wheels!
Dean: We all thought these suckas sold them and instead they just flipped them into their new rides. That’s sick dawg!
~The Malvados ride their bikes to the ring and do a few laps around the ring before getting off. “Cholo” waves to the back and a couple of hands come over to take the bikes away to prevent them being stolen. He walks around the ring, keeping an eye on his cousins, waiting for the match to start. The Malvados are wearing the old GCWA tag team belts, which are now Outsider property, and make their way into the ring. One slides under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and hold their titles high, pumping up the crowd. The music stops and Mitch checks all four men before calling for the bell. ~
Dean: Main event time, sucka! These dudes have been Fuding with each other for weeks. Lots of bad blood in this one.
Zybala: True enough, Dean-o. Though, how will The Brothers handle the much bigger men? Especially when it looks like Tank is starting this one for The Family.
~ Vincenzo pats Tanks on the back before stepping between the ropes. Paco shouts words of encouragement to Victor, who is starting for his team. The Malvado looks Tank up and down, wondering how to start. He holds an arm up for a test of strength, but quickly pulls it back down realizinf he'll most likely lose. Victor runs back and hits the ropes, building momentum. He runs at Tank and leaps in the air with a shoulder block! Tank… well tank's the attack, not moving an inch as Victor collides with his massive chest and falls to the mat. Tank bends over and tries to pick up Victor, who quickly rolls away. Victor leaps onto the giant's back and locks in a sleeper! The fans cheer along with Hector, but it doesn't last long. Tank simply stands up, reaches behind and grabs Victor. He pulls the smaller man off and slams him to the mat! Tank raises a leg and tries to stomp on Victor, but he rolls over to his corner and tags in his brother. Hector is hesitant to get in the ring and he slowly steps through the ropes. Tank just stands there, waiting and looking menacing, as if daring Hector to try something. Hector hops on the top turnbuckle and leaps off with a crossbody! Tank simply catches the much smaller man as the crowd continues to boo. ~
Dean: Victor seems to be in a bad way.
Zybala: I think that one is Hector.
Dean: You sure?
Zybala: Not really….
Dean:.... And one half of the tag team champs is at the not so tender mercies of Tank!
~ Tank drops Hector across his knee with a back breaker, but keeps hold of the Malvado. Tank lifts him up and drops him across his knee again. Tank goes for a third time, only to get poked in the eyes by Hector! Tank drops his opponent as he holds a hand over his eyes. Hector takes the moment to catch his breath before he starts kicking away at Tank's legs. The big guy takes a blind swing but Hector dodges. Vincenzo and Allton are shouting instructions, but Tank can't really hear them over the noise of the crowd. Hector hits the ropes and springs off into a Ric Flair like shoulder block to the back of Tank's knee. The Yardies cheer as the behemoth of a man falls to one knee! Hector quickly runs to his corner and tags in Victor and both men start to punch and kick away at Tank! Vincenzo tries to get in the ring, but Mitch stops him. Allton is about to protest, but stops when he sees Tank stand up and pushes away the tag team champs. He then blindly makes his way towards the sounds of Vincenzo yelling and tags him in! Vinnie gets in the ring like a house of fire! He takes down Victor with a clothesline before going after Hector. He rocks the champ with stiff rights and lefts, backing Hector into a corner. Vince is working over Victor when Hector comes over and pulls Vincenzo away from his twin. Hector and Vincenzo start brawling and Victor recovers quickly and joins Hector. ~
Zybala: The champs are taking it to The Family, despite the size advantage going to Tank and Vincenzo.
Dean: Maybe they smoked some of that peyote before the match. Maybe the spirit quest granted the suckas some powers.
Zybala: Both scenarios are perfectly legal in The Yard.
Dean: Looks like Tank's vision is back! He is helping Vince!
~ Tank grabs Hector from behind and pulls him away, leaving Victor and Vince to duke it out. Tank throws Hector out of the ring before going back to his own corner, actually following the rules. Vincenzo pushes Victor away, then catches him with an uppercut that staggers The Malvado! Vincenzo then tries to tie up Victor with a double undertook, looking for The Larossia D.D.T., but Victor pulls away by falling to his knees. Vince tries to grab him again, only to get rolled up in a small package! Mitch goes to make the count. ~
Mitch: One…….
~ Before Mitch can count, someone dives on top of Victor, breaking up the pin! Mitch looks up, expecting Tank, but is surprised to see Thunder! Thunder keeps kicking away at Victor as Mitch quickly calls for the bell. ~
Belvedere: Here are your winners by disqualification, The Malvados!!
~ Thunder is still kicking away at Victor when Vincenzo turns him around and starts yelling at Thunder about interfering. Thunder responds by punching Vincenzo, who is more stunned than hurt. Then he gets angry. Vincenzo starts slapping around Thunder when he is stopped cold… literally. Lightning had snuck up behind Vince and poured a milkshake down his back! The sudden cold causes Vincenzo to do ridged as Thunder and Lightning start attacking him. Tank steps in to make the save when he gets attacked by both Malvados! The Yardies have a mixed reaction of cheers and boos. ~
Dean: The Family is getting a receipt for all the sneak attacks they gave these suckas!
Zybala: It's not the like Wrath and The Brothers are innocent though. All of these guys are guilty of some sort of attack.
Dean: And they're not the only ones! Here comes S.E.X.!!
~ The boos are overtaken by cheers as Private Bug Girl and Major Helmet storm the ring and jump Lightning! They beat on him for a bit before setting their sights on Tank, and go over to help The Malvados keep the giant down. Allton, still wearing the leg braces, starts to get up until he gets tackled by Barry! Everything devolves into chaos as everyone attacks each other, alliances be damned! Lucas Thames stands up from his seat and grabs the chainsaw labeled "Security." Zybala reaches into the fridge box and pulls out a baseball bat. The Life After Death members head to the ring and Thames revs the chainsaw. Everyone stops fighting and looks at the power tool. Zybala and Thames look at the wrestlers as if daring someone to act. They all glare at each other angrily as Dean turns on his mic to address them. ~
Dean: All you Suckas have been jumping each other for weeks, on both shows! That shows how important our tag titles are. You all want a title shot so bad, you got it! Since B Double and SuckaLord already have their Ultimate X match at Double X, why don't we hang up the tag titles too? How about all eight of you mutha fuckas fight for the Outsiders Tag Belts in a TLC MATCH!?!
~ The Yard explodes with cheers as the six contenders look satisfied, but The Malvados don't. They start talking rapidly to Zybala who just shrugs. He doesn't understand Spanish. Allton is now in the ring with Tank and Vincenzo, whispering to his boys. They take a step towards The Malvados, but Thames steps in the way. Thames and Allton glare at each other in a moment so intense that a certain handler in England is probably laughing while cursing my name. Everyone is staring each other down as the show fades to black. ~
Dean: Where is everyone, sucka?!
Zybala: Maybe they're in front, lining up?
Dean: Maybe?
~ Both men get up from the fridge box and walk to the gate. The look but see no one in the driveway. This isn't good. Zybala opens the gate and steps out of The Yard, followed closely by Dean. The walk to the front of the house to see nary but one person. Former OCW (the other one) general manager Marcus Welsh standing on the sidewalk with his trusty "Down With Zybala" sign. The three men glares at each other, as Welsh has no love for either Outsider. ~
Zybala: Has anyone been out here at all today?
~ Welsh smiles smugly. ~
Welsh: Only people walking their dogs. Not a single fan has lined up! My protests are working!
~ Zybala and Dean swear as Welsh continues to gloat. They ignore him and walk back in The Yard. Dean pulls out his phone and frowns at the display. ~
Dean: We told the suckas that the show was on the first, right?
Zybala: Yep, and that's today. Where the hell are they?
Dean: Maybe they just forgot? Or maybe they just stopped caring?
~ The hurt is evident in Dean's voice. Zybala has a flash of anger go across his face. He starts walking towards the house and slides the back door open so hard it's a wonder the glass didn't break. Dean follows again. Zybala walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge and freezer. He starts pulling out ice cream, chocolate sauce, milk and whipped cream and puts them all on the counter. He then opens the cabinet door under the sink and pulls out a box. Someone has written "OPEN IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" on it with a Sharpie some time ago. ~
Dean: The Fudge you doing, sucka?
Zybala: Desperate times, Dean. Desperate times.
~ Zybala grabs a knife and spoon from a drawer. He puts the spoon next to the ice cream and cuts open the tape on the box with the knife. Zybala then puts the knife in the sink, goes back to the box and opens it. Zybala reaches inside the box and pulls out a blender! He plugs it in, removes the blender top and starts scooping in all the stuff he pulled from the fridge. Zybala puts the top back on, pushes a button and the blender starts mixing the ingredients. Dean looks confused. ~
Dean: How in the actual Fudge is making milkshakes "desperate measures?" I want one by the way.
Zybala: Fine, after the fans get theirs.
Dean: What fans?? Nobody's here! I thought these were to drown our feelings.
Zybala: Don't underestimate the power of my milkshakes.
~ Dean blinks a few times at this statement. Something dawns on him and he looks annoyed as Poop. He's about to say something to Zybala when the sound of Welsh yelling stops him. ~
Welsh: GO AWAY!! THERE'S NO SHOW TODAY!! SAVE YOUR MONEY!! GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
~ Zybala is unphased as he keeps making milkshakes. Dean, however, walks to the front of the house and looks out the window. The camera looks out the window with him, and we see Welsh trying to stop a few guys from going to The Yard. The camera looks up the street and we see even more people. Males of every age walking as if in a trance with concerned wives and girlfriends walking with them. Dean is besides himself. ~
Dean: No Fuding way!
~ Dean and the camera person head back to the kitchen. Zybala is still making shakes as The Mariachi Band are running the completed shakes to seats in The Yard. Emilio and Eastern European are collecting money from the guys filling into The Yard. Soon, every seat is filled and everyone has a milkshake in hand. Zybala and Dean make their way back to the fridge box. ~
Zybala: Welcome back everyone to The Yard, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the 19th episode of Dystopia, and our go home show before our next pay-per-view. I'm Mike Zybala and I'm joined as always by Dean!
Dean: And I can't believe what I just saw. Fuding milkshakes?! That what it took?! Is this the lowbrow stuff we're resorting to?
Zybala: Dude, look at where we are. We have no bottom to drop to.
Dean: …….. Good point. One of our champs is a clown in a wheelchair for Fudge sake. Who is in action tonight taking on Sunday. Will the sucka finally get a win in Outsiders, or will the clown scare out another win?
Zybala: And we welcome back the wrestling legend Vacant as he takes on Alessandro Quagliaterre!
Dean: Bless you.
Zybala: Thank you.
Dean: And our main event is a non title tag team match where the champs, The Malvados take on one of their bitter rivals, The Family. Will the champs prevail or will The Family prove why they feel like they deserve a title shot?
Zybala: Let's find out! Show time, Belvedere!
~ Belvedere is in the ring and starts to do what he does best. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen and all Yardies alike; Welcome back to Dystopia! The following is your opening match of the evening and it is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
~ Disturbia" by Rihanna then plays on the sound system, and the crowd immediately responded with a mixed reception. Alessandro Quagliaterre then bursts through the curtain full of energy. The Yardies boo. They heard all of the comments this man has made about the beloved Outsiders. He soaks in the atmosphere and poses at the top of the ramp with a couple of dabs. He elongates this action for a considerable length of time, and this pisses the crowd off. A.Q. hates that he agreed to this, so he's going to make it worth his wild. ~
“No more gas in the red
Can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said
Can't even speak about it
All my life on my head
Don't want to think about it
Feels like I'm going insane
Yeah”
“It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
It's too close for comfort”
~ A.Q. smiles at the crowd, unaffected by their boos, and then in his own time, he slowly walks down the lawn without a care in the world. It's as if their hate gives him strength. ~
Belvedere: Introducing first….. from Alpine, New Jersey... weighing in at 240 pounds... ALESSANDRO QUAGLIATERRE"
~ A.Q. really drags this on and extends the crowd's patience to its fullest by taking as long as he wants. The audience gets frustrated throwing, even more, shade in the direction of Alessandro, but he brushes it off. He is about to start throwing $100 bills into the crowd like he does in GCWA until a beer can almost hits him. He swears as he puts the money away. ~
“Throw on your brake lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in Disturbia”
“It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight
Your mind is in Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
Disturbia
Disturbia”
~He then finally reaches the ring, and slowly walks up the steel steps, and poses some more on the turnbuckle, to really rub it into the crowd that he has arrived. He then flips down, waiting patiently by the corner of the ring, ready to unleash all types of hell on his opponent. The music stops and the fans cheer. Belvedere continues. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent….. He is the most decorated person in wrestling history, holding almost every title in every promotion. His weight is just like his hometown, unknown…. He is the end all, be all, VACANT!
~ If we were in an arena, the lights would dim, but since we're outside, the sun stays shining. A very Goldberg-esq music hits the speakers, but it's not quite the copywritten version everyone knows. It's like Outsiders did to the song what WCW did to many songs for many years. Fireworks start going off and sparklers are lit on the sides of the ramp. A person clad in a green full-body costume emerges from the house and makes their way down the ramp. The fans lose their minds for the legend called Vacant. A.Q. looks annoyed as Poop, and starts yelling for "Tony" to lose the mask. Vacant climbs into the ring as Belvedere exits. Mitch walks up and checks both men and calls for the bell. ~
Dean: Here we go! Alexander Quimby facing Vacant!
Zybala: Alessandro Quagliaterre ..
Dean: I really do not give a Poop, sucka.
Zybala: By the way… does Vacant's head look a little big to you??
Dean: A little. Maybe he just hasn't got a haircut in a while?
~ Vacant and AQ meet in the middle with a big collar and elbow lock up. They struggle against each other for a little before A.Q. gets the advantage. He forces Vacant back and shoves him into the corner. AQ breaks the lock up and steps back cleanly. Vacant steps right out and the two men lock up again. AQ has the advantage once again as he backs Vacant into the corner. The two men break the lock up, but Vacant tries to give a hard shove to AQ, who easily side steps. Vacant falls to the mat and AQ quickly jumps on him, locking in a headlock. The Yardies boo as AQ taunts them and Vacant as he squeezes the mask man's head. A big smile appears on AQ's face as he gets an idea. He dramatically raises a hand high before placing it on top of Vacant's head. AQ gets a headfull of the mask and starts to pull! ~
Zybala: AQ is looking to unmask Vacant! Will we finally see the Legend's face?!
Dean: Dude, we all saw the promos. We know who it is.
Zybala: Well excuse the Fudge out of me for trying to keep the mystique alive for the children.
~ Vacant is kicking and screaming and holding onto his mask for dear life! Though it's to no avail. With one good, hard tug AQ pulls the mask free! The crowd boos as he stands up holding the mask high for all to see. AQ turns to see Vacant with his arms over his head, trying to hide his face. AQ tosses the mask to the side and tries to pull Vacant's arms away. They fight and struggle on the mat, but AQ is eventually successful in pulling Vacant up, exposing his head! AQ looks smugly at the crowd, but is surprised to hear cheers. He turns to Vacant, and sees a Spider-Man mask! Vacant strikes a super hero pose, before attacking the stunned AQ with rapid body punches! ~
Zybala: That genius son of a bitch! He double masked! He expected AQ to try to pull off his mask and now he's on the attack!
Dean: Though it looks like the surprise is wearing off. Questionmark doesn't look pleased.
~Vacant keeps up the punches as AQ is looking annoyed. He's about to mount a counter offense but Vacant fires a forearm to the jaw of AQ! AQ is stunned and Vacant shoots him off into the ropes. Vacant leans over for a back drop and AQ hits him with a sun set flip for a pin.~
Mitch: One...
Two...
Kickout.
~ Vacant kicks out and AQ gets to his feet. He starts complaining to Mitch about what he thinks was a slow count. Vacant gets up behind AQ and spins him around to face him. AQ throws Vacant's hands off of him and headbutts him right in the face. Vacant staggers back dazed and holding his face as AQ scoops him up on his shoulder going for "Bedtime" (Go To Sleep)!! AQ hoists Vacant up, but Vacant counters and lands on his feet. Vacant gtabs AQ with a bearhug, lifts him up and starts spinning in a circle; the dreaded Spider Roll! The Yardies are cheering for Vacant to keep spinning and boo when he stops after a solid ten seconds. Both men are wobbly on their feet, but Vacant hasn't let go yet. He tries to lift AQ again, but AQ muscles out! He grabs Vacant's head and quickly pulls off the Spider-Man mask, only to reveal a Rorschach mask to the delight of the fans. ~
Dean: A third mask! This sucka doesn't want to be revealed!
Zybala: And AQ doesn't want to play anymore games!
~ The GCWA TV champ is beyond pissed at seeing yet another mask. He kicks Vacant right between the legs and lifts him up on his shoulders. Mitch calls for a dq but AQ doesn't care. He's indulged this bullshit long enough. He drops Vacant with "Bedtime" and watches the masked man fall to the mat. AQ grabs Vacant's head and neck, searching. He finds the bottom of the mask fabric and yanks all of them off, revealing…. GASP!! Tony the Spider!! The crowd boos as AQ starts yelling at Tony that he got his match and he'll never get a title shot. AQ throws the masks down on Tony before leaving the ring. He storms out of the Yard, yelling about law suits and being insulted. ~
Dean: Great. Like I need another law suit.
Zybala: Pfft! My lawyers can hold his up in litigation until the heat death of the universe. I'm not worried. AQ should be worried about Tony though.
Dean: True that. Tony may have got dropped, but he did technically win. Any win counts in the record books.
Zybala: Now for Dean's favorite part of the show… A segment from Allton!
Dean: Oh Fudge me. God damn clown.
We cut to Lord Allton getting ready for his match with Sunday. The Family is in the room with him as Bill is applying Lord Allton’s PennyLord make up.
Lord Allton: Tank, Vinnie, I could not be prouder of the two of you. After you beat the Malvado scum later tonight and after I beat Sunday – that is but a forgone conclusion after all – there is much celebrating to be done. I mean you two are the future Outsiders Tag Team Champions after all.
Bill finishes up Allton’s make up and seeing himself as PennyLord in the nearby mirror, Allton begins to giggle and there is a knock at the door.
PennyLord: ENTER!
The door opens to reveal the massive Frankie Larossia.
Frankie: Roberto I’m so glad you invited me down to see you and Vincenzo in act- Woah!
PennyLord: FRANCISCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO HELL! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! ENJOY THE FUN AND GAMES!!!!!!!!! OH, THERE WILL BE SO MUCH FUN TO BE HAD!
PennyLord, in his braces pushes past the Family as Frankie looks on in shock.
Frankie: Vincenzo, you didn’t tell me Roberto was walking now. And what’s with the get-up?
Vincenzo: I didn’t? Well… it’s the leg braces. They ‘walk’ for him.
Frankie: Notevole! (Remarkable!)
Vincenzo: And I’ve definitely told you about PennyLord…
Frankie: Ah. Pennywise in the head. Right… Has anyone checked him out for multiple personality disorder…?
Vincenzo and Tank vehemently shake their heads.
Vincenzo: I’m not telling the boss he has problems. Are you? It's fuckin' suicide Frankie!
Frankie crosses arms still staring out of the room in the direction that PennyLord went.
Frankie: Good point. Well if you or Roberto need me, I'm here.
The Larossia brothers and Tank all smirk at one another.
FADE OUT.
~ We cut back to the ring where Belvedere is ready to do his thing. ~
Belvedere: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!!!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first…..His weight and height are irrelevant… he hails from Parts Unknown…. He is the last day of the week…. Sunday!!
~ Sunday Morning After" By Amanda Marshall hits the speakers. Someone in a white full bodysuit with a red cross on it. Their face is covered by the bodysuit. They're wearing football gear, a helmet, shoulder pads, all of that stuff. The Yardies are a mix of cheers and boos. Sunday gets to the ring and starts taking off the football gear. The music stops as Sunday waits patiently for his opponent. Suddenly, a group of clouds pass by overhead, casting an ominous shadow over the yard. The speakers start playing something.... ~
"DOWN HERE, WE ALL FLOAT!"
~ "Every 27 Years" (from IT Chapter 2) hits the speakers as PennyLord walks out!! He is making good use out of his leg braces . The fans boo this evil looking, smug bastard as he rolls his way to the ring. He has a wicked smile that never leaves his face. ~
Belvedere: And his opponent.... Hailing from The Macroverse! Weighing in "on a scale your mortal minds couldn't comprehend".... He is "The Lord of Evil" PennyLord!!
~ The Yardies boo as many shy away as PennyLord strolls past. They don't even attempt any form of contact. They are thoroughly freaked out. They aren't the only ones. We can hear Dean let out a scream. ~
Dean: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Zybala: Jesus! My ears! Dude, you've seen Allton like this before
Dean: Still hate clowns, sucka.
Zybala: You're not the only one. Even with the mask on, you can tell Sunday is nervous
~ Mitch gets done checking Sunday and turns towards the smiling PennyLord. Mitch shakes his head no and calls for the bell. The match is underway! Sunday looks nervous as PennyLord rolls to the center of the ring with an awkward somersault, still grinning and trying to be a silly, friendly clown. It appears he is trying to be pleasant. He raises his right hand and gestures at it with his left. Penny is suggesting a test of strength. Sunday looks apprehensive and doesn't accept. Penny's smile turns into a frown. It seems as if Sunday hurt his feelings. ~
Dean: Sunday better not trust him! It's a trap, sucka!
Zybala: You don't know that. Allton could be upset.
Dean: D.T.C., sucka! Don't Trust Clowns! Lived my whole life with that saying.
~ Penny's eyes light up and his smile returns. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a balloon. He blows it up and we see that it's of the long and thin variety. PennyLord starts twisting and manipulating the balloon in a dog shape. A few fans clap for this skill. Penny presents the balloon animal as a gift to Sunday, who stares at it for a moment before cautiously reaching out for it. The moment Sunday touches the balloon, it pops! Sunday takes a step back, startled and PennyLord lunges forward with an attack! He starts throwing wild fists at Sunday, not caring what body part he hits, just as long as he is making contact. PennyLord is pushing Sunday back into a corner with flailing blows. Sunday does his best to cover up and defend himself, but this only makes Penny attack more! Sunday leans against the turnbuckles as PennyLord continues his attack. Mitch starts yelling out a five count, and forces Penny to back off when the clown doesn't stop at five. The Yardies boo Penny as he laughs maniacally and bows at them, acting as if the violent outburst didn't happen. He gets past Mitch and starts screaming gibberish in Sunday's face, making the other man cower. Penny laughs as he backs off again. ~
Zybala: I don't envy Sunday right now…
Dean: At least Warstein only beat him physically. The Clown is doing some mental damage too!
~ Sunday sags against the turnbuckles, trying to catch his breath. PennyLord take a slow, menacing step towards him. Sunday holds his arms up, begging him not to take another step. Penny grins and steps forward anyway. As he draws near, Sunday rears back, and lets out a huge scream of terror! He actually keeps it going for several seconds. When he's finished, the fans are speechless, but PennyLord keeps grinning. He lunges forward and grabs Sunday's arm! He yanks him out of the corner and traps him in a standing Python Grip!!! Penny has the Anaconda Vice locked in tight and Sunday immediately starts to tap! Mitch calls for the bell as The Yardies start booing The Family boss. The boos get louder when PennyLord refuses to release Sunday, who is screaming in pain. Mitch forces himself in between the two and pries them apart. Sunday gets free with Mitch's help and tries to walk away, buy PennyLord jumps on his back! Penny wraps his legs around Sunday's waist and lock in a sleeper hold!! Sunday and PennyLord fall to the mat and Penny holds on tight to the flailing Sunday! ~
Zybala: BARRYSLAYER!! Allton has been talking about this move for like a month and debuts it as the Lord of Evil!
Dean: Sunday already tapped out, but the sucka is being used as a message to Barry! The clown is vicious!
~ Mitch is trying to get the two apart again, and PennyLord releases Sunday. He stands up and watches Sunday cough violently. The Yardies boo as Penny enjoys their hate and fear. Sunday starts to crawl away and Penny laughs. He shouts that he's not done with Sunday yet and grabs his leg. Sunday screams and starts kicking with his other leg; managing to get free. Sunday crawls under the ropes and falls to the grass. PennyLord gives chase and exits the ring. Sunday, desperate to get away, crawls under the ring. Penny crouches down and reaches under the apron. He smiles and leans back. He pulls Sunday out by the foot. ~
PennyLord: Ooooooh noooo, little man! Penny still wants to play with you! Lots of fun left to be had!!
~ PennyLord let's out a manic cackle as he drags Sunday back to his feet and throws him back into the ring. Sunday scrambles to his feet as Penny rolls back into the ring. Sunday rolls out of the ring on the other side and runs to the house. Penny looks angry that his prey got away. PennyLord is about to leave the ring when he sees Sunday walking back out of the house. His mask is partially up, and he is drinking a can of POWERTHIRST!! Zybala swears about that being his last one. Sunday runs to the ring and motions for The Lord of Evil to bring it on. Penny smiles before lunging forward! The Yardies cheer when Sunday counters with a boot to Penny's stomach! He then grabs Penny in a front face lock and moonwalks before dropping him with a d.d.t.! The Yardies cheers become confusion as a second Sunday walks out of the house. ~
Zybala: Dean-o, I think I may have pre-gamed too much before the show. I'm seeing double!
Dean: I'm seeing it too, sucka. It looks like Sunday brought a ringer!
~ The Sunday in the ring stands over PennyLord, who is slowly getting to his feet. He sees the other Sunday and snarls at the one in the ring. Penny charges at the Sunday in the ring in a fit of rage, but Sunday scoops him up and nails him with a very sloppy spinning powerslam! The fans explode at this and a few start a chant, though we can't quite hear it. ~
Zybala: No…. You don't think…..
Dean: Who else sucka! The moonwalk d.d.t.! The Rollercoaster! Since Ace in a wheelchair, those moves can only belong to one Outsider!
~ Sunday stands tall above the fallen PennyLord. He reaches up to his mask and yanks it off and The Yard fills with deafening cheers! It's Barry!! The chanting gets louder and we can hear it's the Goldbers-esq "BAAA-RY!" chant. Barry starts smack talking when Tank and Vincenzo come running out! Barry puts the Sunday mask back on and leaves the ring. He goes next to the other Sunday, grabs him and they spin around a few times. Tank and Vince stop and look confused. Which one is Barry?? Vince asks the silent giant about his opinion, but Tank just shrugs. PennyLord is coming to, and sees what's happening. He groans loudly. ~
PennyLord: Just beat down both of them, you fools!
~ Vince and Tank both have that "oooooh." face people make when something is obvious but they couldn't figure it out at first. They take a step forward when one Sunday shoves the other into The Family before running away. Tank rips off the mask of the Sunday they're holding and it's some guy we've never seen. Vincenzo screams at Barry to stop, but Barry keeps running. Tank helps Penny out the ring and the clown doesn't look happy. He hits Sunday with the L.A.G. Punch and tells his boys to get in the ring. Their match is next after all. ~
Dean: I guess we're ready for the main event?
Zybala: Nope. INTERMISSION EVERYBODY
PennyLord: REALLY!?!?
Zybala: We gotta make food money too. You guys wanna get paid, right?
~ PennyLord sighs, hints of the Allton personality showing through. He waves his hand dismissively and gives up. Vincenzo leaves the ring and runs back to the house. PennyLord looks at him. ~
PennyLord: Where the hell are you going?!
Vincenzo: Bathroom, boss. I'm not using the outhouses like these pleebs.
~ INTERMISSION ~
~ We come back from intermission. Everyone is going back to their seats with food and drinks. Tank and Vincenzo are already in the ring with Allton in their corner. He is out of the PennyLord costume and in his regular clothes and in his wheelchair. Belvedere is in the ring. ~
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the evening and it is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL:
Belvedere: Introducing first, already in the ring….accompanied by the X-Factor champion Lord Allton….. Weighing in at a combined weight of 775 pounds…. They are Tank and Vincenzo….THE FAMILY!!
~ The fans boo and Vincenzo taunts them. Tank remains stoic and ignores all the noise. Belvedere let's the fans boo for a little bit before continuing. ~
Belvedere: Y sus contrincantes, viniendo de un lugar no en Mexico, con un peso combinado de 400 libras, ellos son sus campeones mundiales en parejas... Hectorrrrr y Victorrr, Los Hermaaaaaaanooos Mal-va-dos!!!!
~ The Yardies are a mix of cheers and boos as The Mariachi Band starts playing their cover of "Si Señor" by Control Machete. A minute passes but there are no brothers. Instead of the low rider coming out as usual, someone we have only met recently as ‘the cousin’ of the Malvados comes out from behind the curtain. He looks around at the crowd and then asks for a mic.~
Zybala: That dude is thick.
Dean: If you ask me, he was probably doing some time and recently got out of prison. They ain’t much to do inside the joint but lift weights.
Zybala: The voice of experience, everyone.
Cousin Malvado: So this is OCW huh? Not as bad as I expected. If you are wondering who I am, well my name is Giovanni Santana, but I go by “Cholo” and I am indeed the cousin of the Malvados. Unlike them, you can see I speak English but like them I can’t stand poser Italians. So I am here not only to watch their back, but also, to show off my gift to them. You see, like them, I know my way around the shop, but I like to focus around bikes... Lowrider bikes, so having said that, let me re-introduce my cousins, the Malvado brothers!
~The Mariachi band starts to play again, and this time the Malvados come out riding shiny and chromed out low-rider bicycles. What grabs your attention is the wheels of the bikes. ~
Zybala: Are those Lord Allton’s wheels, from his chair?! They even used one of the small wheels as training wheels!
Dean: We all thought these suckas sold them and instead they just flipped them into their new rides. That’s sick dawg!
~The Malvados ride their bikes to the ring and do a few laps around the ring before getting off. “Cholo” waves to the back and a couple of hands come over to take the bikes away to prevent them being stolen. He walks around the ring, keeping an eye on his cousins, waiting for the match to start. The Malvados are wearing the old GCWA tag team belts, which are now Outsider property, and make their way into the ring. One slides under the bottom rope while the other leaps over the top rope. They each go to a corner jumping onto the second turnbuckle and hold their titles high, pumping up the crowd. The music stops and Mitch checks all four men before calling for the bell. ~
Dean: Main event time, sucka! These dudes have been Fuding with each other for weeks. Lots of bad blood in this one.
Zybala: True enough, Dean-o. Though, how will The Brothers handle the much bigger men? Especially when it looks like Tank is starting this one for The Family.
~ Vincenzo pats Tanks on the back before stepping between the ropes. Paco shouts words of encouragement to Victor, who is starting for his team. The Malvado looks Tank up and down, wondering how to start. He holds an arm up for a test of strength, but quickly pulls it back down realizinf he'll most likely lose. Victor runs back and hits the ropes, building momentum. He runs at Tank and leaps in the air with a shoulder block! Tank… well tank's the attack, not moving an inch as Victor collides with his massive chest and falls to the mat. Tank bends over and tries to pick up Victor, who quickly rolls away. Victor leaps onto the giant's back and locks in a sleeper! The fans cheer along with Hector, but it doesn't last long. Tank simply stands up, reaches behind and grabs Victor. He pulls the smaller man off and slams him to the mat! Tank raises a leg and tries to stomp on Victor, but he rolls over to his corner and tags in his brother. Hector is hesitant to get in the ring and he slowly steps through the ropes. Tank just stands there, waiting and looking menacing, as if daring Hector to try something. Hector hops on the top turnbuckle and leaps off with a crossbody! Tank simply catches the much smaller man as the crowd continues to boo. ~
Dean: Victor seems to be in a bad way.
Zybala: I think that one is Hector.
Dean: You sure?
Zybala: Not really….
Dean:.... And one half of the tag team champs is at the not so tender mercies of Tank!
~ Tank drops Hector across his knee with a back breaker, but keeps hold of the Malvado. Tank lifts him up and drops him across his knee again. Tank goes for a third time, only to get poked in the eyes by Hector! Tank drops his opponent as he holds a hand over his eyes. Hector takes the moment to catch his breath before he starts kicking away at Tank's legs. The big guy takes a blind swing but Hector dodges. Vincenzo and Allton are shouting instructions, but Tank can't really hear them over the noise of the crowd. Hector hits the ropes and springs off into a Ric Flair like shoulder block to the back of Tank's knee. The Yardies cheer as the behemoth of a man falls to one knee! Hector quickly runs to his corner and tags in Victor and both men start to punch and kick away at Tank! Vincenzo tries to get in the ring, but Mitch stops him. Allton is about to protest, but stops when he sees Tank stand up and pushes away the tag team champs. He then blindly makes his way towards the sounds of Vincenzo yelling and tags him in! Vinnie gets in the ring like a house of fire! He takes down Victor with a clothesline before going after Hector. He rocks the champ with stiff rights and lefts, backing Hector into a corner. Vince is working over Victor when Hector comes over and pulls Vincenzo away from his twin. Hector and Vincenzo start brawling and Victor recovers quickly and joins Hector. ~
Zybala: The champs are taking it to The Family, despite the size advantage going to Tank and Vincenzo.
Dean: Maybe they smoked some of that peyote before the match. Maybe the spirit quest granted the suckas some powers.
Zybala: Both scenarios are perfectly legal in The Yard.
Dean: Looks like Tank's vision is back! He is helping Vince!
~ Tank grabs Hector from behind and pulls him away, leaving Victor and Vince to duke it out. Tank throws Hector out of the ring before going back to his own corner, actually following the rules. Vincenzo pushes Victor away, then catches him with an uppercut that staggers The Malvado! Vincenzo then tries to tie up Victor with a double undertook, looking for The Larossia D.D.T., but Victor pulls away by falling to his knees. Vince tries to grab him again, only to get rolled up in a small package! Mitch goes to make the count. ~
Mitch: One…….
~ Before Mitch can count, someone dives on top of Victor, breaking up the pin! Mitch looks up, expecting Tank, but is surprised to see Thunder! Thunder keeps kicking away at Victor as Mitch quickly calls for the bell. ~
Belvedere: Here are your winners by disqualification, The Malvados!!
~ Thunder is still kicking away at Victor when Vincenzo turns him around and starts yelling at Thunder about interfering. Thunder responds by punching Vincenzo, who is more stunned than hurt. Then he gets angry. Vincenzo starts slapping around Thunder when he is stopped cold… literally. Lightning had snuck up behind Vince and poured a milkshake down his back! The sudden cold causes Vincenzo to do ridged as Thunder and Lightning start attacking him. Tank steps in to make the save when he gets attacked by both Malvados! The Yardies have a mixed reaction of cheers and boos. ~
Dean: The Family is getting a receipt for all the sneak attacks they gave these suckas!
Zybala: It's not the like Wrath and The Brothers are innocent though. All of these guys are guilty of some sort of attack.
Dean: And they're not the only ones! Here comes S.E.X.!!
~ The boos are overtaken by cheers as Private Bug Girl and Major Helmet storm the ring and jump Lightning! They beat on him for a bit before setting their sights on Tank, and go over to help The Malvados keep the giant down. Allton, still wearing the leg braces, starts to get up until he gets tackled by Barry! Everything devolves into chaos as everyone attacks each other, alliances be damned! Lucas Thames stands up from his seat and grabs the chainsaw labeled "Security." Zybala reaches into the fridge box and pulls out a baseball bat. The Life After Death members head to the ring and Thames revs the chainsaw. Everyone stops fighting and looks at the power tool. Zybala and Thames look at the wrestlers as if daring someone to act. They all glare at each other angrily as Dean turns on his mic to address them. ~
Dean: All you Suckas have been jumping each other for weeks, on both shows! That shows how important our tag titles are. You all want a title shot so bad, you got it! Since B Double and SuckaLord already have their Ultimate X match at Double X, why don't we hang up the tag titles too? How about all eight of you mutha fuckas fight for the Outsiders Tag Belts in a TLC MATCH!?!
~ The Yard explodes with cheers as the six contenders look satisfied, but The Malvados don't. They start talking rapidly to Zybala who just shrugs. He doesn't understand Spanish. Allton is now in the ring with Tank and Vincenzo, whispering to his boys. They take a step towards The Malvados, but Thames steps in the way. Thames and Allton glare at each other in a moment so intense that a certain handler in England is probably laughing while cursing my name. Everyone is staring each other down as the show fades to black. ~
