Post by jackmehoff on Mar 22, 2024 21:39:08 GMT -5
We are taken to JM Studio. Sandy Marshall walks in through the front door, and walks up to the reception desk where Jack's "receptionist" Eva Ridge is sitting, a bored look on her face.
Sandy gives her a big smile and leans over the counter. Eva hardly looks up from her computer.
Eva: Jack's in studio 1, said he's expecting you.
Sandy walks down the hall, opens a door labeled studio 1, walks in a finds an elaborately decorated set designed to look like the set of Wheel of Fortune. Standing behind the podiums are three attractive porn stars.
Jack is standing off to the side wearing a tacky looking suit and a wig that looks like it came from Trumps House of Hair.
Jack: Allright Vanessa, you've already won a $10,000 gift certificate for your favorite plastic surgeon. You can either spin or try to solve the puzzle.
Vanessa stands there for a second looking at the board. On the other side of the studio, Kelly Lingus is standing in front of a letter board that spells out "Berret_ Bl_de h_s _ f_t _ss."
Vanessa: I'm going to solve. "Beretta Blade has a fit ass."
A buzzer sounds and Vanessa gets a disappointed look on her face.
Jack: Nope, I'm sorry that's not the answer. Lisa, it's your turn.
Lisa: I'm going to spin.
Lisa reaches down and spins the wheel. As the wheel spins, it becomes apparent that it doesn't list dollar amounts, but cuts of meat. The pointer lands on "Ribeye" and a prerecorded audience cheers. Lisa claps and looks excited.
Jack: All right, Lisa. you just won a ribeye steak. Now comes the hard part. You can either take the cut of meat you just won, or you can choose what's in the mystery box.
Jack steps out from behind the podium and he has a gift wrapped present he's holding over his crotch.
Lisa: I think I'm definitely going to choose the box.
Sandy clears her throat, and Jack looks over at her.
Jack: Oh, hi Sandy. How's it going?
Sandy: What are you doing?
Jack: Shooting the pilot for a new game show called "Meat Spinners"
Sandy looks down and Jack has his arms folded over his chest, but the box he was holding over his crotch is still there. There's a uncomfortable silence between the two for a moment.
Jack: You're here to do an interview right? Why don't I get out of costume and I'll meet you back here in five minutes.
Sandy: That sounds like a good idea.
Five minutes later, the camera is rolling again and Jack is standing next to Sandy wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that says, "I vote for Jack N. Mehoff."
Sandy: Hello Thundermaniacs. Sandy Marshall here with "Your Girlfriends Favorite Wrestler" Jack N. Mehoff. Now Jack, you came up short in your match at Thunder in Paradise, loosing to Xavier Lux. What are your thoughts on that?
Jack: Well obviously the match was a conspiracy against me. We can tell just from looking at the size of Xavier Lux head that Venom isn't the only thing running through his veigns.
Jack puts his hand against the side of his face and loudly whispers to the camera.
Jack: I'm saying he's on steroids.
Sandy: Moving on, you've got a match against Berretta Blade coming up at Friday Night Fury. Do you have any special strategy for facing a woman like her?
Jack: Well this won't be the first time I've faced a woman in a wrestling match. It's actually kind of fun to go toe to toe with women, and especially when they're trying to kill you. So, let's just see how she handles herself.
Sandy: I see. I'm sure you're familiar with her innovative move set, especially her split legged leg drop that has blown up over the internet. How do you prepare for a move like that?
Jack: I'm sorry? What now?
Sandy: Her split legged leg drop.
Jack: I haven't seen it.
Sandy: Here let me show you.
Sandy pulls out her phone and shows Jack a video of Berretta Blade doing her split leg drop.
Jack just stares at the phone then slips into his own happy world where "Wouldn't it be Nice" by The Beach Boys starts to play. Jack finds himself in a sunny field running along next to a picture of Berretta Blades ass. The scene lasts only a few seconds before Jack is pulled back to reality.
Sandy: Jack?... Jack? Are you ok?
Jack: Uhhh yeah.
Sandy: What would happen if she hit that move on you?
Jack: My face would die happy.
Sandy: What?
Jack: Umm.. Ok, gotta focus here. Berretta Blade. We all know what you're really looking for by signing up for this match. You're hoping to get a little something, something from me. But that's not going to happen in the ring. Maybe after the match if you want to get together and show me ...what that glorious booty of your... no no no. I've got to stay focused. See, I'm a professional. Just ask any one of my costars how professional I can be.
The camera pans over to the three porn stars Jack was working with earlier. One of them waves her hand and has a look on her face that says, "Eh, not really."
Jack: Whoa camera man. If you wanna shoot those girls, you gotta come workfor me. You keep the camera right where it belongs on me. So in case you don't really follow what I'm saying, let me spell it out for you.
Jack steps out of the shot and the camera goes to the letter board, spelling out "Berretta Blade is g_ing d_wn" before going back to Jack.
Jack: Want to buy an "O"? See Blade, when you step in the ring with me, you're spinning the wheel. And come Friday Night, there's only gonna be one outcome.
Jack walks over to the wheel and spins it. The camera focuses on the pointer as the wheel spins. It starts to slow down, looks like it's going to land on "rump roast" before it finally lands on
