Post by Ricky McGee on Apr 9, 2024 19:20:50 GMT -5
We open to a wooden cabin, where a short man with a comically bushy moustache is present with a microphone. He stares at the microphone, unsure if the microphone is actually on.
MAN WITH MOUSTACHE
Is this thing on?
Some guy then comes on screen, seemingly to do the testing. He then speaks into the microphone.
SOME GUY
Testing!
The microphone works.
SOME GUY
Yep!
The guy then waddles off the screen like an Oompa Loompa, as the man with the bushy as hell moustache begins to speak.
MAN WITH MOUSTACHE
Hello there, I’m The Man With The Bushy Moustache!
He then shows his driver’s license, showing that is his actual name.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
And tonight, we have a rather…interesting guest.
Ricky McGee then comes onto the screen, with an axe in hand.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
So, Ricky….you have a triple threat match coming up. It’s against Angelo Caito, and……
The Man With The Bushy Moustache then sighs, trying to say the other competitor’s name.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
Jack N. Mehoff…..
He, alongside the camera crew, begins chuckling at the name. Ricky, however, just stands there, preparing to say what he wants to say.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
These two are very hungry competitors…and it seems they will do everything in their power to win this one. What is your strategy, how will you prevail?
Ricky then smiles, before starting to speak.
RICKY MCGEE
I’ll crush ‘em with my sheer strength, b’y! After all, I’m the largest man in the match, and plus, while it ain’t a hardcore match, I sure as hell can throw a weapon if I need to, such as this axe!
The Man With The Bushy Moustache ducks for cover, out of fear of what potentially is going to happen.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
Oh dear god! No!
Ricky then is about to throw the axe….only to then not do so.
RICKY MCGEE
As you can see, I am quite the package. And you say those two are hungry competitors? Well, b’y. They are nothing compared to me, after all, I eat plenty of piles of Jiggs Dinner, all to maintain my strength.
Ricky then pulls out an entire jug of maple syrup, and proceeds to chug the whole thing in seconds, much to the horror of the bushy moustache man.
RICKY MCGEE
Gahh…that was good, yeah. Anyways, you two better be prepared for an uphill battle, with me standin’ above you two, and I celebrate with the fans, and the family at home, b’y!
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
Okay….anything else?
RICKY MCGEE
Wanna see my pet?
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
What pet?
Suddenly, a massive black bear comes onto the screen.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
O-OH SH-
All the camera crew run away out of fear for their lives, as does The Man With The Bushy Moustache. We then suddenly cut to black.
MAN WITH MOUSTACHE
Is this thing on?
Some guy then comes on screen, seemingly to do the testing. He then speaks into the microphone.
SOME GUY
Testing!
The microphone works.
SOME GUY
Yep!
The guy then waddles off the screen like an Oompa Loompa, as the man with the bushy as hell moustache begins to speak.
MAN WITH MOUSTACHE
Hello there, I’m The Man With The Bushy Moustache!
He then shows his driver’s license, showing that is his actual name.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
And tonight, we have a rather…interesting guest.
Ricky McGee then comes onto the screen, with an axe in hand.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
So, Ricky….you have a triple threat match coming up. It’s against Angelo Caito, and……
The Man With The Bushy Moustache then sighs, trying to say the other competitor’s name.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
Jack N. Mehoff…..
He, alongside the camera crew, begins chuckling at the name. Ricky, however, just stands there, preparing to say what he wants to say.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
These two are very hungry competitors…and it seems they will do everything in their power to win this one. What is your strategy, how will you prevail?
Ricky then smiles, before starting to speak.
RICKY MCGEE
I’ll crush ‘em with my sheer strength, b’y! After all, I’m the largest man in the match, and plus, while it ain’t a hardcore match, I sure as hell can throw a weapon if I need to, such as this axe!
The Man With The Bushy Moustache ducks for cover, out of fear of what potentially is going to happen.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
Oh dear god! No!
Ricky then is about to throw the axe….only to then not do so.
RICKY MCGEE
As you can see, I am quite the package. And you say those two are hungry competitors? Well, b’y. They are nothing compared to me, after all, I eat plenty of piles of Jiggs Dinner, all to maintain my strength.
Ricky then pulls out an entire jug of maple syrup, and proceeds to chug the whole thing in seconds, much to the horror of the bushy moustache man.
RICKY MCGEE
Gahh…that was good, yeah. Anyways, you two better be prepared for an uphill battle, with me standin’ above you two, and I celebrate with the fans, and the family at home, b’y!
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
Okay….anything else?
RICKY MCGEE
Wanna see my pet?
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
What pet?
Suddenly, a massive black bear comes onto the screen.
THE MAN WITH THE BUSHY MOUSTACHE
O-OH SH-
All the camera crew run away out of fear for their lives, as does The Man With The Bushy Moustache. We then suddenly cut to black.
